ANinterview

AMERICAN NIGHTMARE

American Nightmare is: Wes-vocals, Jesse Standhard-bass,
Brian-guitar, Tim-guitar, ???-drums.

American Nightmare is a hardcore band from Boston that plays
good aggressive hardcore the way bands like Right Brigade
and Ten Yard Fight once did. American Nightmare is currently
my favorite hardcore band, both to listen to and to see live.
Before American Nightmare’s first show in California on
December 27th 2000 at Jerry’s Pizza in Bakersfield with
Diehard Youth, Whatever It Takes, and Carry On, I sat down
on the bench of a nearby street corner with Wes and Jesse.
What followed is one of the best interviews I have ever
conducted. I hope you enjoy it…

Me: I think in order to write lyrics as angry and bitter as yours
you must have had some kind of shitty experiences. Could you
tell me a specific story or two of something that happened to
you to influence you to write some of those songs?
Wes: I don’t know if it is more important to say specific things or
just generalize it because if I would say ‘This person did this to me, this girl or guy or whatever’ it might take away some of the meaning, and also wouldn’t be open for explanation. If you just say it was a situation people can take what they want from it and it won’t be so…
Me: Go for a general story then. What kind of stuff?
Wes: I would just say its people stuff. It doesn’t matter if it’s a guy or a girl or whatever, it is just relationship type stuff, growing up things, issues adolescents deal with when they’re teenagers or in their 20s growing up. Just different pressures, parental pressures, loosing friends, splitting off relationships with friends, stuff like that. Real general things that everyone deals with but a lot of people either don’t talk about it, don’t talk about it enough, or don’t talk about it in certain ways. That’s basically the gist of it.
Me: Why do you make your lyrics so vague?
Wes: I guess they’re vague cuz when I write them, I don’t write them for songs I just write anyway. I basically have books of words that I take out and put them in songs, and match up with whatever so it fits. I write kind of a poem so it doesn’t really make sense to use specific names, times, or locations. They’re not supposed to be vague, they just are. It might be better that way because people can take whatever they feel from it or whatever they think about it and interpret that in their own way. I don’t know if it’s supposed to be vague but maybe it’s better that way.
Jesse: It’s a good question.
Me: Thanx dude.
Wes: It’s better than ‘How’s Boston straightedge?’ Which is a fine question, but when you have a whole interview about Boston straightedge it’s like, ‘Oh cool.’
Me: What kind of message are you trying to get to people through your lyrics?
Wes: I’m not sure if there is a specific message. Maybe there would be a message in your own way. If someone can relate to it, then I think that’s message enough. Just knowing that other people feel the same way. If you can relate to it, it’s not like a dead on message but it’s a message per say. I don’t know. Maybe there’s not a message.
Jesse: As someone who has sang before and written lyrics I know what he’s trying to say, having a message, it could be a political message, a social message, or something like that…
Wes: A lot of bands are straightedge or vegan.
Jesse: Yeah, but what I think Wes is trying to convey in his lyrics is it’s more like an aggression release, just a way to let out all sorts of frustration without actually going out and strangling somebody. It’s not about trying to get a message across, but trying to get a feeling across.
Wes: And in a way that is a message.
Me: Why do you write lyrics more about personal issues instead of some topic like straightedge or something political?
Wes: There are things that are important to me. I care about straightedge a lot, I’m not too political, I’m not real interested in animal issues, and even if I was I think personal issues are more important to me because they are personal issues that deal with me. I’m not really interested in singing about straightedge and singing about political aspects or views. I think there’s a lot of bands do it, and a lot of bands that I really like, some of my favorite bands are straight up straightedge bands, and every song’s about straightedge and I love them for that, but it’s not what I wanted to do, it’s not what we wanted to do. It wasn’t a goal. A lot of bands that start are like, “Okay, we’re a straightedge hardcore band.” We never even talked about it. Everyone was straightedge, but we never set out to be a straightedge band. We’ve never been like, “Alright, we have to X up every show.”
