FORKOLOGY

by bartermn

7/16/98
I noticed that my hay fork was leaning against the barn
wall and covered with wet compost last night when I did chores
but forgot about it after wiping it clean with a barn rag and
hanging it back on it's hook, right next to the other forks.


I was sitting here at my desk tonight, occasionally glancing
out the big window in front of me that frames the wood shed,
barn, coop and lower pasture. The fan was blowing warm air around
the room but it wasn't quite the ninety degrees the big
thermometer on the shed showed outside.


I noticed a movement through the trees that border our
property. I clicked 'save' and hurried down to see what was going
on. I surprised our neighbor and his boy as they were hanging
my hay fork back up, of course it was covered with compost again.
"What are you two doing? Digging worms with my hay fork?"
They hadn't seen me coming and the surprised and guilty
looks told me they had been doing just that. I took the pitch
fork down and handed it to my neighbor, telling his son to get the
rag that was draped over a railing. I didn't need to tell him
what to do with it.


I explained that I didn't mind them taking worms from the
compost piles, better than stealing them from the worm box
I had filled for our own fishing trips. What I did mind was them
using our cows dinner fork to dig them with. I then proceeded to
give them a lesson in forkology.


"That pitch fork in your hands has only three thin tines, it
is made to toss dried grass with, it has no other purpose. If you
break my pitch fork none of the others will do it's job.
These also come with four or five tines but the bigger ones
aren't as easy to use when tossing bedding under the cows.
I got this fork from my grandpa, I'd like to keep it until I
join him in the sky. Don't EVER use it for digging with again!"


"That one over there with ten tines and a short D handle is
made for ensilage, I use it for cleaning the pens though. It can
be used in the compost piles. The one hanging to the left of it
is my potato fork, some folks call it a corn drag. It has four
tough tines, bent at ninety degrees to it's handle and will hold
up to a lot of abuse. The one I'd rather you use is this one,"
I took down my garden fork., called by many a compost fork.
"It has four flat, very sturdy tines and a short D handle, a rugged
tool that won't mind if you hit a root or rock." You're welcome
to use it anytime but clean it after you're done and put it
back where you found it. Got it?"


They left to go fishing, I came back to finish my chapter.
I hope they learned their lesson and aren't too mad at me for
yelling at them, maybe the heat got to me. I don't have time to
turn the compost piles as often as I should and appreciate
any help I can get. Besides, to a non-farmer a fork is just a fork.