Profiles and Top Goalscorers
Top Goalscorers this season 2001/2
| Anthony Dolan | 14 |  |
| Mark Conner | 11 | |
| Paul Walsh | 10 | |
| Alan Humphrey | 9 | |
| Derek Witty | 8 | |
| Richard Lundie | 7 | |
| John Murphy | 5 | |
| Eddie | 4 | |
| Gordon McDowell | 3 | |
| Tim Bennett | 3 | |
| Trevor Messer | 3 | |
On two goals are : Dave Fry, Ricci Aherne, Tim Munden, Alex Tripple and Alan Jeffries.
On one goal are : Barry Lundie, Jason Raife, Giles Moore, Paul Colohan, Chris Tapsell, Paul Jablonski, Craig Wells, John Marland, Liam McGowan, Danny Cocker, Brian Joyce, Ian Smith and Pat McGrory.
| Danny Woods (Psycho/Dirk Diggler) | Legendary temper and player with a short fuse. Outstanding goalkeeper and defender but prone to crazy moments of madness and suicide tackles. | |
| Glenn Hines (Casanova) | Player with more women than goals. Determined, but likely to have an occasional outburst at anyone within listening distance. Famous for legendary benders out on the town and sliding tackles on Pub furniture. | |
| Richard Lundie (Rico Suave) | David Beckham of the team. Loves flash clothes, not the sharpest tool in the toolshed but a successful scorer. Free kick specialist but doesn't believe in offside. Comic genius with quick wit and rib tickling jokes very useful sideline in mending showers. | |
| Alan Humphrey (Tart) | Girl of the team who constantly moans about his hair and treatment from the opposition. Pacey and skillful player with an already excellent scoring record. Outstanding diver and winner of many free kicks. | |
| Dave Fry (Trigger) | Strong tackler and generally determined, just got to point him in the right direction. Slightly overweight but still young and has the potential to get even fatter. | |
| Anthony Dolan (Lurch) | Nickname because of his lanky apperance and long legs, nothing to do with the bolt in the neck. On course to be the top goalscorer this season. Son of the legendary 'Brian Stomach Dolan' see below. Outstanding skill and pace considering he runs like a lemming. | |
| Paul Walsh (Walshie) | Tireless midfielder who doesn't stop running. Good passer and a bag of tricks. When spotted in the changing room, a stranger reported a sighting of Bigfoot. | |
| John Marland (Becks) | Nickname due to his love of ambitious passes. Highly respected captain and sound defender. Problems occur trying to understand his Northern gob. More often than not, a sarcastic bastard who looks for loop holes in thick players points of view. | |
| Fraser Wells (Fraser) | Dopey but consistent defender. Known for his famous sliding tackles and repeating questions after they have been answered. Scorer of a 50-yard thunderbolt against Carshalton this season. | |
| Andy McCormack (Macca) | Student of the game who's knowledge to the team is unquestionable. A scally scouser who likes his lager but supports the props of the Premier, Everton. Solid full-back with a dodgy hamstring. | |
| Jeff Clarke (Mr Constructive) | Known for his harsh criticisms after the game and a low confidence builder. Veteran of the club and still able to fill a position. Great reader of the game but likely to foul his opponent if he can't get the better of him. Tour organiser to Holland, God help us. | |
| Dave Charles (The Professor) | Manager of the first team and well known for his tactical knowledge of the game. Likes to get the subs money early so he can have a swift half before the game. | |
| Del Whitty (Scarface) | Scores a lot of goals that prove miracle do happen. Typical hurly-burly English/Irish centre forward with lightning pace over two yards and the ability to score with any part of his body. | |
| John Cammell (Shady) | Shady character who's always up to something. Legendary centre-back who in his hey day was a classy defender, or so he says. Main organiser of the club and also a reliable referee. Managed and skippered the victorious 3rd XI in 1990/91 | |
All comments are made in jest and no offence is intended. If there are any complaints concerning members own descriptions please respond by email and we will alter.