Disclaimer:
It’s not mine… Well, the story is, but the characters aren’t…
Distribution: If ya want it, take it, just give me credit… And, if ya could, let me know where it’s going.
Feedback: You can send it to brock3005@aol.com or otownfan1520@yahoo.com.
~*~*~*~
Chapter 19:
Slowly, Buffy awoke to the feel of Spike’s strong arms wrapped around her; her head resting on his chest as he held her close. His arms were locked tightly around her, as though if he let go for even the slightest moment, it would all become a dream and she would disappear. And she knew that truly was his biggest fear. Not once, even when they were together all those months ago, had he allowed himself to believe that she would ever love him… That she would ever allow him to get this close to her. But she had, and she hoped he knew that without a doubt. He held her heart in his hands… She loved him so much.
Shifting slightly, she brought her hand up to stroke his hair lovingly. For a few moments, she studied his face; memorizing every detail. He truly was beautiful. His sharp features so well-defined. In sleep, he looked so innocent… So pure. She loved watching him sleep. She always had. When she was lying beside him, he was always so peaceful. As though Heaven was just within reach. It was when she moved from his embrace that he would get restless. He’d always been that way. When she was there, he was fine, but when she crawled out of bed, he would toss and turn. Before, that had always been part of her reason for leaving immediately after they’d been together, rather than waiting for sleep to take over… She had hated leaving in the middle of the night and having to see him that way… So terribly discontent without her there beside him. It broke her heart…
“Mornin’, Love…” he murmured lazily as he awoke to the feel of her fingers playing in his hair. Eyes still closed, he pulled her closer to him and she snuggled against him, her arms wrapping around his neck; legs lacing with his.
“Morning? More like noon, honey.” she teased lightly.
“Guess we should probably be gettin’ up then, huh?”
“What? No! I didn’t mean it that way.” she argued, completely unwilling to drag herself away from their warm, cozy bed.
“And what’re we gonna say if the Nibblet walks in and sees us like this?” Spike countered mockingly, his eyebrows raised in question.
“Uh… ‘Get out’ seems appropriate.”
“Right then… Just thought we should clear that up…”
She giggled lightly before brushing her lips against his in a quick, chaste kiss. “Knew you’d see things my way.” she mumbled as she kissed him once more. This time, though, he deepened it; their passion growing with each passing moment.
“Buffy!” When the door swung open and Dawn bolted into the room, both Buffy and Spike groaned and pulled apart before looking questioningly at the younger Summers.
“Don’t you knock?” Buffy asked, giving her sister a glare.
“Oh, get over it.” Dawn rolled her eyes. “Don’t think the visual’s gonna scar me too much… Not any more than what I heard last night anyway.”
“What you heard? What do you mean, what you heard?”
“Buffy, honestly, what do you think I am, deaf? God, Angel probably heard you guys in LA…”
“To the point…” Buffy prompted, staring expectantly at the younger girl.
“Well, I just thought I’d remind you that I’m having friends over today… Ya know, just in case you guys wanted to keep it down or something…”
“Hold on, friends? Don’t you have school today?”
“It’s a half day… Remember? That’s why you don’t have to work…” Dawn reminded her.
“I thought I didn’t have to work ‘cause I’ve got this week off. You know I’m only there every other week.”
“Well, okay, that too… But we do have a half day, and you told me I could have some people over. It’s for that group project we’ve gotta do for English.”
“Right… We’ll be down in a few.” Buffy assured her, unenthusiastically.
“Nah, it’s alright.” Dawn smiled brightly. “You guys take your time… We can take care of ourselves for awhile. I promise we won’t destroy anything.” With that, Dawn was out the door and down the stairs, not even waiting for a reply.
“Why do I not believe that?” she questioned, turning to Spike for an answer.
He chuckled before pulling her back into his arms and kissing her deeply. “Love you…”
She smiled lightly. “Love you, too, baby.” she murmured against his lips before succumbing to his charms without another thought…
~*~*~*~
“What the hell is she thinking!” Xander exclaimed as he paced the floor.
For the past hour, Willow had been sitting in her apartment watching Xander pace back and forth, while she listened to him vent… And she was getting more than a little tired of it. She loved Xander with all of her heart. Really, she did. But it was staring to grate on her last nerve. Was he blind, or just incredibly stupid? Where exactly had he been for the past three months or so? Without Spike, Buffy just hadn’t been herself. She been depressed, distracted, and just generally unhappy. Anyone with half a brain could see that she was completely, head-over-heels in love with the man… But apparently, Xander didn’t have that much. He’d been living in the land of denial for far too long, and it was time someone set him straight…
“Xander, she knows what she’s doing… She’s in love with him.” Willow argued.
“No, Will, she’s not… She can’t be…”
“And why not?” she argued, her voice raising slightly. “Because you don’t want her to be? Xander, I know you’re just trying to look out for her, but she doesn’t need you telling her how to live her life. She’s quite capable of making her own decisions… And for her, Spike’s a good one. Maybe you don’t think so, but she does… He makes her happy, Xander. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her incredibly in love. Just the look in her eyes said it all. You may not like it but that’s the way it is… It’s not fair for you to make her choose between one of her best friends and the love of her life. She deserves better from you…”
“He tried to rape her, Willow!!! How the hell can he be good for her?!” He was shouting now, and he knew it… Really, he hadn’t meant to yell… It had just come out that way.
“Okay, yes, he did.” she replied slowly. “I know that, and I understand what you’re saying… But at the same time, after it happened, he was crushed. Completely. He knew how wrong he was, and so he went and got his soul back. Do you have any idea what kind of hell he must’ve gone through to do that? And it was all for Buffy… Because he loves her that much. He would die for her in a second. Give his own life to keep her safe.”
“That’s not enough! What he did should never be forgiven! He tried to rape her!!!”
“And I tried to kill her!” Willow replied angrily, her eyes swimming with tears at the memory.
Xander stopped short, and turned to look at her; not understanding the connection. “What does that have to do with anything?” This time his question was quiet; curious… He didn’t understand, but somehow he got the feeling she was right.
“I tried to kill her.” her voice was quiet now; filled with raw sadness. “And Dawn. And you…” she sighed as a single tear escaped the corner of her eye. “And I tried to destroy the entire goddamn world. After that, didn’t you welcome me back with open arms? Ready to help. No questions asked. You welcomed me back, and what I did was so much worse than what Spike did. And yet, you welcomed me back. Why doesn’t he deserve that? He loves her, Xander… He loves her, and she loves him. You don’t have to like it… But if you don’t wanna lose her, you have to accept it. Just accept it.”