Disclaimer: It’s not mine… Well, the story is, but the characters aren’t…

Summary: Okay, this one's a little difficult to summarize, so bear with me... Somehow Spike was turned human. He's killed before anybody realizes it. Buffy... Well, if ya wanna know what happens to Buffy, you'll have to read... I'm not gonna give it *all* away...

Spoilers: None, really...

Rating: PG-13

Author’s Notes: I know there’s not really much to this chapter… I really don’t like the way it turned out. I had to rewrite the entire second half ‘cause originally I had written in another Slayer, but that took way too much explaining and I figured it’d be easier to just cut her out… But then I was a little pressed for time while I was writing it, and the part I had to rewrite turned out crappy… Oh well…

Distribution: If ya want it, take it, just give me credit… And, if ya could, let me know where it’s going.

Feedback: You can send it to brock3005@aol.com or otownfan1520@yahoo.com.


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Chapter 1:



It had been nearly eight months since she’d found out for sure. At the time, she’d been lucky she hadn’t already lost the child… Super powers or not, she was still human and carrying a child for two full months without knowing it, while on full time slayer duty? A lethal combination. Now, the baby was just a few days over a month old. It was a boy… A beautiful baby boy… William.

His resemblance to his father was striking… Almost unbearable for her. He was theirs, both of theirs. So why wasn’t Spike there with her? Why had he been torn away from her? Her and his son… It was so incredibly unfair. Not that she’d ever truly believed life to be fair, but this? This was too much, too harsh… too cruel. He had been human! The love of her life had somehow become human! Then, obviously so soon afterward, he was taken away from her… Ripped from her life. How many would she lose before this hell finally ended? Every time she fell in love, he would disappear. How, why, where… None of that was really relevant… Only that they were gone. She was always left without love. This time, though… This time it was so different. This time it wasn’t just her…It was her son… Their son.

As her eyes filled with tears from the memory, she heard the tiny baby in her arms gurgling happily. Glancing lovingly at him, she smiled despite herself. Now that Spike was gone, he had become the most incredible thing in her life. The one and only thing that truly kept her going…

Gently, she kissed the child’s forehead before carefully tucking him into the crib that sat beside her own bed. Sighing as she moved away to flick off the light, Buffy crawled into crawled into her empty bed. She shifted uncomfortably as she listened to the soft, slow breathing of her son. Nowadays, it was about the only thing in this world that could calm her. William was the only thing she had left of Spike… Except for the memories, of course, but it seemed the only ones she could ever dig up were the ones of his death. That hurt more than anything… Knowing that the only memories she could ever manage to call up were the horrific images of his death that fateful night. How hard could she possibly have it? So she was the Slayer, big deal… That shouldn’t mean she didn’t deserve one, just one stable, normal thing in her life. Okay, so maybe the fact that he had been a vampire for a hundred and twenty something years was slightly out of the ordinary but hey, she was the Slayer… Alright, so that probably just made the whole situation even less normal, but at least it was stable… And loving. He made her happy… He made her feel. Didn’t that count for anything? What would they take from her next? Her friends? Her sister? Her son? Simply the thought of losing her child… Of having him ripped from her life… It was unbearable. Again, her eyes welled with fresh tears. As they slid down her soft cheeks, Buffy slowly slipped into a restless slumber.


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The night was cold and starless. She moved gracefully along the white sand at her feet. There was no beach… No water. Only sand and the endless night. There she stood, the blinding darkness consuming her. Didn’t it always? Her long white gown flowed down past her bare feet, the wind tossing her satiny golden blonde hair every which way.

Cold. It was cold. There was a terrible chill. It hadn’t been created by the air… It wasn’t the billowing wind. It stemmed from somewhere deep within her… a darkness, an emptiness. She was alone… She didn’t want to be alone… Didn’t like it. Not here, not now. For so long, being alone, on her own, with nobody holding her back, it had been an outlet… A way to forget. Now it was just lonely, empty, terrifying. She wanted him beside her… Needed him with her…

Then, there he was. A sudden presence… comfort. It was as if somehow, somewhere, he had heard her silent plea through the restricting darkness. She tried to turn to him, but he stopped her. His strong hands rested on her upper arms, and she could immediately feel the warmth they held… The love he had for her.The feelings radiated from him and she needed to see him… To stare into those dizzying blue pools that held so much of the past, yet so much more of the future. Those incredible eyes that had looked upon her so many times before… For so many years in hatred, yet the sudden passion of love which befell them holding so much more strength and power over him. Again, she attempted to turn to him, but something held her back… Not so much physically, yet it was as if somehow she was already aware that he didn’t want her to move…

“Spike?” she whispered breathlessly, the twinge of pain in her soft voice evident.

“Don’t turn around, Love.” he responded, his muscled arms moving to wrap loosely around her tiny waist.

She reveled in his touch, leaning her head back against his chest and savoring their proximity to one another. It felt incredible… Finally being this close to him again, wrapped up in his strong embrace. All she wanted at that moment was to stay exactly the way they were until the end of time. It was so beautiful… So perfect…

“Buffy… There’s something coming… Something bad…” His voice was soft, almost… frightened? Did he really sound scared? This was new… and disarming. She had never known Spike to be afraid before. He was too strong… Too powerful. Fear could never penetrate him… Could it? “Promise me you’ll keep him safe until I can… Promise me you’ll keep yourself safe…”

There it was. She had discovered his one and only weakness, and that was it… Her and their child. But the tone of his voice… It was horrifying. What was this thing? Spike knew she could take care of herself and, in the past, he had never once questioned that. And he never would have were it not something terribly dangerous. This had to be bad… What was it? Why was it after her and their child?

