~~~~~
 

Here I am again. I just woke up and I can hear some sort of racket going on downstairs with Spike and Buffy, so I figure I can take this quiet moment to write a bit. I wasn't sure I would continue this but I find that my thoughts are clearer when I do write them out.

I found out yesterday that Buffy does the same thing but for a completely different reason. It goes back to Thanksgiving of last year, actually. There was some big danger that Doyle saw in one of his visions and it was about Buffy. Angel, being Angel, came to Sunnydale to help Buffy. The catch was that he didn't her know he was here. So she went down to confront him, some demon that had the ability to give him the essence of being human, attacked him. They got to be all happy for awhile until Angel realized what it meant to be human again. He wouldn't be able to help people like he could as a vampire.

All this wouldn't have been so bad, had he been smart and told Buffy that he wanted to go back. But no, like he did after graduation, he completely took the choice out of her hands, not telling her until the deal was done. He exchanged his humanity for her memory of their happiest moment.

Still, wouldn't have been a problem. Buffy didn't remember; Angel was still able to help people. All was well…until somehow - which no one can figure out how to this day - Spike found out about it and one day they had some major fight going on, and I guess she said something that went to far, and he used it against her, leaving her speechless.

Needless to say, we soon saw a raging Buffy lightening Angel's door again. I was there by then, and I wouldn't have wanted to be Angel at any point in his entire life. She ripped into him so far, *our* ears were ringing for the next day and we were in the opposite end of the building.

So from that moment on, she's written religiously at least a few words that'll help her remember if she were to look back one day and read it. Can't say I blame her.

Obviously they've made peace with it, Buffy and Spike, since I heard he actually apologized - Suspicion has it that Joyce got wind of it and really ripped into Spike for it) I wonder what the vampire community would do with information like that. Spike; Master vampire, being brought to task by the Slayer's mother. Interesting piece of blackmail information. Not that I'd use it, but Buffy could…

So I've been back for a few days now, and things seem normal. Well normal is probably stretching it a little. Things aren't bad. They're better than not bad. It's hard to say really. I've talked to Buffy just not really talked to her. Not that it’s a big surprise. Most of our time is spent with other people.

The second night I was back, I stopped by to see Devon while Spike and Buffy were out on patrol. Not surprisingly, he hadn't changed much in a year. He still had some chick sleeping of the effects of his extremely tiring lovemaking. It was like I never left, except for those "Where the fuck have you been?" questions. He knows vaguely since other than Buffy he was the only one I called on a semi regular basis, but the real question behind it is "Why did you leave for so long?" I shrugged, not knowing what to tell him. He knows about the wolf, but…Leave it that. He knows.

Being Devon, I asked him what he thought I should do about Buffy. All I meant was should I tell her now about my feelings, or should I wait until I've settled in more. Interestingly enough, he told me I should throw her over my shoulder and holding her hostage so I can have my wonderful Ozzy-way with her. You'd think that a guy who has the ability to talk almost anyone into bed with him would have a smoother, less discreet approach to it.

His suggestion has merit, mind you. Yesterday morning I caught her coming out of the shower wearing only a towel, beads of water still clinging to her shoulders and face, making their way down to the cleft between her breasts. Which is exactly when I turned away. After ogling for a few very long seconds, that is.

I don't know.

~~~~

"Afternoon, mate." Spike called up from the ground level as Oz made his way down the stairs.

"Hey. You guys done?"

"Yep."

"Who won?"

Spike's eyes twinkled, a quirky grin gracing his sharp features. "I did." He told me, his voice loud enough to carry into the bathroom. A faint "Bullshit" could be heard over the running water.

"She's just mad because I may have hit upon a few hard truths that she isn't willing to face yet." He explained.

Oz raised an eyebrow "Really? Like what?"

Spike observed Oz for a moment under a scrutinizing gaze. Shaking his head, he went around the island counter and reached into the fridge, extracted a big cup and set it in the microwave. "Nothing I can discuss really. Not my place and all."

