The Weirdest Otogi Fanfiction Ever Created (I think)

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-gi-oh or any other trademarked product mentioned in this fic

Note: Author is not responsible for death caused by the corniness, stupid humor and the non existing plot of this fanfiction

Warning: A few suggestive themes now and then, and idiotic main characters

Yet another note: There might be a few tiny crossovers in this fic

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Rebecca: Hey Mokuba! Hey Bonez! Wanna Watch TV?

Mokuba/Bonez: Okay!

*~*~*TV*~*~*

Narrator: One day, Otogi was walking down the street when spotted something on the ground. When he bent down to see what it was, he realized that it was a golden die. Now, Otogi had never seen a golden die before.

Otogi: Wow! I have never seen a golden die before!

Narrator: Um…yes *cough* Anyway, he was confused. Otogi thought that this might mean something, so he sat down on the sidewalk and began to think. Just then, Kaiba walked up to him wearing a pink bunny suit (A/N: don’t ask, please, don’t ask) and said:

Kaiba: Hello Otogi! What are you doing?

Narrator: and Otogi replied:

Otogi: Oh, hello Kaiba! I found this golden die on the street and I was wondering what it means.

Narrator: (I’m tired of writing “Narrator” so I’m just going to use normal dialog)

Kaiba: Hey! I know, let’s go to Isis and Shadi! They should know what this means!

Otogi: Good Idea Kaiba! Let’s go!

So the two bishies went off, hoping to seek the answer they desired so much. Will they get to where they want to? Will they meet any new friends along the way? What is up with Kaiba and the bunny suit? All will be revealed after this commercial break.

*~*~*~*Commercial One*~*~*~*

Eleanor: Hello all you crazed fangirls and authoresses out there! My name is Eleanor and I have come to introduce my newest product--- Bishie in a Can! All you need to do is spray and wait for two minutes for a perfect bishie! *sprays* *Malik comes out*

Malik: Oh crap! *starts running*

Malik fangirls: MALIK! *chase Malik*

Eleanor: ^_^;;; Anyway, you can choose from any anime you want, and any character you want

Call: 1-800-BISHINACAN or email us at bishieinacan@yugioh.com

Guy starts talking really fast: Bishie in a can is trademarked by Crazed Fangirls Inc. and is not liable for any embarrassment caused by people thinking that this product really exists

Eleanor: And now, back to our show!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

So, Kaiba and Otogi went off in search of Isis and Shadi, for they were the only ones who could solve the mystery.

Just then, a puff of pink smoke appeared in front of them and they wondered what it could be.

Kaiba: I wonder what it could be.

Then, the smoke cleared to reveal Bakura and Ryou making out! (hehehe, just kidding) The smoke cleared to reveal Malik wearing an English schoolboy uniform (you know, the one with the shorts, short sleeved shirt, tie, and cap)

Kaiba: Oh, hello Malik!

Malik: Hello! What are you doing?

Otogi: We’re looking for Isis and Shadi to help us find out the meaning of the golden die

Kaiba: Wanna come?

Malik: Well, okay, sure, I have to see Shadi about changing my clothes anyway So, Otogi and Kaiba continued their adventure, this time with Malik by their side. What new challenges await our heroes? Why does Kaiba still have a bunny suit, and why the heck does no one on Yu-gi-oh take bathroom breaks? All these questions and more will be answered after the break!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Yami Bakura: Hello all you mortals out there!

Yami: That’s how you start a commercial?

Yami Bakura: Stuff it Pharaoh!

Yami: Make me!

Yami Bakura: You asked for it! *starts chasing Yami*

Yami: AAAHHH!!!! CRAZY TOMB ROBBER! *runs away*

Elly: ^^;;; Um, due to technical difficulties beyond our control, this commercial will now end!

*Yami Bakura is chasing Yami in the background when screen goes fuzzy*

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Otogi, Kaiba, and now Malik are walking on a path in a forest.

Malik: Hey, have you ever noticed how none of us ever have to take bathroom breaks?

Kaiba/Otogi: No

Malik: Oh, oh well, then I guess it doesn’t matter then

******One Minute of Silence*******

Otogi: Hey, have you ever noticed how none of us ever have to take bathroom breaks?

Kaiba: Hey, that’s a good point Otogi!

Malik: Yes, I wish I’d thought of that!

Just then:

POOF!

And with a puff of blue smoke, Pikachu appeared!

Pikachu: pika?

Malik: Um Pikachu, I think you’re in the wrong show

Pikachu: PI-KA-CHUUUUUU!!! *thunderbolt*

Malik: @_@ owwwww…..

Kaiba: are you okay Malik?

Malik: Ooh, perdy birdies flying around my head

Otogi: Yep, he’s fine, let’s continue our search for Isis and Shadi

Kaiba/Malik: Good idea Otogi!

So the three hot guys continued their epic search for the meaning of the golden die. Now then, I bet you’re all wondering how they knew where to find Isis and Shadi

Rebecca: No, not really

Yes, well *cough* anyway, the truth was, they had no idea where to find Isis and Shadi. So, they just kept walking around the same boulder, eventually wearing a huge trench in the ground. They had gotten about I meter down when Otogi saw something strange.

Otogi: Hey, what’s the green smoke up there?

So Kaiba, Otogi, and Malik climbed out of the trench and up onto the boulder. The green smoke came closer and closer until:

Kaiba: DIE EVIL SMOKE *throws a bean and cheese burrito at the smoke*

Mysterious Person/Thing in smoke: Hey! That hurt!

