Summary: A broken Slayer befriends Clem as she starts spending more and more time at Spike’s crypt after the bleach blonde flees to Africa. Then Spike returns with dire news and the Slayer’s world is turned upside down once more.

Spoilers: Set post “Grave”

Rating: PG-13

Author’s Notes: None

Distribution: If ya want it, take it, just give me credit… And, if ya could, let me know where it’s going.

Feedback: You can send it to brock3005@aol.com or otownfan1520@yahoo.com.

~*~*~*~

Buffy sighed slightly, still in Spike’s arms, as she traced random patterns on the material of his black t-shirt. They’d been standing there together for quite awhile, and she knew damn well that they really needed to get going… But she didn’t want to. She liked being exactly where she was, and she hated to think it would eventually be necessary to break the contact. This was where she wanted to stay for the rest of her life… Right here beside Spike. In his arms… Where she belonged. He was the only man she had ever truly loved and, as wrong as the rest of the world believed it to be, there was no way anything that was so wrong could feel so right. She needed him to be whole… He completed her. Made her the person she’d always wanted to be.

Sighing again, this time heavily, she raised her eyes to meet with his. “We gotta leave, don’t we?”

He smiled lovingly at the reluctance he saw written across her features. She was so beautiful… For a moment, he was lost in her. He loved her so much, there were no words that could ever do it justice. He needed her, and now he had her… And he was never going to let her go. Ever.

After a moment, upon realizing he had never answered her question, he let out a sigh of his own. “Guess so…” His reply was just as reluctant as her question had been… They’d both been far too comfortable in the embrace for the thought of breaking it to even cross their minds... But then reality had sunk in, and they both knew they needed to get a move on, no matter how badly they wanted to put off the inevitable.

Moving away from him just slightly, she hooked an arm through his and nestled her head against his shoulder as they began to walk once more, in the direction of the Magick Box. For a long time, they stayed that way… Locked in the comfortable silence created by the two of them. After awhile, though, Spike’s mind wandered and he knew he couldn’t really hold off from asking her any longer. It was driving him crazy… There was something going on with her, and he needed to know what was up. When he’d first gotten to the house, he’d noticed how fatigued she was still looking, and her eyes had been slightly swollen and bloodshot. Seeing her that way scared him… He didn’t know what was wrong with her, and he needed to.

“Buffy?” he questioned quietly… So quietly, in fact, that she hardly picked it up at all.

Glancing up at him, smile firmly in place, she raised her eyebrows slightly in question. “Yeah?”

“What’s wrong?”

The question obviously had her confused. What was he talking about? There was nothing wrong… Nothing had been wrong since she’d woken up with him by her side the night before. Why would he think there was something wrong? “Huh? Spike, nothing’s wrong. Everything’s… Amazing. I mean, you’re finally home, Dawn’s speaking to me again, Willow’s almost back to normal, Giles stuck around… There’s absolutely nothing wrong.” When the words left her mouth, she truly believed them. Since she’d been with him, her dream hadn’t even crossed her mind. And she had no idea that that was what he had been referring to… So, instead of explaining, she gave him yet another quizzical look and waited patiently for his reply.

“That’s what I thought…” His tone was slightly relieved, but he wasn’t satisfied with her answer… Just glad that, for the most part, everything was as it should be. “But there is something, Pet… I can see it. You were crying before I came to pick you up tonight and you haven’t been sleeping right either… So what is it?”

For a moment, she was confused; still unsure of what exactly he was talking about. Then her eyes widen slightly as realization struck her. “You noticed the crying?” It was an attempt to change the subject, and they both knew it. Really, it wasn’t so much that she didn’t want to share it with him… More that she was afraid. What would it mean, were she to tell him? If she told him, would it make it all reality? Did it matter? Would it become reality anyway?

“Of course I noticed…” His eyes locked with hers as he said the words; his voice so soft she wasn’t completely sure she’d heard him correctly… But with one look into those amazing blue eyes, and she knew exactly what had fallen from his lips. After a moment, he glanced back down at the ground; suddenly focusing on an invisible source near his feet. “I hate it when you cry… Have for a long time now. Don’t like seein’ you in pain, is all. Never really have to be honest… Please, Buffy… Just tell me what’s been botherin’ you…”

This time, when his eyes found their way back to meet with hers, they were pleading with her to be honest when she gave him an answer… And she melted. She knew damn well she would never again be capable of lying to him… Had she ever really been able to in the first place? She didn’t know, and it didn’t matter. Right now, he needed to know and she needed to tell him…

Sighing a bit, she glanced up at him. “I’ve been having dreams… nightmares, really… that deal with you and me. They started awhile ago… The first night I spent over at your crypt. Since then it’s been an all night, every night type of thing. Except for last night, when you were with me, anyway. Only person I told was Clem. And, just a few hours ago, Dawn. It’s just kinda scary… Ya know, ’cause of the whole Slayer thing… My dreams aren’t always just dreams. They just freak me out a little.”

“What happens?”

His concern was obvious, and it made her smile. He was so sweet sometimes… But she wasn’t sure whether or not she was ready to tell him the whole story… It wasn’t that she was trying to hide it from him… More that she didn’t so much feel up to breaking down into another one of her crying fits in those moments. “Can I tell ya later?” Her eyes were pleading with him not to take it the wrong way, and she prayed he saw it there. She didn’t want to hurt him any more than she already had.

His smile was gentle and reassuring. He knew her, and he knew she wasn’t going to keep it from him. But she wasn’t ready. And he understood completely. If she needed more time, he wasn’t going to push her. There weren’t many things he was willing to wait patiently for, but Buffy was one of them. Possibly the only one, in fact.

Moving an arm to wrap around her, he pulled her closer to him; his cheek resting against her soft blonde hair. “It can wait.”

“You’re sure?” she questioned, wrapping herself around him again, a clear ‘thank you’ written in her beautiful hazel eyes. When he nodded, a soft smile crossed her lips, and they finished the Walk to the Magick Box in a comfortable silence.