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It's been several months now since I first began this page. In good-web-site time, it's just a baby, but in real time I feel I've pined about enough and need to get on with my life. There are a million other, far more interesting and attractive people out there for me to meet, and I'm going to party with every last one of them.
I know. I'm lying. I'm not going to go out and take the world by storm. I've never been the party girl and I'm not going to start now. But there are some other things I've done that are just as good--actually better--than that: I've made new friends. It's crazy, and I'm sure it doesn't happen to everyone, but I had a whole group just waiting for me when I was lonely. I realize that I was really blessed in this area, but now that I have these friends, I can't be lazy; I have to keep them. And that takes just as much work as any other relationship. I've worked things out. In my own mind, at least, if not by talking to Dan, I've reflected and seen that there were problems in our relationship--things that I said would just pass on, but that actually went deeper than I was willing to admit. And by accepting on this, I've been able to learn from what happened--so that it hopefully won't happen again. I've grown closer to God. For those of you who aren't Christians, I'm sorry to exclude you, but I have grown in my faith since Dan and I broke up. (For those of you who aren't Christians, also: God really does love you. Really.) For a while there, God was all I had. He'd been there all the time, waiting for me. Sometimes I wonder if I would have ever truly cared about God again if Dan hadn't broken things off. I was missing some really important things, but I didn't want to think about it. I just knew that I had Dan and he was my only priority. Something had to give. And it did. I'll close with this: I am moving on. Of course he has a part of me I'll never get back. Of course we shared something that no one else ever will. But that is true of all relationships. And as a Christian I believe that God has someone out there for me that is a million times more perfectly suited to me than anyone I could pick out on my own. I can't wait to meet him. |