"Ok." Oz shrugged, moving around the couch to plop himself down.

Spike's brow furrowed. Taking a quick second to ascertain that the slayer was in the shower, Spike towards the living and took a seat opposite from where Oz half sat, half lay on the couch.

"I'd be breaching some sort of confidence if I told you what she was angered about, you understand." Spike hinted quietly.

"It's ok, really. I wasn't planning on prying." Oz told him.

Spike sighed with frustration. "Wouldn't want the Slayer's mum to be mad at me for meddling in her daughter's love life again." He continued, putting emphasis on 'love-life'. "She might stop keeping me stocked in hot chocolate and mini marshmallows."

"Are you trying to tell me something, Spike?" Oz knew he was supposed to be getting a hint of some kind, but the blond vampire was muddling everything with Buffy's mom.

"Ofcourse not!" Spike adopted an indignant face. "It wouldn't do for me to tell you about the boy she's interested in."

Boy…interested in…Buffy? Or her mom? Huh?

"Are you saying Buffy's got her eye on someone?"

His eyes darted to the movement that came down the hall. "Bloody hell, mate. I'm not gonna spy on the Slayer and find out if she's interested in someone for you!" Spike protested. A quick grin crossed his face. "Ready for another bout, pet?"

Oz swiveled his head to see Buffy coming out the bathroom, once again wrapped in only a towel. "Hi Buffy."

"Hey Oz. I'll be done in a few, then we can go scout the classified ads at Giles'."

"No rush."

She had disappeared into her bedroom. Turning back to Spike, Oz couldn't help but notice the smirk the blond was sporting.

"Is that why she wants to help me find a job and an apartment? She doesn't want to bring the guy here while I'm staying here with you guys?" Oz wondered aloud.

"I can't believe I couldn't off you all when I had the chance. If I had known this is the brain power I was up against, I swear I would have found a way." Shaking his head in dismay, Spike went to the bathroom, mumbling obscenities.

In a rare moment, Oz's face was the mask of confusion. Why wouldn't Buffy have told him if she were seeing someone? They usually managed to talk about these things. For some reason she wasn't opening up now that he was close enough to be an actual shoulder to lean on. Perturbed, and waiting for the slayer, Oz closed his eyes only to be taunted by images of an almost naked Buffy coming out of the shower.

------
 

"You know I'm sure I could do this without your help if you have something more important to do, or someone to see." Oz remarked easily as they walked up the last sidewalk that led to Giles' apartment.

"What else am I gonna do. You need a place. I need something to do. Did you not want my help? I promise not sell you on anything too girly."

"It's an apartment, not a hairstyle. If something is girly I can change it." He reassured. "I just mean if you wanted to do something or see someone…other than me…"

Buffy looked at him as if he'd grown another head. "Oz, you've been here for a few days. What else do I have in life?" she asked with a frown.

True, but… "If it’s a problem me being there, I can just go stay with Devon until I find a place. That's probably a better idea. I'll go, then you can get back to your life." Oz told her, picking up the pace; his arm raised as he reached the door, it stopped mid way through the motion to knock. Turning to look at the girl who had hindered his arm, his eyes clashed with her annoyed ones.

"You will not go stay with Devon. You'll stay at our place as long as you want. I just figured you'd want your own space, but if that’s not the case, you'll stay with us until we find you a place to go. Is that understood?" Her peeved upraised eyebrow fell as he nodded acquiescently.

"Good!" she growled before letting herself into her former watcher's apartment.

~~~~

If I didn't know any better, I would have thought that Buffy was really annoyed at me going to stay somewhere…well that wasn't with her. But I know better, just like I know there's a reason she practically ripped my head off when I mentioned going to stay with Devon. Its me, open road guy, gone to find my inner wolf, but I'm scared to ask a girl why she won't let me leave her house??  Then again if I put it that way, being kept by beautiful woman, should I really be complaining??

Probably not right? Yet…