Summary: A broken Slayer befriends Clem as she starts spending more and more time at Spike’s crypt after the bleach blonde flees to Africa. Then Spike returns with dire news and the Slayer’s world is turned upside down once more.

Spoilers: Set post “Grave”

Rating: PG-13

Author’s Notes: None

Distribution: If ya want it, take it, just give me credit… And, if ya could, let me know where it’s going.

Feedback: You can send it to brock3005@aol.com or otownfan1520@yahoo.com.

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“So, exactly how are we gonna do this?” He was nervous, and he knew she could see it. They were on their way to the Magick Box. This wasn’t going to be easy… Seeing everyone again after all that had happened? He wasn’t sure how they were going to react. Or rather how Giles and Xander would react… Especially Xander…

“We show up and hope you don’t get staked?” she joked brightly. When he shot her a look that informed her he didn’t appreciate her attempt at humor, she wrapped an arm around his waist and rested her head on his shoulder. “It’s alright… I’ll make sure nobody freaks. Besides, I don’t think anybody would… Except maybe Xander. I mean, Giles wasn’t exactly thrilled when he got the whole story, but he knows how much I’ve missed you and he accepts it. Anya… Well, Anya’s Anya. She likes you and all, so she’s not gonna kill ya… Will always liked you. Although, I doubt she’ll be there, considering the circumstances. And as for Dawn… She’ll be thrilled. Think she missed you more than I did, actually. You mean a lot to her, ya know?”

“I missed her, too.” he replied, draping an arm over her shoulder. “Wish I coulda said goodbye… But after everything… I thought it’d work out better if I just left.”

“Why did you go exactly? I mean I get why you left… But when you went to Africa… Did you intend on getting your soul back? Or did it just kinda happen?”

He took a deep breath. How was he supposed to answer that question? He hadn’t exactly gone to Africa to get himself a soul… It had been to get rid of the chip. To show her that she didn’t have as much power over him as she believed she did. At least that’s what he had convinced himself of. Fact was, he had gone looking for a soul… Or something similar anyway. In the back of his mind, he’d always known what he truly wanted… Some chance to make her happy. If he had really wanted the chip out, he would have said the words flat out. But he didn’t. Instead, he’d asked the demon to make him what he was, so Buffy could get what she deserved. That hadn’t exactly been specific, and he knew damn well that demons had an uncanny ability to twist a person’s words until they mean the exact opposite of what they’re actually asking for.

“Kind of both, actually…” he replied thoughtfully. She looked up at him confused, and he smiled a bit. “I’m not exactly sure why I went. I think half of me wanted the chip out… And the stronger half wanted my soul back.”

She nodded. “I get that… I think if I were you, most of me would’ve wanted the chip out.”

“Chip is out, though.” He’d almost forgotten to tell her about that. There’d been so much going through his mind that fact had seemed almost irrelevant. He hadn’t had the urge to kill since… Well, long before the chip had come out, in fact. The bloodlust he’d felt towards humans had disappeared long ago… About the time he’d fallen in love with Buffy, if he was completely honest with himself. She’d tamed his demon… Brought out the man hidden behind the monster.

“What do you mean?”

She was curious, but she didn’t tense at the news… That was a plus. He’d been so sure she would have been at least a little wary of the fact once he’d told her… But she didn’t seem to be thrown in the slightest. Maybe she really did trust him more than he’d initially thought.

He shrugged a bit. “I told you how powerful the magicks were that this demon used to restore my soul… Magick that powerful doesn’t exactly mix well with technology… I’m probably lucky it didn’t zap me into another dimension or somethin’ like that. Wouldn’t have surprised me.”

“So the magick neutralized the effects of the chip?”

“Yeah… I would’ve told you sooner, but it kinda slipped my mind. Not really one of the more important matters we’ve gotta deal with, ya know? Haven’t been killing. Don’t plan on starting.”

“No big…” She dismissed it immediately, waving it off as though it were nothing… Which it really wasn’t. She knew he was telling her the truth. The guy was a terrible liar… Well, it wasn’t really that he was a terrible liar. More like she just knew what she was looking for. It was all about the eyes when it came to Spike. All she had to do was read the emotion in those eyes. If he was lying to her, she’d know it immediately… She always did. “Not like it’s really all that important… I mean, it is, but we’ve kinda got some kind of apocalyptically bad evil on our hands and so, ya know, the whole no chip thing kinda pales in comparison.”

“Yeah, it really does, doesn’t it?”

“Yep… So, you ready for this?”

They’d made it to the Magick Box. Everyone else was already inside waiting for Buffy. Once they’d left his crypt, they’d found a payphone and called in the gang. It was late… Very late. Almost 4:30 in the morning to be exact. They hadn’t been happy about the call, but she’d figured the situation was a bit too urgent to wait till the sun was up. Besides, sun and Spike didn’t exactly mix… Though that had never stopped him before… She also hadn’t mentioned Spike’s return. Both of them had thought it better to get everyone there first. There was no telling who would’ve decided to skip the meeting were she to bring him up. Well, okay, so Xander was the only one they would have been risking, but at the moment, Xander was a crucial member of the team… They needed everyone they could get at this point.

“I dunno… Who’s gonna be in there?”

He looked nervous… Very nervous. In all honesty, she couldn’t really blame him. It must have taken a lot of courage for him to agree to come with her to the Magick Box. And yet, he’d been by her side immediately… Just like he always was. Whenever she needed him, he was there… And he always would be.

“Probably everybody but Willow. Usually Dawn wouldn’t be there, but she’s been really into the research lately. She likes to help out… Makes her feel useful. If she heard the phone ring, you can be sure she’s in there ‘cause, ya know, who else would be calling at 4:30 in the morning?”

He nodded, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. “Right then… Let’s get this over with, shall we?”

Buffy took it upon herself to take the first step… Opening the door and stepping through. It’d be harder for someone to shove a stake through his heart if she were standing in front of him. She knew well enough that he could hold his own… But she also knew that he wouldn’t defend himself against her friends. He felt guilty enough… He wasn’t about to add to that by putting Xander in the hospital.

The second she felt him move to stand behind her, she reached for his hand; pulling him closer to her in a protective manner. She could feel their eyes on him… Everyone was shocked. They certainly hadn’t expected to see him there. There was complete silence. Anya and Giles both looked surprised, while Dawn looked as though she was about to burst with happiness… And then there was Xander… Who just looked pissed off.

It was Xander who broke the silence. “What the hell is he doing here?!”