Jesse: It’s not a label throw upon ourselves.
Wes: Yeah. We’re all straightedge, but we never talk about it. It probably won’t ever be a song. It’s just a personal thing. I do talk about topics, but the most important topic to me is just personal things, so that’s what I want to talk about.
Me: Do you you’re as angry and bitter in real life as your lyrics might suggest?
(Jesse laughs)
Wes: I’m not sure. I would say yes but in different ways. I’m not the person who’s always bummed out. I’m not always angry, but when I get upset I fixate on things, I’ll put a lot of thought into it. A lot of things that bother me have bothered me for a while. They’re not just small things that will rub off me and are gone. There are things that I could think about for a while. So I would say I’m not… I don’t know. I don’t really like the word ‘anger’ or ‘angry’ because I think it just sounds shitty and tough-guyish. I don’t know. I don’t know if that answered it or not.
Me: What’s the scene like in Boston and how is it different from other scenes?
Wes: (Laughs) Well that’s okay because you are from California. It’s not like some kid from New Hampshire, who lives an hour from Boston. Boston is awesome. It’s a really small city. If you walk around for like a half an hour you will run into someone you know. The reason Boston is awesome is there are so many amazing kids. They all know what kind of band they want to start and they start bands. If you look in Boston there’s predominant bands in every type of genre in hardcore. There’s Converge, Reach the Sky, Blood for Blood, and then of course Ten Yard Fight, In My Eyes, and Fastbreak who just broke up. Everyone there has a real close-knit type thing. Everyone’s friends more or less, everyone knows each other, people actually hang out a lot besides shows. Jesse and I live on this hill where pretty much all our friends live, all on the same hill. It’s just like a family type thing I guess. What do you think Jesse?
Jesse: It’s true. My immediate core of friends lives within like a two-minute walk from where we live. There’s no parental supervision, everyone lives on their own, and it’s like a big family. Like Wes said, everyone hangs out everyday, we go do the same shit, everyone eats together and helps each other out. It really is like one big fucking weird family.
Wes: Definitely weird. It is also really tight knit because a lot of us have been though fucked up shit together. People have fought a lot together. People have been there for each other when we had friends pass away. People have been through a lot together so that brings people closer. Even if it’s not talked about, it brings people closer.
Jesse: And everyone has known each other for a really long time. Some of the kids I live around I’ve gone to grade school with, I’ve known them for like 15 years. There’s other kids that I’ve known since we got into hardcore together, and it just makes it that much more special. You’re with every day the kids you grew up with and all your best friends, so it’s just a good time.
Me: Why didn’t you put any live photos in the layout of your 7-song CD and scribble the lyrics so they’re kind of hard to read?
Wes: We didn’t use live photos because we didn’t have any usable ones until a few weeks before the layout was supposed to be done. By the time we had them, we messed around with them, we had Jake see if they fit, and we all decided that we just liked the layout better without any photos. We’ll probably use photos some time but I don’t know, I don’t really care to, it doesn’t really matter to me. With the scribbled lyrics, Tim asked me to just write lyrics down for him. We were going to hand write them in the thing, but he asked me to just write them down for him so he could give them to Jake so he could just read them. So I just wrote them down messy and gave them to him, and he ended up using them. They weren’t actually written to be in the layout, it just turned out they were.
Me: What kind of response has American Nightmare been getting and how do you feel about it?
Wes: Recently it’s been really fun. We’ve made a lot of friends in a lot of different cities. It’s been more than I would have expected. New York City is always fun, Boston area is always awesome, Maine’s awesome, Philly’s awesome, D.C., Jersey, Wilkes-Barre Pennsylvania. I’ve been going to shows in those places for a few years. Jesse knows people in all those places from Right Brigade. We just made a lot of friends there, so every time we go there all our friends come out and it’s just awesome, it’s a fun time.
Jesse: The thing that’s real good about it. I’ve only been in the band since July, but the band itself has only been around like less than a year.
