THE GREASY CORNER HERITAGE GAZETTE

January 24

Wail Goodmorning Folks,

Herman Fly here yer rovin' r'poter happy t' 'nnouce I'm back on th' tower. Yep! Got all thet 'baccy outta muh system, not t' mention every thang else thet yew could possibly 'magin. Bubba en Silas come over yestidey en help t' get muh personal belongin's back up top here after th' unfornunate series of events' occurred las week thet put it all down on the ground. Yew know sumtin' we discover though? Yew know how all them big city r'porter's is always a talking about how the gov'ment is always a wastin' yer money by paying too much fer the stuff they buy? Wail now, I'm here t' tell ya I knows why they pays a lot fer their stuff....It's cause theys high quality tough en rugged. Yew r'member the desk that fell from th'top of th' tower clean down t' ground? Wail I got thet at the gov'ment surplus sale they had down a the missel site they closed down las year. That sucker fell 100 feet down en never even got a dent. En then when we wuz a pullin' back to the top th' utter day.....th' durn rope busted the first time en it fell again. Nope still didn't hurt it nun. 'course th' fact it fell slap damn it th' center of Ol Silas' pickup truck roof en crushed it clean into th' seat most lakely helped to cushion it a bit but thems thangs is tough.....En speaking of tough....'member a couple weeks ago I mentioned Ol Silas had drove his truck into th' river? Yep t'was the same truck.....I tell ya folks them Toyota's is tough too....Of course he has t' bend down a bit now when he drives it....but thet sucker started rat up en drove away.....Heater don't work nun now but Ol Silas wuz pretty hot 'bout the dent in his roof so's I reackon he won't freeze nun. Jes' kin't unnerstand why he didn't hang 'round en hep us git th' utter stuff back up thar though...

Wail I don't think there wuz a dry eye in th' whole town on sunday when th' firemen begun t' remove th' beautiful Christmas tree down in the town square. Wail ax'ually they didn't haft t' take it down s'actlly. The snow had dun knocked it to th' ground, en then thar was that l'il ol short circut then thet started th' fire thet burnt it up but they was quit a crowd a standing by to watch the firemen gather up all them lights en wire en stuff en put it back on the truck thet s'pose t' send it back on its way t' Wershington.... Hope Billy ain't too mad at us but we sendin' a note along s'plaining bout the misforture.....being a 'lection year we don't figure he's gona say much enyhow. Th' town council is also sendin' a letter t' th' GE folks t' inquire 'bout the shippin' schedules fer next years delivery..........

Wail as most of yew already knows by now Monday past was the first day of th' Hoss racing season a th' world famous Greasy Corner Downs and flea market. It wuz a real nice openin day en all considering th' fact the track wuz still cover pretty much up by snow. The police Chief Omar Snagg is still investigatin' th' only incident that occurred durin' the day. I'm happy t' report that nun of the eight animals that wuz a runnin' the forth race wuz hurt when at th' half way point they met up with officier Ploolie who wuz a going the opposite direction on th' track on his brand new snow mobile.....Officer Ploolie contends it t'weren't his fault cause he wuz a using his sireen en red flashing lights en therefore had th' right o way.....

Til next week this here' Herman H. Fly, yer eddyter in Chief a signin' off