I take a short deep breath, then sigh deeply.

I know I am dying. I know it is already my time. This time, it's for real. No more wishes, no more time. But only death.

No...I have only one last wish. To see the boy who gave me strength to fight.

Yusuke...

He is only my student, yet he meant so much to me. A long time ago, I would've scorned my feelings, wouldn't have made anything out of it. But I felt like he was my responsibility. Those times he was under me, training under me, I would see him, trying so hard. I yelled at him, screamed at him...but I felt like a mother beneath all those.

It felt like having a son I never had.

He was so determined to please everybody. So full of life...

He made me remember what I wanted to forget...what I had longed to forget.

I feel a hand catch mine--my gnarled hands--and I turn to see Kurama, sitting beside my futon, smiling softly. He knew. I knew he knew. But he wouldn't say it.

"We had a hard time getting Yusuke," he says quietly. "He's still in Makai. And Hiei's fighting some battle with Mukuro. So it'll be hard to pull them away."

"It doesn't matter," I whisper, closing my eyes.

"Dammit, of course it matters," Kuwabara, who is behind Kurama, snaps. "You were Yusuke's master! He cares!"

"He shouldn't," I murmur. "I shouldn't."

I know Kuwabara means to say more, but I hear Kurama's voice calming him, then pushing him away, leaving me alone in the old room.

I see the darkness and I see pictures of my old self.

~ * ~

"I can't do it, Baasan!" Yusuke cried, frustrated.

I scowled. This kid needs hard work! "Yes, you can!" I shouted. "This is training, Urameshi! You have to work hard...think hard!"

"I just can't do it!" His arms were wobbling, his fingers throbbing. His pointed hand was still on the large crystal needle. One wrong slip and your whole body dies. That was what we had come to agree on.

"Why don't you just try it, Yusuke?" I challenged. "Too chicken?"

Yusuke's head snapped up to me and he glared. "I'm not a fucking chicken!" he muttered angrily.

"Prove it, Yusuke. Prove to me you're worth it." I backed away. "I wouldn't be wasting my time with you if I didn't think you can do it, would I?"

"DAMMIT!"

I whirled around and saw that Yusuke has pushed away his power, making him jump into the air, coming to me. "I'm not your servant!" he yelled.

I quickly jump with ease, meeting him eye to eye. He looked surprised as I smiled at him. Then, I held out my hands and blasted him with my ki.

His eyes turned into amazement, then pain. He was thrown into the other side of the room and landed on the floor with a thud. He was still looking dazedly at the ceiling when I came up to him.

"See?" I told him. "You still have some power left, or you wouldn't have any to jump and face me."

Yusuke looked up at me, frowning. Then, understanding dawned into him. "Hai, Baasan."

I slapped his head. "Don't call me that."

He grinned. I straightened. "You have to remember, Yusuke, that you cannot give up. You must never give up. As long as you have powers within you, you must use that for what you concentrate on. Your powers should not only be used for the sole purpose of strength, but of need."

He nodded seriously.

"Shall we try it with the needle again?" I asked.

He frowned, then shrugged.

"I take that as a yes." I pulled him up and pushed him back to the needle.

~ * ~

I open my eyes, feeling tears pricking through them.

Memories flood in me. I love Yusuke. He is like my son. No, I do not love him like I loved...love?...another man. A man who has already gone ahead of me. My most bitter enemy...and my sweetest lover.

"Genkai-sama?" a soft voice whispers.

I turn my head and see Yukina. Poor thing. She still doesn't even know that Hiei is her twin brother. But she had been such a comfort in my living. She wasn't very close to me, but she had always visited me during my loneliest days. She had been there, just like she's here now.

"Genkai-san," she said softly, holding my hand, "you're very weak."

"Hai, Yukina," I said softly.

She bows her head, and I heard a soft tapping sound. Something blinks at my eyes and I realize that she is crying. "Yukina-san, stop crying. It doesn't suit you," I whisper.

She wipes her tears away. "Gomen ne," she whispers, picking up her tear gems. "I know...I shouldn't act this way. When you've been through this before..."

I close my eyes, remembering the time I died...that time I had died, not in Toguro's arms, but by his powers.

"Genkai-san?" Yukina asks softly.

"Hai?"

She is silent, then speaks again. "I'll stay with you. Right here."

"Arigato." I close my eyes and start dreaming again.

~ * ~

"I feel, Genkai."

"Of course you do, Toguro." I did not move much, only stared up his narrow eyes.

"No, Genkai-san. I feel. I feel anger." His arms move rhythmically as he rowed the boat we were riding into the other island.

"Anger, Toguro?" I wasn't surprised. He had always felt anger.

Toguro was silent, then said softly, "Not only anger. But hatred. Anger, hatred...and fear."

That surprised me. Toguro? Feared something? "What is it, Toguro?" I asked, alarmed.