Wes: Yeah, almost a year.
Jesse: And the response the band has gotten is so amazing. We go to a place for the first time its really good…
Wes: Like Pittsburgh.
Jesse: And sell a lot of merch, come back again, and it’s huge. It’s almost like a Boston show.
Wes: We played Philly on our short tour last summer, it was our last show of tour, and it was awesome but no one really knew who we were. Then we went back last Friday and it was one of our best shows yet, it was crazy. People were tearing the lights down.
Jesse: The funny thing is you look out and you think you are going to see Geoff from Clevo or some idiot that we know out there, and you look out and it’s not kids we really know. I’m just so used to seeing all our friends out there.
Wes: We used to see just friends we know going crazy for us. It’s just cool to see other people you don’t meet. It’s awesome.
Me: What up and coming bands are there out east that you think are worth checking out that aren’t very known?
Jesse: Shark Attack.
Wes: Shark Attack. They are from Jersey and Philly. They have a seven-inch on My War.
Jesse: It is just old early 80’s style hardcore.
Wes: People say DYS a lot.
Jesse: DYS is a good comparison. They want to sound like Antidote, not really.
Wes: They cover Antidote. Who else?
Jesse: The Hope Conspiracy.
Wes: The Hope Conspiracy is kind of well known. That band’s awesome. Striking Dis--- Strike Anywhere…
Jesse: And Striking Distance. Striking Distance is an underrated band, that band’s great. Kill Your Idols. We just got off a tour with them. We like that band. I wasn’t too into them, I liked some of their songs, but we just played a week and a half with them and now I fucking love that band. They’re one of the best live bands I’ve seen in a long time.
Me: In order to be doing a band like American Nightmare that takes so much time and effort, someone could easily assume that you love hardcore. Could you try to explain why you love hardcore or what you like about it so much?
Wes: I like hardcore because… I don’t know, I guess I’ve never put it into words verbally. I’d say I love hardcore because I feel it, its something I feel that I love. I think about it a lot, it consumes a lot of my time, energy, and heart, and I love friends I’ve made over it… God, we can go so many places and see people we know cuz we have common interests with them. It’s amazing. It’s such a tight knit family. I’ve met so many people, made so many friends through it…
Jesse: People bitch about the current state of hardcore and I’m guilty of it too, but you go out and see a whole string of bad shows, then you out and see a totally amazing show, and it totally revives your faith in it. I like that I can go next store and talk about it with kids down the street, or I can go to Philadelphia or god knows where and I can talk about the same shit and still have a good time and laugh it up. We basically have all the same ideas. It’s really hard to describe.
Wes: It’s hard to describe, but that’s why it’s a good question. People have the same ideas, same reasons for being here.
Jesse: Every one of us is fucked up in one way or another, and we’re all here for a reason. Everyone was attracted to it someway. When you’re younger you hear this aggressive type of music and you can kind of just latch onto it. I remember the first time I heard Minor Threat. I was a metal head and I heard Minor Threat, and I was like, ‘Holy shit, this is amazing.’ I still listen to that record and get the same chills down my spine. The beginning notes of ‘Filler’ it’s like, ‘Holy shit.’ That’s what hardcore is. That record’s great.
Wes: Just going to shows and being like, ‘Holy shit.’
Jesse: Yeah, just hanging out at shows too. It’s just a big happy dysfunctional family. That’s basically what hardcore is.
Me: What do you think is the biggest problem in the hardcore scene?
Wes: I’m going to let Jesse answer this even though I’m really scared about what he’s going to say.
Jesse: Biggest problem in hardcore… There could be an A B C D through Z on this… Oh god.
