Chapter 02: House Calls

The door opened again. This time a woman of middle age entered. Zane had never seen her before. She glanced approvingly at the fallen figure. "Excellent," she murmured.
Zane wrenched his horrified gaze to her. "I killed Death!" he exclaimed.
"Indeed you did. You shall now assume his office."
"I-what?" Zane was having trouble regaining mental equilibrium.
"You are the new Death," she said patiently. "This is the way it is done. He who kills Death becomes Death."
"Punishment..." Zane said, trying to make sense of this.
"Not at all. This is not murder in the normal sense. After all, it was him or you. Self-defense. But you are committed to take his place and to do the best job you can."
"But I don't know how to-"
"You will learn on the job. We all do. Certain enchant- ments will imbue you, to facilitate your performance and stabilize you, but the real motivation must be yours." She stooped to strip Death's black cloak from his body. "Help me, please; we do not have excessive time and we don't want to get blood on the uniform."
"Who are you?" Zane demanded, getting half a grip on himself despite the overwhelming unreality of the scene.
"At the moment I am Lachesis. You can see I am of middle age without much sex appeal." She was quite cor- rect; her face had the lines of solid maturity, and her hair was nondescript under a tight bun. She was comfortably overweight, but moved efficiently. "I determine the length of the threads. Now lift his body; I don't want to tear the cloak."

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Distastefully, Zane put his hands on Death's corpse and lifted. "Who is Lachesis? What threads? What are you doing here?"
She sighed as she worked the cloak off the body. "I suppose you do deserve some minimal explanation. Very well; you keep working, and I will tell you some of what you need to know. Not all of it, for some secrets are reserved to me, just as some, you will discover, are re- served to you. Lachesis is the middle aspect of Fate. She-"
"Pate?"
"You will not leam very much if you insist on inter- rupting," she said with some asperity.
"Sorry," Zane mumbled. This felt unreal!
"Now get his shoes. They're invulnerable to heat, cold, penetration, radiation, et cetera, just as is the cloak. You must always be properly garbed when making a collec- tion, or you become vulnerable. It is essential that you not be vulnerable. Your predecessor here was careless; had he closed his hood across his face, the bullet would not have harmed him. See that you are more careful; you will have greater need to be on guard than he did."
"But-"
"I believe that interjection constitutes an interruption."
Zane was silent. There was an eerie power about this woman that had nothing to do with her appearance. She could be the mother of any rebellious teenager.
"I am Fate, with three aspects," she continued after just enough of a pause to verify her command of the situation. "I determine the threads of the tapestry of life. I am here to ensure that you change roles expeditiously. It is very important that you perform better as Death than you have as a living person, and I believe you do have the potential. Now stand up so I can fit the cloak to you."

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Zane stood, and she set the cloak on his shoulders. It was not heavy, but it carried a peculiar mass. She had spoken of magic; this item of apparel reeked of it. "Yes, it is close enough. Go ahead and don the shoes; and don't forget the gloves. The shoes will, among other things, enable you to walk on water. Your rounds must not be balked by mundane trifles."
"But this is preposterous!" Zane protested. "I was about to kill myself and now I'm a murderer!"
"Certainly. I had to measure your thread very care- fully. Technically, your life just ended; see, Death's body will be taken for yours." She turned over the body, and Zane saw that it looked uncomfortably familiar. It now resembled his own-with a bullet hole in the face. "You will fill the office until you, too, grow careless and permit a client to turn on you."
"Or until I die of old age," Zane said, not really be- lieving any of this.
"Old age will never come to you. Neither will death, if you perform well. If you ask the average person what he most desires, he will answer, 'Never to die.' That is, of course, an absolutely foolish wish; in due time you will be better able to appreciate the importance of dying. It is not the right to live, but the right to die that is most important."
"I don't see-"
"What is life, except an ongoing instinct for survival? Nature uses that instinct to make us perform; otherwise we would all relax, and the species would disappear. Na- ture is a cruel green mother. The survival instinct is a goad, not a privilege."
"But if I don't age-"
"Time holds all supernatural agents, especially the sev- eral Incarnations, in abeyance. You will live until you die, however many days, years, or centuries that may be, but you will never change from your present physical age." She guided him to his wall mirror.
"Supernatural agents?" Zane was grasping at periph- erals, being as yet unable to get to the nucleus of this situation. "Incarnations?"

