Henry Gelderloos :

Bass Guitar

There's quite a story behind this guy. We found him behind the McDonalds dumpsters trying on womens spandex pants. It was obvious to us that he probably played the bass guitar. You know, because it's always the weirdos that play bass. Sure enough, he was a natural. Through telepathy and strenuous hours of hitting him on the head with a stick, we we're finally able to break through and teach him how to speek American. It was then that he told us he already learned how to speak American when he was girl scout for the F.B.I. Seeing that he had a profesional background involving top secret apparatus operation, huge banana farming expierience, bow staff skills, and a cool bike with pegs, it was unanimously decided that he should join the band as a tuba player. And thats how he came to be.