Wes: Maybe it’s better not to talk about problems in hardcore. Maybe it’s better to just think about the good things. I’m not a positive person but it’s good to try to be positive. But on the last string of dates we did, we went to a few places, and we won’t say where we went and who we talked to, but we just met people who have a totally different idea of what we think hardcore is and what it means to us. We would talk to people like, ‘What bands do you like,’ and they named off bands that I’ve never heard of, Jesse’s definitely never heard of. I’m not saying anything against those bands. And then I think someone was like, ‘What kind of music do you like Jesse?’ And Jesse was like, ‘I like the Cro-Mags,’ and named off all these older bands and people were just…
Jesse: Clueless as to what we were talking about. These kids would spout off these bands like, ‘I love hardcore I love this,’ and they’re wearing these stupid t-shirts, these bands that I’ve never heard of, and that are huge in some places that have absolutely nothing to do with hardcore. Then they’d be like, ‘Oh they’re a metal band.’ Fuck no they’re not a metal band cuz they’re not influenced by Kill Them All, they don’t sound like Judas Priest, and they don’t sound anything like Iron Maiden. They’re just a bunch of shorthaired wienies in bad clothes. When I think of hardcore I think of CBGBs, I think of the Bad Brains, I think of the first Warzone LP. That’s what hardcore is, and some kid can tell you ‘Oh no, that’s not right, that stands for violence, and this and that,’ but that’s what hardcore is.
Wes: That’s so true.
Jesse: Even to sound like a dick, I don’t care, someone could say, ‘This is hardcore too.’ No, there is one thing that’s hardcore.
Wes: Well I don’t agree with that. I think there are different genres of hardcore, but as long as the ideas are there. I think a lot of the newer bands are okay even though I might not personally like them, but they’re okay because they’re influenced by hardcore bands. But I think a lot of younger kids who like these bands don’t know about older bands and the bands they like are influenced by.
Jesse: They could be on the wrong path.
Wes: Exactly. They haven’t found out about the amazing bands that these bands they like came from.
Jesse: Kids will hear a band like Converge who I personally don’t care for…
Wes: I like Converge, they’re good friends of mine.
Jesse: Yeah, they’re awesome dudes, we’re friends with all the dudes in the band…
Wes: But we also know that Converge are long time hardcore kids who have put a lot of time in the hardcore scene. They know about bands like Breakdown, Cro-Mags, and Straight Ahead.
Jesse: Yeah, you talk to those dudes about the Judge 7” and they’re like, ‘Yeah,’ they know what’s going on. And the typical kid that would go to a Converge show… Converge has done a Judge cover and kids didn’t know what was going on. And it’s just sad cuz you can like whatever you want, but you have to know what your roots are before you start spouting off about, ‘This is hardcore, this that and the other thing,’ and not knowing what a band like The Bad Brains, SSD, or something like that is, or Minor Threat which is a basic one. And I guarantee that in a lot of places kids don’t know these bands.
Wes: I’m also going to say kids should know the Embrace LP but Jesse doesn’t.
Jesse: I don’t give a shit about that band.
Wes: But it also has to do with where you live, what region you’re from. I’m not saying this is a good thing. This is just what shows are to me. People can get hurt at shows. It sucks when people get hurt at shows but it can happen. I’m not saying you shouldn’t get bummed out, but you don’t need to try to fight someone or get all pissed off if you get hurt at a show.
Jesse: Two-thirds of our rodies got…
Wes: Broken noses, black eyes…
Jesse: Broken bones on our last tour.
Wes: I think shows should be scary. When you first start going to shows you’re scared. There is an amazing scary intimidating feeling. As long as it is not in a bad way, like people just beating the shit out of each other, I think the feeling of scariness needs to be there.
Jesse: It’s everyone going to the show for the same reason, not going for a fashion show or to hit on some stupid girl, it’s everyone going there to get their aggressions out, and just have a good time. The first time I ever saw Sick of It All was one of the most terrifying experiences of my life.
Wes: My first show was Sheer Terror. I was scared to death.
Jesse: Those are good hardcore bands. I still remember going to see them and there were probably 800 people there, and probably 700 of them were dancing. It was just out of control. Skinheads, punks, and hardcore kids, everyone was going off, and you go to see them now, granted it’s many years later, and it’s just totally different. Kids are just kind of standing there. They played ‘Clobbering Time,’ and there was no clobbering going on.
