Disclaimer:
It’s not mine… Well, the story is, but the characters aren’t…
Distribution: If ya want it, take it, just give me credit… And, if ya could, let me know where it’s going.
Feedback: You can send it to brock3005@aol.com or otownfan1520@yahoo.com.
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Chapter 18:
“I don’t care anymore.” she told him out of the blue, as they neared her house.
He gave her a quizzical look; brow furrowed, eyes questioning. “Care about what, Love?”
“About Xander… You were wondering.” she turned to look at him then, smile firmly in place.
“I didn’t say…”
She cut him off with a wave of her hand. “You didn’t have to. You were thinking about it. I could feel it…”
Stepping a bit closer to her, he took her hands in his; a slight grin forming on his lips. “Alright, you caught me… I was thinking about it. I just… I don’t want you lose anyone important to you… Not because of me…”
“Spike, you are important to me. I need you more than I’ve ever needed anyone. And I just don’t care anymore. If they’re going to make a big deal out of this, you and me, then that’s their problem. What they think of us means nothing. I’m through hiding. I’m through sneaking around. Right here, right now, you’re everything to me… And something inside’s telling me that you always will be. Now, whether or not that’s true, I can’t ignore it. I won’t. Not anymore… Not again. I need you, and I’m not letting you go. It just doesn’t matter what they think anymore… I need you.”
When she let the last few words slip out, they were nothing more than an adoring whisper. His smile had grown a million times over, and his eyes were clouded with unshed tears. Gently, her hand cupped his cheek, as her thumb lightly caressed his skin. In those moments, he looked so vulnerable… So human. And as the thought drifted through her mind, she felt her own eyes stinging with tears while she smiled up at him. But those tears they had not yet allowed to fall were only those of joy. Neither of them could’ve been happier than they were at that very moment, as they stared into one another’s eyes.
It was perfect… This was the moment she’d been waiting for since the second she’d realized that he was truly back. But should she? Could she? She wanted to… Really, she did. But she just couldn’t. Not yet. ‘Soon.’ she told herself. ‘Soon.’
Then, the rain began to fall steadily and she silently thanked the heavens for the sudden distraction. Her mind registered the fact as an easy change of subject, and she jumped at the chance. It wasn’t so much that she wanted to break the moment… But she was still afraid. How far would she let this go? How far would he go? How far would she want to go? She wasn’t ready for that yet… Was she?
“We should probably be gettin’ back inside.” she informed him quietly, her mind not really on the subject… They were standing close now. Too close for comfort, in fact. The rain poured down around them; soaking them both from head to toe. And there were only centimeters between them. Her gaze was focused in on his lips, and she knew he had noticed. At that moment, all she wanted was him… To be with him again. To be close to him… The way they once had been. But it was too soon. This time she wanted more than just sex. This time she wanted him. All of him. Man, demon… All of him. It wasn’t the right time. It was too soon… They couldn’t jump into anything so soon. Not yet… But she wanted to so badly.
“Right… Inside…” His voice had taken on a low, husky tone; his words a murmured whisper. She could see the desire written clearly in his eyes. He wanted her just as badly as she wanted him.
And then, his arms were hooked around her waist, pulling her to him; crushing her body to his, as his lips claimed hers in the first real kiss they had shared since he’d been back. Delicately, his mouth moved over hers; tasting, nibbling…
This time the kiss was slow and leisurely. There was still that hunger of passion hidden beneath it, but this time there was no need to rush. She wasn’t going anywhere and neither was he… They had all the time in the world, and they both planned on making the most of it.
When she moaned softly into him, he took full advantage and his tongue dove inside to meet with hers, deepening the kiss, though it remained sweet and sensual rather than turning desperate and hungry. Slowly her arms snaked up around his neck to pull him closer, though not before making a slight exploration of the strong muscles hidden by the black t-shirt he was wearing.
