The Responses
So you've written back! I've included samples of letters that I've recieved and replied to them here. Sorry I couldn't include everyone--there's only so far you can go on a single page. Hopefully I'll begin rotating the letters and responding to them periodically. In the meantime, if you would like to write or respond to something I said, go to the contact page.
Comment:
I had been dating this girl Rose for fourteen months when she broke up with me on our fourteen-month anniversary. You see, she told me that the last few months of our relationship had been the most unhappy of her life. But the catch to this is ten months into our relationship I was diagnosed with severe manic-depressive disorder and was withdrawn from school to stay at home and try to get my medication straight. Our fourteenth month anniversary was on the same date as a band concert she was playing in, so I got up that evening and got in my tuxedo, bought fourteen red roses, went up to her, handed them to her and then stood there as she loked me dead in the eyes and said "I don't want to be with you anymore." Needless to say I wound up a bit melancholy and thought I'm never going to make it. And thats been pretty much my only thought since November 9, 1999. And things only seem to be staying at even keel. I am a devout Roman Catholic, so I'm sure God has this in his plans for me, but sometimes I just don't feel the strength to go on, as if Satan has me and for some reason I can't get loose. So If you have any advice or anything that I could hold on to. (I've about digested Psalm 91 from the very pages of my Bible) I'd really appriciate it. I hope things are going well for you, and I pray that things are better in your world.
~B.J.
Comment:
I thought your page was a wonderful way for you to vent. It's good to take negative energy and turn it into something positive. I am currently in a similar situation. I asked my boyfriend of one year if we could try and work
things out. In return, he said he could not do that right now. He stated that he was just confused and needed more time. We continued to talk on the phone. Sometimes the conversations were pleasant and sometimes not. Finally, I got up the nerve to tell him nicely not to call me anymore. I was moving on with my life, and I didn't think it was a good idea to keep in contact. Ever since then he has been calling me everyday, religiously. It's like he actually believed that I would sit here and wait on him, and now that he has found out differently, he's upset about it. Your ex-boyfriend is going to be more comfortable with this situation than you are because he knows that he can go back when he is ready. It's probably a good idea that you don't continue to give that impression. I know it's immature, but you must play games. You have to have a little uncertainty in your relationship to keep the excitement. Anyway, I hope things work out for you, and good luck with your webpage. =)
Terri
Comment:
I enjoyed your story very much, considering I just went through something very similar to yours. But today, being 3 months, since the break up, I can actually step back and see that this rejection and betrayal, is the biggest blessing in my life.. Now a month ago, I would never have been able to say it, but today I can. I have realized that this other person had a lot of insecurity within themselves, in order to be so dishonest with me and himself for the 8 months that we dated. But, I have to find it in my heart to forgive him, because that is what God tells me to do everyday, and the rest I leave in God's hand to deal with, because it's not mine to deal with, nor would I want to deal with it (if you know what I mean). I was questioning myself and God everyday, how could this have happened? What happened to this sweet, loving, kind, gentle human being that I knew for 8 months? But there were red flags all along the relationship from his side and I chose not to see them. I feel sorry for him today, but I am ok today and plan to be so, because I have a Loving Father and Friend whom I rely and depend on totally and who has held me in His arms throughout this entire rejection. Rejection by another fellow being is as simple as being thrown back to God and his angels and for that I am grateful. God is the only, only, one who loves me as I am.
Remeber that.
Take care,
ST
Date: Tuesday, December 14, 1999
Time: 8:16 AM EST
Submitted by: B J
Gender: male
Age: 15-25
Relationship: in an indescribable place
For his is the glory and the honor and the power, forever and ever.
Amen.
Your ex-girlfriend's method of removal is one of the harshest things I've ever heard of. I'm sorry to hear about your depression and hope your medication is all right now. Unfortunately, I really don't know much to say, advice-wise, besides what God has put on my heart: stay faithful to Him, and He will be faithful to you. And I'm not just talking about going to church, reading the Bible, etc.; be faithful in all you do. It's difficult--I find myself crawling out of bed some mornings on two hours of sleep, mumbling, "You better remember, this, God, I'm doing this for YOU! You better be happy about it!" Just remember His plan is beyond our comprehension. I know I sound like a bumper sticker here, but that's about all there is to say. Thanks so much for sharing. I know it can be difficult sometimes.
Date: Sunday, December 26, 1999
Time: 3:58 PM EST
Submitted by: Terri
Gender: female
Age: 15-25
Relationship: on the rebound
Interests: Sense of humour, Commitment, good-looking, Neatness,
Loyalty
Thanks for the compliments, first off. Always appreciate those. :) And thank you for taking time to share your story. I agree it would be nice if I could try to convince Dan somehow that I wouldn't wait for him--but unfortunately he doesn't talk to me, so I really don't know how to go about it without throwing myself at his feet. It's a bit ludicrous--I'd like to make him a little worried, but he doesn't seem to care. Catch-22. I'm glad things have worked out well for you in the "games" department, however--sometimes people do need a little shaking up. Good luck with your future loves. I wish you all happiness.
Date: Wednesday, January 19, 2000
Time: 1:35 PM EST
Submitted by: Sandra
Gender: female
Age: 25-45
Relationship: single with kids
Interests: Sense of humour, Commitment, Same religious beliefs
It's nice to get a perspective after the the initial pain dies down. It sounds like you've made a healthy break from a not-so-great relationship, and I'm happy for you. I'm definitely not at the place where you are, emotionally--but maybe someday I will be. In the meantime, thanks for writing, and I hope you meet someone who will be completely honest from the start.