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"Death, Time, Fate, War, Nature," she said. "The ma- jor field agents operating between God and Satan, an- swerable to neither. If any of us were scheduled to die like mortal folk, we would have to be concerned for the disposition of our souls, and that's a conflict of interest. No, we are immortal, as we have to be, accountable to neither superpower. But we do have to do our jobs, or things become complicated."
"Our jobs," Zane repeated weakly. "I'm no killer. At least I wasn't, until this-"
Fate glanced at him penetratingly, and suddenly he knew she knew about his mother. He felt cold, and the guilt rose up in him again. But Fate did not raise that matter. "Of course not," she agreed, eying the body on the floor. "This was a mismanaged suicide. Death does not kill; Death merely takes the souls of those who are dying, the problematical ones, lest they be lost and wan- der forever inchoate."
Now Zane found something concrete to argue. "There are five billion people in the world! A hundred million or so die each year. Death would have to take several each second, scattered across the globe. That's impossible!"
"Not impossible, but perhaps unfeasible," she said. "Look in the mirror, please."
Zane looked. The death's-head gaped back at him, en- cased in its hood. Hits hands in the gloves were skeletal, and his ankles above the shoes were fleshless bones. He had assumed the visage of Death.
"You are, of course, invisible to most people when in uniform," Fate said. "Clients can perceive you, and those who are close to them emotionally, and the truly religious people, but the rest will overlook you unless you cali attention to yourself."
"But the mirror reflects my image-as that of Death! People will faint!"
"Perhaps I misspoke myself. You are not physically invisible; you are socially invisible. People see you, but do not

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recognize your significance, and forget you once you pass. But when you remove the uniform, your powers fade. You are then vulnerable; you can age and be touched and hurt. So don't step out of character without reason."
"Why would Death want to step out?"
She formed an obscure little smile. "It does get dull socializing with your own kind exclusively. I am said to be attractive in my Clotho aspect-" She became abruptly young and lovely, a striking figure of a woman with hair so light in color it seemed to shine and with skin like alabaster, but her eyes remained disturbingly knowing. "Yet I would not hold your interest for centuries, perhaps not even decades. So we must dally on occasion with mortals."
Zane wondered how many decades or centuries it would take to get bored with a woman who looked like that. It was an intriguing thought, but in a moment he returned to his prior concern. "How can a single Deathperson take several people each second? Hundreds of people must have died just while we've been talking here! I didn't collect their souls and I don't think this person did." He indicated the defunct Death.
"I see I will have to explain in greater detail." Fate shifted back to her middle-aged aspect and sat down in Zane's best chair. Her eye caught the Wealthstone on the table beside it. "Oh, I see you have ajunkstone. You use it to produce dimes for telephones?"
"Something like that," Zane admitted sheepishly.
"I've seen them before. The stone is dirt-grade ruby from India, imported wholesale and sold in five-thousand carat lots for fifty cents a carat. It's technically corundum, but too poor a quality to hold a decent spell. I understand some idiots are deluded into paying gem-grade prices for individual stones."
"True," Zane agreed, drawing the Deathhood close about his face so his flush would not show.
"Still, as a cheap novelty item, it's not bad. Once in a while a stone like this will take a better spell and locate dollar bills.

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But it's axiomatic that such a rock will never produce the value paid for it."
Zane thought again, painfully, of the beautiful, rich, romantic Angelica. "True."
"Well, you won't need money now, unless you spend a lot of time out of uniform and get hungry. Better to acquire a small cornucopia and use it for such occasions. Your job should keep you too busy for that, until you develop proficiency."
"I still don't see how-"
"Oh, yes, I was about to explain. Only a small per- centage of people need Death's personal attention. The vast majority handle the transition themselves-though, of course, this is via the extended ambience of Death's will."
"Death's will?"
"Oh, my, you are a novice! Let me see, I need an analogy. You know how your body goes on breathing when you're not paying attention, even when you're sleeping? It's a bit like that. Death's power is immediate and personal, but it is also distant and impersonal. When Death attends to a client personally, it is like consciously breathing; when Death merely permits a soul to depart its host unattended, that is like your autonomic system, the automatic functioning of your body. But when you die, these functions cease, both the conscious and the unconscious. When Death dies, all deaths in the world cease, until the new Death commences the office. The former Death, for example, is not really dead yet; his soul remains pinned in his body. He can not die until you act, though his body will never again be animate. That is why it is so important that the transition be facilitated. Imagine the havoc if no one ever died!"
"I don't know. If people lived forever-"
"I haven't time to argue foolishness!" she snapped. "Just be satisfied that the first soul you personally attend to will free all the rest to depart naturally, on their private schedules, as my threads have dictated. Up to half an hour can be tolerated; I