The smoke cleared to reveal----THE CELTIC GUARDIAN!!!

Celtic: Next time, don’t aim for my ear, okay?

Malik: What are you doing here Celtic Guardian?

Celtic: Well, the crazy authoress wants me to give you something

Malik: What?

Celtic: These! *gives them Yami, Black Magician Girl, and Joey all in chibi form* Well, the best of luck, bye bye! *disappears*

Joey: *looks at Seto* hellwo, are you my mommy?

Kaiba: No, I’m not your mommy

Black Magician Girl (BMG): *looks at Malik* Maa-lick!

Malik: Um, hi?

Yami: *looks at Otogi* Me mad!

Otogi: O_o

Yami: *giggle* Mees want a piggy back ride!

Otogi: O-kay *hoists Yami up onto his back*

Yami: ^_^

BMG: I want make-up!

Malik: okay! Here! Use my eyeliner *holds out bottle*

BMG: Yea! *applies eye liner*

Joey: I’m hungwey WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Kaiba: here, I have one cheese and bean burrito left *hands him the burrito*

Just then, Otogi came up with another excellent idea!

Otogi: I have another excellent idea! Let’s find a map!

Kaiba/Malik: Oh wow Otogi! You’re so smart, no wonder all the girls love you! So they continued with their pointless journey, this time with three chibis by their side. Will our heroes get to Isis and Shadi? Will they meet any new friends? Will we EVER find out why Kaiba is wearing a bunny suit? All will be revealed after this commercial

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Elly: hello! Have you ever had writer’s block?

*crickets chirp*

Elly: well not anymore! Introducing……Muse in a can!!!!

Ryou: Great Scott! Not another one!

Elly: Yes, it’s true, Muse in a can works instantly *sprays*

*A little green-eyed black ball with red bat wings and fire for a tail appears*

Elly: and vuala! Meet Pyro Star!

Random Dude: Muse in a can and Pyro Star are copyrights of Elly’s demented mind and are not to be reproduced without written permission

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Malik: LOOK!

Kaiba: what is it?

Malik: it’s a map!

Otogi: what kind?

Malik: it’s a map to Isis and Shadi’s castle!

*Rustling in the bushes*

Kaiba: *squeals like a girl* EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!! *jumps into Malik’s arms*

BMG: heheheheee!!! *claps hands*

Marik/Bakura: *jump out of bushes* LET GO OF OUR MAP!

Malik: Marik? Bakura? Why are you hear?

Bakura: The insane authoress put us in here because she’s a crazed fangirl

Otogi: what are you wearing?

Bakura: *wearing tight leather pants, chains, leather boots, and a tight muscle shirt* She’s a crazed fangirl, remember?

Otogi: Oh, is that why I’m wearing tight jeans and a half shirt?

Bakura: *nods*

Otogi: Or why Marik is wearing nothing but pands and boots?

Marik: yep

Kaiba: I know! How about you guys come with us!

Marik/Bakura: okay

So the five EXTREMELY hot bishies and the adorable chibis continued their epic quest to find Isis and Shadi’s castle.

Otogi: look at THAT!

Yami: Ooh, shiny palace!

Joey: can I eat it?

BMG: *giggle*

Malik: THAT’S their castle?

Bakura: *stares up at a giant pink and beige palace with little fountains all over the place* It would appear that way

Marik: THIS IS ON HELL OF A MANSION!!!

BMG: *points finger at Marik* Mr. Pointy Hair said a bad word!

Malik: *hits Marik upside the head* Bad Yami! Don’t sweararound the chibis!

Mahaado (BM in ancient Egypt): *appears at door* May I help you?

Otogi: yes, we’re hear to see Isis and Shadi

Mahaado: Okay then, follow me *leads them to a giant room*

Isis/Shadi: *sitting on thrones*

Isis: My millennium necklace tells me that you have come far

Shadi: Cummon Ise, enough with the destiny junk *turns to Malik, Marik, Otogi, Kaiba, Bakura, Joey, Yami, and BMG* what do you want?

Otogi: *holds up golden die* I’ve come to find out the meaning of this golden die

Malik: I’ve come to get different clothes

Kaiba: I’ve come here to find out why I’m wearing a bunny suit

BMG/Yami/Joey: we’ve come here to be turned back to normal

Marik/Bakura: and we’re here because we just tagged along

Isis: okay then *casts a spell*

BMG/Yami/Joey: *turn back to normal* what a relief!

Malik: *is now wearing his normal clothes* YEA!

Kaiba: what about me?

Shadi: Kaiba, you are dressed in a bunny suit because one of the authoress’s friends thought it would be funny

Kaiba: T_T oh

Otogi: and…..what about this golden die?

Isis: hmmmmm, Otogi, put water on it

Otogi: okay *puts water on die*

*Puff of blue smoke*

Honda: *comes out of smoke* Why, hello Otogi

Otogi: HONDA! *jumps in Honda’s arms*

Honda/Otogi: *make out*

Bakura/Marik: what about us?

Shadi: For you, 100lbs of pot!

Bakura/Marik: ALRIGHT!

So Kaiba went back to his company, still in the bunny suit, BMG, Joey, and Yami each went their separate ways, Malik went back to Egypt to tell Rishid about his adventure, Marik and Bakura became potheads, and Honda and Otogi got married and everyone lived happily ever after

The End

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Rebecca/Bonez/Mokuba: *blink* *blink*

Mokuba: well, that was odd

Bonez: tell me about it

Rebecca: well, I should get going, bye!

Bonez/Mokuba: BYE!

THE END!