He looked away, didn't meet my eyes. "Sometimes, Genkai, I lie awake at night. I dream of things while awake. Of blood. Of people. Of death." His breathing became ragged. "I see many people die. Youkais, Humans...and they all die. The only thing living is me. But I, too, will die. I know I'll die with them. And I don't want that, Genkai."

"Don't want Death?"

"I know blood. I feel them. I taste them. I yearn for them. But I don't want my blood to run down my hands. To feel cold Death...to have someone defeat me."

I realized that we had come into a stop. He stood and jumped out of the boat, not minding the ankle-deep water. He did not offer his hand to help me. I never expected him to.

I jumped off after him, then began, "Death is a natural part of life. It comes to someone, sooner or later."

"I know, Genkai-san." Toguro faced me, and I saw fear in them. I was scared at what I saw. "I know that it will But it comes to Humans quicker. Youkais don't die easily. They don't age easily." He touched my smooth face with his hand, ran it up my cheeks.

I close my eyes, feeling his warm touch against my skin. "What are you saying, Toguro?"

"That I want to be a youkai."

My eyes flew open, and suddenly, his fingers felt cold. "Toguro...that's...different."

"It's my wish." He looked at me hard. "Why?"

I turned to my feet. "It's just that--it should come up with us. We have time to live, and we have time to die, Toguro."

"But I don't want to die!" he said in frustration. "I want to live! To be able to live! Being born as a Human is a curse, Genkai. Believe me." He fell on the ground, clenching his hands, his eyes closed tightly. "I don't want Death."

It was the first time I saw Toguro show fear...and it scared me. He had always been my rock...my Toguro...l had depended on him. Who should he depend on?

I closed my eyes against the scene...the scene that filled me with dread. And I whisper the only thing I could think of to say then.

"You will die. And I will die with you. We will be together. Isn't that enough?"

~ * ~

Isn't that enough?

My eyes open, and I see Hiei sitting beside Yukina. They are talking in low voices, but I know what they are talking about.

Suddenly, Hiei breaks away from their conversation and turns to me. "Genkai," he says. His voice was still low and threatening, but there is compassion in it.

"Hiei," I acknowledge him.

He leans closer. "Yusuke said he will try to be here as soon as he can. He's still in battle for all Makai. But he said he'll be here." As usual, there is no emotion in the voice. It sounds so familiar, I almost smile.

"It doesn't matter," I say, my voice weak. "I doesn't matter now."

Hiei is beside me in a second. "It matters to you," he says in a low voice, so Yukina doesn't hear. "Doesn't it? Yusuke matters. You love him like he's your son. Your child."

I close my eyes again. He is wise. Wiser than I gave credit for. "Hai." There was no point denying it.

He looks at Yukina, finds that she is busy making tea, then turns back to me. He holds my hand. "You said to Yusuke once not to give up. To use his powers until he has finish it all off. Don't give up on Yusuke, Genkai. He will come. You're important to him, so he will come."

I smile. He is so much like Toguro... "You're right, Hiei."

He is right. Of course, like Toguro then, he is right.

~ * ~

I have been waiting for three days. No more strength. No more power.

The last of my Spirit is waiting to draw away.

I hear Yukina crying. I feel Kurama hold my hand. I hear Kuwabara soothing Yukina. And I feel Hiei's power, slowly increasing.

Then, I feel it. I hear it. Another thing.

I feel the pounding of the wooden ground, feel faintly the strong ki. I slowly open my eyes, and see that the rest of the room also turn as the door to the shrine slides open.

A figure, standing there, was breathing hard. Then, he slowly emerges and kneels beside me, holding my other hand.

"Baasan," he says in a low voice.

"You've--grown stronger," I murmur.

"Hai. With your help." He holds my hand tighter. "Baasan..."

I touch his cheek, weak from the action. "Yusuke-kun...don't--give up your power--until the very last battle..." I close my eyes. "You have been like a son to me."

"Baasan..." I can feel him smile through the tears that runs down his cheeks.

I smile. "No crying."

"I'm not crying for you," he retorts, quickly wiping them away.

I smile, feeling content. He is here. The son I never had. And through the other door, there is someone else waiting. My beloved. Not the one I had fought, the one I had strongly resisted...

But the one I loved. Still love.

He smiles, his lean, hard face turning into the handsomest face I've ever seen.

I reach out my hand as he did with me. Our fingers touch, and he leans forward, whispering, "No need to fear, Genkai. No need to fear."

"I have no reasons to fear anything," I say. "Now that you're here--with me."

He smiles and leads me to the light...to Reikai...where the tunnel leads to Koenma's domain. The last time I went here, the tunnel had been bleak...full of anger and sadness.

Behind me, I leave a world of pain, tears and sadness.

But most of all, I left happiness.

I can feel their happiness.

I can feel their pain.

I can feel their tears.

They were all for me.

Me.

Genkai...the late Master of the Spirit Waves.