After some time, though, her hazed mind registered that this was definitely bad… Figuratively speaking, anyway. Were they to keep this up, she had no clue how far she would allow them to go… And yet, at the same time, her body screamed that she needed him. That this wasn’t wrong. That it could never be wrong… And it couldn’t. That much she knew. But at the same time, she knew that there was no need to rush.
Slowly, she pulled away; resting her forehead against his as she gasped for breath. Her eyes remained closed as she did her best to gather her senses as her thumb went back to drawing slow, soothing patterns on his cheek.
“I’m sorry…” he mumbled quietly into her hair as his fingers caressed the small of her back. “It’s just…”
He trailed of, unsure, and she smiled lightly. Leaning up a bit, she brushed her lips across his once more in a sweet, gentle, lingering kiss. “It’s perfectly alright…” she murmured lazily, her head dropping to rest on his chest this time; her fingers playing with the soaked material of his shirt. It was at that moment that she remembered the rain. “We really should be getting inside…”
“Right… Of course.”
He looked confused; disoriented. It almost made her laugh out loud. “Come on…” she said, clasping his hand tightly in hers and pulling him with her toward the door.
Once they were inside, she immediately headed for her bedroom and he followed at her prompting. Apparently, while he’d been gone, she’d moved into Joyce’s old room… And done a little redecorating.
After she had disappeared into the bathroom to grab them some towels, he glanced around curiously; taking in all the changes that had been made to the room. The colors were different… All different shades of blue covered the room, from dark midnights to light pastels. The carpet was the darkest of the colors he could see. It was perfectly matched to that of the curtains, while the blinds that covered the windows were a light shade, as were the walls. The bedspread was made of a silky navy satin, the throw pillows that decorated it made of the same satiny material; each one of them a different blue. The furniture was different as well, the bed frame and the dresser both made of a stunning cherry oak.
“Love what you’ve done with the place.” he commented appreciatively as he continued to absorb his surroundings. Candles littered the dresser, the bedside stand… Every flat area in the room. All blue. Some scented blueberry, some ocean breeze… But all blue. It was calming… Serene.
“Thanks.” she replied as she exited the bathroom and moved to hand him a towel.
When he saw her there, standing before him, he could do nothing mare than stare… She was so beautiful. A small smile played on her lips as she watched him, her head tilting curiously to the side as she wondered exactly what he was thinking as his gaze washed over her. She had changed into a tight black tank top and a pair of short, light blue boxers. She was truly a vision.
‘So beautiful…’ he thought to himself as he unconsciously moved closer to her; his hands moving to her hips.
As she stared into his eyes, she knew it was no use… There would be no more fighting it. She wanted him. She needed him. She loved him. And tonight she would tell him.
As his lips met hers once again, the towel slipped from her hand and her arms moved to lock around his neck; her fingers entwining at the nape and holding him to her as their passion grew. She loved him so much… She had missed him like crazy… But now he was back, and they were together. Forever.
“Buffy…” he murmured when they finally pulled apart, a silent question plaguing his tone. He needed to know that she was sure about this. That she really wanted it… That she wasn’t going to walk away in the morning.
“I’m sure…” she whispered breathlessly, her eyes never once leaving his. “Make love to me, Spike…”
When he heard the words, his gasp was audible. His eyes filled with tears once more, and for a moment he could do nothing more than stare at her, wide-eyed. Shock, amazement, love… Every emotion known to man filtered through his eyes at that moment, and he wore that same expression he’d worn the first night they’d been together. After she’d kissed him that first time… when he had allowed himself to be tortured at the hands of Glory for nothing more than to keep her family safe. The night she had re-invited him that night they had faced Glory for the last time. And the same look he’d had the night he had seen standing at the top of the stairs… Alive.
“Do you have any idea what you’re giving me… Right here; right now… Do you have any idea how much this means to me…?”
“I do…” she whispered, her eyes shining with her own tears. “I’m giving you my heart… My soul. I love you, Spike… I love you.”