Wes: What we’re getting at is a lot of places that we went to, had no scary feeling. Like I said, we don’t have a direct thing, but we like to make sure we’re scary. An amazing band that did that recently was No Justice, they made people scared of shows again. I think that was the best thing about that band. They just broke up but that band was amazing for that.
Jesse: Never knowing what was going to happen.
Wes: Yeah. At the last No Justice show, I was moshing and I got hit in the face with a bottle. I wasn’t psyched but I was glad that things like that can happen. I don’t want people to get hurt, but you should be on your toes and be aware.
Jesse: (laughing) This is going to sound so weird.
Wes: Yeah, you’re not even going to put this in. I’m just explaining it to you now. A dude would be moshing, and he would hit someone, and people would be so bummed out and pissed like, ‘Get him out of here.’ It was bad. But you should just erase that whole thing. We got nowhere with that.
Me: (talking to Jesse) you sang for Right Brigade right?
Jesse: Yeah, I quit.
Me: Why did that band break up?
Jesse: The gist of it was that I gave over two years of my life for that band. I dropped everything to attempt to make that band big, do my best to get people to buy the record, play shows, tour, and no one else really committed to it. All of the sudden they decided to kick one of my best friends out of the band who happened to be my roommate without consulting me about it, and that was the final straw. We would have awesome shows booked and these dudes all of the sudden can’t play the shows. For example, they say they kicked him out because he wasn’t dedicated enough to the band. Then we’ve had a string of shows like one of the Freddie benefits that Madball’s playing, one of the last shows before Freddie went away. This is a Saturday evening show. They call me up the day before saying, ‘Aww, we can’t make it, so-and-so got a new job, I have to work Friday’s and Saturday’s now. I have Sunday’s and Monday’s off,’ and that was just the final straw. I’m not going to dedicate myself to putting forth an honest effort to making this band a real thing and just get dicked around like this. And the new record is just total debacle. I hate it. I quit the band and they went in the studio and convinced me to go back in and sing on the record, and I did, I said I wouldn’t play any more shows. I went in, did my vocals in three days, and I was like, ‘Okay guys, you can mix it, whatever, have a good time, I just want to hear it when it’s done.’ So they finished, mixed, mastered, and I go, ‘Hey, I want to hear a copy of it, what does it sound like,’ ‘Oh, it sounds good.’ And they dodged me for a couple weeks, and I end up hearing through the grapevine though one of my friends that there’s two instrumental songs and 23 minutes of loop guitar noise at the end of the record, and that was the final straw. They had that recorded while I was in the studio, and they knew that if they told me I wouldn’t sing, cuz it’s ridiculous to have that crap on a record like that. Some records like a Cave-In record that would be cool to have on, but a Right Brigade record its just not going to fly, and they were telling other people I knew that they put it on there, ‘Oh we put it on there, it’s going to piss Jesse off, it’s going to be great.’ They basically put it on there to piss me off and to spite me, and that’s fuckin not cool, definitely not cool. So that band’s over and done with, and whatever those fuckin dudes do in the future, whatever. They can go fuck themselves.
Me: Is there anything else you want to add?
Wes: I just want to say that it’s cool you’re doing a hardcore zine cuz there’s not many zines right now on the East Coast, there’s like two or three. Most of the zines that are there don’t interview and write about hardcore bands, so it’s cool. You can’t just come home with a zine in your pocket.
Jesse: I remember coming home with two or three zines a long time ago. I had a bunch of zines, granted some of them were just weird things, but I would constantly come home with a stack of zines and always have stuff to read, and it was just kids supporting everything a lot more than they do now-a-days, so it’s good to see zines. Everywhere we go we never see zines. So it’s cool that you’re doing a zine. It’s awesome.

Check out the American Nightmare website at:
www.xmulletx.com/an