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have arranged for this. But be yond that, there will be one atrocious tangle."
"What souls do I-does Death have to attend to per- sonally? I really don't understand-"
"It relates to the nature of souls and the balance within each soul of good and evil. Every good thought and deed lightens the burden, and every bad deed or thought weights it down. A newborn infant, generally, is about as close as we come to true innocence; only when self-discretion comes can evil be indulged in. As William Henley put it: It matters not how strait the gate. How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul. So the younger the person is at death, the more likely his soul is to remain innocent, and to float to Heaven when released. As William Words- worth put it: Not in entire forgetfulness. And not in utter nakedness. But trailing clouds of glory do we come From God, who is our home: Heaven lies about us in our in- fancy! With age and self-discretion, the evil tends to ac- cumulate, weighting the soul, until the balance is negative. Such souls plummet like lead sinkers when released. But a few souls are in balance, with equal freighting of good and evil; these have no dominant affiliation and tend to cling to their familiar housing. These are the ones who need assistance,"
"That's what Death does!" Zane exclaimed, catching on at last. "Collects ambiguous souls!"
"And sorts them out carefully, determining their proper destination," Fate concluded. "Those few that are in per- fect balance must be delivered to Purgatory for profes- sional treatment."
"This is really to be my job?" Zane asked. "To collect balanced souls?"
"And to facilitate the progress of all the others," Fate agreed. "It really is. You may find it difficult at first, but it is certainly better than the alternative." She glanced at the virtually dead Death.

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Zane shuddered. "But why was I chosen to fil! this office? I'm completely unqualified! Or is it pure chance?"
Fate stood. "1 prefer to answer that at another time. I must not keep you from your appointed rounds any longer."
"But I don't even know how to locate my-my clients!"
"There should be an instruction manual somewhere. Mortis will help you."
"Who is Mortis?"
She looked about. "Oh, I almost forget. You had better take the accouterments; I'm not sure how they work, but you'll need them."
"Accouterments?"
"The jewelry. The magic devices."
"My Wealthstone? I don't see-"
"Not thatjunkstone. Leave everything of your former life here as it is. Especially the star. Sapphire is no good for wealth divination at its best, and this one's inferior. Leave your watch, too, and any rings you have. You are through with living." She walked toward the door.
"But I have so much to learn!" Zane cried plaintively.
"Then get to it. Death," she said, closing the door behind her.
Zane looked desperately about, seeking some better hold on reality. How could he be Death? He had never even imagined anything like this!
He saw something flashing. It was a solid watch on the wrist of the dead Death that would hardly be in keep- ing with the corpse of Zane, who had been too broke to redeem his pawned watch. This was surely an'accouter- ment. He bent, with a certain distaste, to remove it, then put it on his own wrist. It was heavy, a good four ounces, but fitted comfortably, as though sized for him, and the flashing stopped. Evidently the watch had merely been calling attention to itself so that it would not be over- looked; it went with the office. It was, of course, dead black: a mechanical, self-winding instrument that seemed dull but expensive.

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Why would Death use a mechanical watch, of whatever quality, instead of a sophisticated electronic one, or a miniature magical sundial? Zane couldn't answer that at the moment. Maybe the last Death officeholder had been of a conservative bent. He might have lived for centuries before getting careless and failed to keep up with the times.
Odd, Zane thought, that he felt no special remorse for the person he had killed. His initial shock at the act was wearing off, so that what remained was mostly horror that there had been a killing, as if he had just watched a sin- gularly brutal murder on television. Maybe this devel- oping indifference was because, to him. Death remained an "it" rather than a human being. But he, Zane, was now that "it."
He spied another flash. It was from an ear ornament, almost concealed because Death's left ear lay against the floor. Surely he was meant to take this, too; it was one of the items of jewelry Fate had mentioned. He nerved himself for another contact with the dead flesh and got the gem removed. It was an earring, with a red garnet cabochon, rounded on one side, flat on the other, shining prettily.
The thing was designed to fit a pierced ear, and Zane's ear was whole. He hesitated, then put the gem in his voluminous cloak pocket.
There were footfalls in the hall, followed by a tentative knock on the front door. "Mr. Z, are you all right?" a voice came. It was his elderly neighbor, a nosy woman, but nice enough.
Zane stood frozen again. What should he do? If he let her come in-
"Mr. Z!" the neighbor called more urgently.
"I'm all right!" he called back.
"Mr. Z," she repeated. "I heard what sounded like a gunshot from this room. Please answer me!"
"It's all right!" Zane shouted.
The door opened. The woman's head poked in. "Mr. Z, why

