Summary: A broken Slayer befriends Clem as she starts spending more and more time at Spike’s crypt after the bleach blonde flees to Africa. Then Spike returns with dire news and the Slayer’s world is turned upside down once more.

Spoilers: Set post “Grave”

Rating: PG-13

Distribution: If ya want it, take it, just give me credit… And, if ya could, let me know where it’s going.

Feedback: You can send it to brock3005@aol.com or otownfan1520@yahoo.com.

~*~*~*~

Spike slowly wandered through the all too familiar cemetery. He was on his way back. It had taken a lot of courage for the vampire to drag himself out of Africa and back to the dreaded hellmouth. Would he be able to face her? Considering how he had left things, he’d probably be lucky if she didn’t finally put a stake in him. He was sure she must hate him now… But he had to at least try. There was something coming for her. Something dangerous. Something he wasn’t sure she could fight… Not alone. And it was his fault it was here… Nothing came without consequences. Especially when dealing with demons. He should’ve know that in the first place. Hell, he’d been the one to prove exactly that to the woman he loved.

So now he was back, praying that when he saw her again, she would at least let him warn her before she gave him the staking he deserved. He would die for her in a second. Give his life to ensure the safety of his love. He hoped she knew that. He wasn’t expecting forgiveness after what he had done. But he wanted some sort of chance to begin making it up to her… What would it be like, seeing her again? Did she miss him? Could she? No… There was no way. She’d probably been thrilled when he’d finally gone. One less thing to worry about. And he couldn’t blame her if she felt that way.

Still, as he crept closer and closer to his crypt, he could feel her. With each step he took toward his home, the feeling continued to grow. He knew it was probably nothing more than his own wishful thinking. Why would she be there? She wouldn’t…

~*~*~*~

Once again, Buffy had curled herself up on top of the sarcophagus in Spike’s crypt. The lower level, including the bed, was still a bit charred. Actually, she didn’t mind much. Truth be told she was more comfortable where she was, as strange as it might sound. This was the last place they had been together… It held a sort of comfort for her.

Now, she slept here more often than she would like to admit. She and Clem had worked it out. Basically, she stayed there at night, while Clem took over the place by day. Worked out well actually, considering demons didn’t tend to hang out in the daylight. The two of them had become friends since she’d started coming around. They talked a lot… Sometimes about nothing. Most of the time, about her relationship with Spike. She could share things with him she couldn’t tell the others. None of them would’ve understood… They’d never really liked Spike. Except Dawn, of course, but she wasn’t really talking much lately. At least not to Buffy. During the summer, when she’d been gone, it had seemed at first that they had all been getting along with him. And then she was back and they acted exactly the way they had before… And they certainly didn’t seem grateful for his help. Now, with everything… She just didn’t need to hear the snide comments. Especially considering they all knew what Spike had tried to do to her. They’d be pissed if they knew she had already forgiven him. So instead, she talked to Clem… And it helped. A lot.

Ever since she’d started staying here, she’d been having those dreams… The ones of Spike and the two little girls. It seemed every night they would end slightly different… But he never survived. In fact, they were getting worse. She’d awoken in tears more times than she could count.

She missed him. She was broken without him. Her heart shattered. Hell, she cried herself to sleep almost every night now… This night was no different.

~*~*~*~

Carefully, he pushed open the door to his crypt. He could still feel her… Everywhere. For a brief moment, he wondered if maybe there was some hope left for the two of them. It seemed as though she been here recently… But it was probably nothing more than that tiny sliver of hope he’d somehow managed to hold onto. And again, the girl proved him wrong…

There she was, curled into a tight ball; wrapped in the sheets still covering the sarcophagus. She looked as though she had cried herself to sleep. Her cheeks were tears streaked… His old pillow soaked with those tears. Even in sleep, she looked restless. She was beautiful, plain and simple. As he stood, entranced by the tiny Slayer lying in what had once been his bed, he wondered why she was there. Was it possible that she missed him? Was that too much to hope for? Probably… But that didn’t stop him…

Then, suddenly, he realized exactly what she would do were she to find him standing over her this way… It would lead to a definite staking. So, finally thinking better of what he was doing, he turned to leave. He couldn’t be there when she woke up. He wasn’t sure he would be capable of dealing with that at this point. Even as he stood at the opposite side of the room, he felt as though he was too close … Violating her somehow. He had come here to warn her, but there were other ways. He could go to Willow, or maybe Anya… Hell, even Dawn could handle this. But he couldn’t… He couldn’t deal with the hatred she would show him after everything he’d done.

Stepping toward the door and quietly pulling it open, he made a move to leave the crypt… And then he heard it. She whimpered his name, the sound a frantic, pained whisper. When he turned back to question, he saw the tears falling from her eyes. Desperate sobs and incoherent words falling from her trembling lips. She looked terrified. And he couldn’t take it.

Moving to her side, he reached out a tentative hand to brush her soft blond hair from her eyes. “Buffy, Love?” he questioned quietly, trying his best not to startle her. “Buffy, wake up, Pet.”

It was no use. She wasn’t waking up. What had her in such a panic, he couldn’t even imagine… But whatever it was, he couldn’t take it. He never could handle it when she cried. The last time he had seen her this way, he’d gone looking for her with homicidal intentions. And when she’d looked up at him, tears staining her cheeks, he’d melted… Instead of killing her, he’d ended up sitting by her side, trying his best to comfort the scared little girl she tried so desperately to hide. Now was no different. He loved her, and he wanted so badly to take away her pain.

Reaching out, he gently rubbed her shoulder, whispering her name as he tried his best to get her attention… To pull her out of whatever sleep induced vision was causing all her terror. And yet, no matter what he did, she didn’t respond, but rather stayed lost in the dream. Slipping into a sitting position beside her, he gently stroked her hair as his other hand moved to wipe away her tears. It was at that moment that she decided to grab hold of him, pulling him down beside her and clinging to him desperately. She buried her face in his chest, and continued sobbing, her tears flowing even more vigorously than before. How could she still be sleeping through all of this?

For a moment, he attempted to slip from beside her, but with each move he made, he felt her arms tighten around him; locking him securely in place. Finally he just gave in, stroking her hair softly as he murmured soothing words to the beautiful blond Slayer in his arms. He knew he shouldn’t be doing it… But he couldn’t stand seeing her this way. There was no way he could let her be alone now. So instead he simply held her. If he was going to die tomorrow, he was damn sure gonna die a happy man… With her beside him…