“Spike, what is it? What’s coming?”

“Just wait for me… Don’t give up on me. Not yet… Don’t ever give up. I love you, Buffy. I love you both with everything that I am. I will protect you.”

“I know.” she whispered. And she did. As long as she had him, nothing could touch her… Nothing. She was safe. Finally, she turned to face him. There he was… The most incredible man she had ever come into contact with. She loved him with all her heart and soul. Reaching up, she gently ran her soft fingertips over his accented jaw line, tracing his strong features. “I love you…”

“I know.” His whispered reply was soft and adoring… Somehow that tone seemed the very incarnation of everything she loved about him. As she stared deeply into his eyes, a light smile tugged at his lips.
Bringing a hand up to caress her cheek, he slowly… tenderly, brought his lips to hers for one final, soft kiss…


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Buffy’s eyes shot open when she heard the sudden wailing of the tiny baby at her bedside. He didn’t like being alone. He hadn’t since the day she’d given birth to him. And she couldn’t blame him. What child did like being alone? Especially in Sunnydale. Actually, Buffy occasionally wondered if maybe he’d inherited some of her extra sensitive senses… Or maybe his fathers. He always got fussy when there was a demon near… But, for the most part, the only demon he’d ever been close to was Clem, and after a bit he’d realized that Clem wasn’t a threat. In fact, now he adored him.

Carefully, she gathered her son into her arms and rocked him gently. At that moment, a sudden, almost forgotten wave of contentment washed over her as she stood in the dark room, cradling her beautiful baby boy… Her miracle. Their miracle.

When she let her eyes rest on him once more, the child was fast asleep. She smiled. She knew all it took for him to fall fast asleep was a little rocking, and this time had been no different. On any other night, she would have tucked him back in as soon as his eyes were once again closed so that she herself could get some much needed rest… But tonight, she simply couldn’t bring herself to part with her child. The moment was just too perfect to let go… He was there… Spike was there. She could feel him. Every now and then, it would happen. She would feel him… His spirit. And tonight, he was watching over them tonight. There, in those moments, she felt warm… Completely safe and protected. It had been a long time since she’d felt that way, and she wanted to savor every second of it.


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The next morning, Buffy awoke slowly to the sound of Dawn downstairs in the kitchen with Willow and Giles, and she smiled slightly at the sound. As soon as Giles had found out about Buffy’s pregnancy, he had immediately come back to Sunnydale. Actually, they had tried to keep it from him for as long as possible before finally telling him. Everyone had know full well that he would grab the first flight out and come running back to Sunnydale the moment he found out. And he hadn’t disappointed them. Though it had taken him awhile to get there due to bad weather conditions, he’d been there through a good portion of her pregnancy and it didn’t look like he’d be going back anytime soon…

Buffy was glad he was back, though. She’d missed having him around. After Spike had been killed, she’d felt incredibly alone. Of course, her friends had been there, but it was Giles who had always been there before… He’d been like a father to her, and when she’d lost Spike, she’d felt like she needed him there… But he hadn’t been. Now he was and she was grateful. Not to mention the fact that it made her duties as Slayer a whole lot easier. With Giles there, she didn’t have to worry so much about the others. He knew what he was doing, and he was quite a bit more educated in demonology than the rest of them were.

The day she had found out for sure that she was pregnant, Buffy had stopped patrolling completely. During the seven months before she gave birth to William, the others had taken over for her, and really, they hadn’t been doing too bad a job. In fact, they were getting to be pretty good at it. And they were still taking her place more than she wished they would. She was only allowed to patrol with them two nights a week… Though she knew they were probably right about everything. They refused to let her go alone, half because she was incredibly sleep deprived, and half because she was now a mother and there was no way in hell they were going to let William grow up without her. So instead of risking it, they insisted on going with her when they allowed her to go at all. And after awhile, she actually given up on arguing with them, and instead, she just gave in.

If she was honest with herself, she knew they were right. She, too, was afraid that she’d be killed in battle again, and her son would be left without a mother… And she couldn’t allow for that to happen… ever. Not with his father gone as well.

After awhile, when she heard Xander and Anya arrive, Buffy decided it was about time she get up and get moving. Dragging herself out of bed, eyes still half out of focus due to weary, sleep deprived state, she quickly dressed before tying up her hair and moving to William’s crib. Once she’d changed and dressed her son, she made her way downstairs; the baby nestled comfortably in her arms. When they finally entered the kitchen, she looked up to see everyone smiling brightly at her. Flashing one of her own, she slipped into the seat between Xander and Willow, cradling her son lovingly in her arms.

“There they are!” Xander exclaimed cheerily as he carefully lifted William into his arms; rocking him slightly. “How ya feeling today?” He glanced back up at Buffy, his eyes full of concern. He knew she been a bit down recently… More from lack of sleep than anything, he figured, but it still worried him.

“I’m okay…” she replied, smiling slightly at the happy, gurgling baby in Xander’s arms. “But I do need to do some shopping and run some errands today. Could you guys maybe watch him for awhile?”

“Sure thing, Buff.” Xander agreed, nodding his approval. Still, his eyes held that same concern they had for weeks.

“Thanks.” she shot him another smile. Buffy knew they had every right to be worried, but really, things weren’t half as bad now… Not three months ago, she had spent every night crying herself to sleep. Actually, that was probably more the fault of her overactive hormones at the time, but it had still been a very emotional time for her when it came to missing Spike. “And I really am okay.” she reassured them all once more before running upstairs to shower and get ready for the rest of the day.