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don't you answer? I know you're home; I saw you come in. If there is anything wrong-if a mugger shot you-"
"I am home! There's no mugger!" Zane shouted. "Please get out!"
The woman came all the way into the apartment. "I'm sure I heard-" Then she spied the body on the floor. It now wore Zane's clothing, though he did not remember dressing it; probably Fate had done that while he was distracted by the enormity of his situation.
She screamed "Mr. Z! You're hurt!" She hurried to inspect the corpse, running right past Zane as if not seeing him. "In fact-you're dead!"
"So it seems," Zane said, somewhat wryly. Now the shock of what he had done was washing back across him, animated by the neighbor's reaction. He had set out to suicide-and instead had killed another man. He was a murderer! The immediately following events had been so surprising that much of the horror had passed him by. Now it was clarifying, and he was appalled. He had done many unfortunate things in his life, and today had been the worst, for never before had he killed another human being.
Well, technically he had killed. But that had been a special case, and his mother- He cut off that thought. He had guilt, and he was indeed somewhat hardened to the evils of the world. Still-
The neighbor woman turned. Now she saw him. "Oh, officer!" she said. "I'm so glad you're here. Mr. Z is dead! I fear it was suicide! I heard the shot, and he didn't an- swer-"
Why had she waited so long before investigating? He had fired the gun half an hour ago. It must have taken her that long to work up her curiosity sufficiently. "Yes, thank you," Zane said gravely. "I will take it from here."
"Oh, that's a relief!" The woman fluttered out.
Zane relaxed slightly. So it was true: he was mostly unrecognizable while in the Deathcape. The woman had seen

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him neither as himself nor as Death; she had taken him for a policeman, the kind of reassuring person she expected. Soon she would have the whole building informed.
He walked out himself, traveling along the narrow hall and down the stairs toward the waiting vehicle. As he did, he realized in a random revelation that the Deathstone in the Mess o' Pottage shop had been technically correct, but significantly wrong. It had signaled his encounter with Death, but had not advised him that he would in fact assume a new office and become immortal. That was the problem with omens; they suggested the fact without sug- gesting the implication.
He paused. What waiting vehicle? He had no car of his own, and no one had told him of one. Yet he had somehow assumed-what?
Well, how had Death traveled here? Did he flap his arms and fly through the air, or did he drive a car? What- ever it was, that was what Zane had to do.
He stepped outside, peering about, letting his eyes ad- just to the night. There was a vehicle: a pale limousine, parked sedately in the landlord's parking space. The land- lord would have had the intruding car towed away-but the man was coincidentally absent. Probably coincidence favored the operations of the-what had Fate called them?-the Incarnations. After all, how could Death han- dle his rounds if his car kept getting towed away by irate mortals?
Zane thought it was the Deathcar, because its parking lights were blinking at him. The things of Death made sure Death did not neglect them. Zane would have been pleased, if the whole thing were not so grim.
He walked up to it and around the rear. The license plate said MORTIS. That explained Fate's reference to the name; he had somehow thought she referred to a person, but obviously it was the machine. There was a bumper sticker: DEATH IS NATURE'S WAY OF TELLING YOU TO

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SLOW DOWN. Just so. He opened the door and climbed onto the plush driver's seat.
This was as elegant and comfortable an automobile as he had ever encountered. Somber quality emanated from every part of it. The upholstery was genuine alligator leather and the metalwork was solid chrome. It was prob- ably worth thirty-five thousand dollars in stock condition before the expensive options were added. He wasn't sure he dared try to drive it.
His watch flashed, calling attention to itself. It was mechanical, but it had a magic way about it. The glowing hands indicated 8:05 P.M., the correct time of day. But the red sweep hand was moving. It hadn't been before; the seconds were marked by a miniature inset dial on the left, opposite the day-date windows on the right. This little hand was still moving, so he knew that function had not been usurped by the sweep. What was the red hand doing?
As he watched, the sweep passed the noon spot-and the hand in the little thirty-minute dial just below it clicked back from 9 to 8. The stopwatch function was operating- and now he realized it was running backward. The sweep hand was moving counterclockwise. What kind of stop- watch was that?
A countdown timer, he realized. This watch was telling him he had less than eight minutes to do something, or to get somewhere. But what, or where?
A cold shiver crawled down his back. He was Death, or some poor facsimile thereof. He had to go and collect his first soul!
Zane rebelled. He had not sought this office! Only the purest coincidence had brought him to this incredible pass.
Coincidence? He had touched on that before. If the woman who had explained things really had been Fate, then she must have measured the thread of his life; she had guided him to his damnable destiny. She had put him here deliberately. In so doing she had in effect killed his predecessor. Why had she done that?
The watch was blinking insistently. He now had six minutes.

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He wasn't sure what would happen if he missed whatever appointment he had, but knew already that these supernatural entities played hardball politics. Maybe his predecessor had balked, and so Fate had arranged to eliminate him. Certainly she had evinced no grief at his demise. If Zane balked, she could do the same to him. He wasn't sure how he felt about this office, but knew he wasn't ready for that. So he had better get on with the job, trying to buy time to figure out his real feelings about it, and to ascertain what his real options might be.
Where was the instruction manual Fate had mentioned? He didn't see it, and didn't have time to look for it. The thing could have been lost a century ago by his predecessor.
Zane put his hands on the steering wheel of the car named Mortis and touched his right foot to the acceler- ator. Where was the ignition key? He had none. Maybe it was back on the body of the former Death.
Zane shuddered. He had been propelled into this mis- adventure, but he didn't want to go back to its starting point! He checked the panel, hoping for an alternative. After all, many vehicles operated by magic in minor ways, just as many magic things had mechanical controls. A simple touch switch was marked ON/OFF. He flicked it to ON-and the car came to life. The front panel lighted, the radio came on, and the seat harness clasped him pro- tectively. The motor thrummed with muted power. Oh, yes, this was some car!
Well, so be it. Zane found the reverse control and started backing th car out. It handled like a dream device, amazingly smooth and responsive. Death had live no spartan existence! A warning beeper sounded, and the rearview mirror flashed; the way was not clear. But in a moment it was, as a stray auto passed, and he was able to back onto the street.
The Deathmobile continued to move smoothly, responding so instantly and accurately to his smallest guidance that it

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almost seemed alive. Zane was no automotive expert, bu suspected this was one of the finest machines of its breed. It was not magic, basically, but was as apt an instrument of transport as anything magical could be. Oh, yes, Death possessed the best!
Yet death, for all his perquisites, was dead. This was the sombre reality beyond the seeming affluence. Death's killer inherited the estate.
He shifted to DRIVE and moved carefully forward, getting the feel of this wonderful thing. It was easy to merge with the traffic. The windows and mirrors provided excellent visibility all around, and the wheels seemed almost to steer themselves. Maybe there were crash guards, magnetically distancing the car from other vehicles. Certainly the driving seemed better than Zane's own, since poverty had kept him out of cars for some years.
The Deathwatch now indicated four minutes. Where was he going.
Zane concentrated on the passing geography and realized he was heading west. But this did not necessarily bear any relation to the direction in which he should go to make his appointment. How did Death home in on his victims?
Victims? He did not like the term. Fate had used the word 'client', as he recalled; that was better.
By whatever term, there had to be a way. Zane felt about his cloak and found an inner pocket with an object inside. He drew this out and glanced at it while driving.
It was a bracelet, with the band broken. That explained why the former Death had not been wearing it. Death had grown careless about a number of details, it seemed! But what did this this item signify?
There were three prominent jewels set in the bracelet. One was an orange-yellow cat's eye, the eye stretching across half the polished suface. It seemed almost alive, looking at him. The middle one was a pink stone with a line across it, the line

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capped by a kind of arrowhead at one end. The third was greenish gridstone, probably rutilated quartz, pretty in its fashion, with two imperfections on its surface. One marking was light, the other dark. There was also a light tracery of curved lines marring the otherwise straight-line pattern.
Zane couldn't make much sense of this. The watch now showed only two minutes remaining. He had to figure things out in a hurry!
He turned a corner - and as he did so, he saw that the pink stone changed. Its arrow swung around to point in a new direction. No - the car had swung about; the arrow pointed the same way it had before, northwest.
Zane goosed the accelerator and cut into the fast lane. A driver honked in protest, but gave him room. He turned another corner, now going east - and the arrow swung again. It definitely pointed somewhere.
He turned north, then east, orienting as well as he could on the direction shown. The arrow remained true to its heading - but now the cat's eye was changing, grrowing larger on its stone. That must mean he was getting closer. It was a perspective-stone, telling him when he got near to his destination.
But the cat's eye was expanding very slowly; if its rate was linear, he would never get to his appointment on time. Somehow it seemed very important that he did so. Was lateness as bad as an outright baulk?
Zane turned another corner - and noticed that the green gridstone brightened as he did so. What did that mean?
He turned again - and saw that a button on the car's dash glowed in concert with the flash of the green grid.
Experimentally, he turned again, ignoring the chorus of protests by the other cars to his erratic behaviour, and touched the button with forefinger, just as it flashed.
The car wrenched. The outlines of the city blurred. Zane felt as if he were in a spaceshuttle, zooming at supersonic

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