~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two weeks, fourteen hours, and forty-three minutes later, Buffy still hadn't
come clean to Willow. Not to mention the fact that she had been avoiding Oz
like he was the black plague. Willow was starting to worry, as well as
Xander, and whenever, by some chance of fate, she and Oz were stuck in the
same room, both shot guilty looks at one another, before Buffy finally ended
up bailing.

"What in Satan's name has you so down, Slayer?" Spike asked. He was skulking
a few steps behind her and to the right. "Not that I give a wit about your
problems, mind you, it's just that you're bringing my sunshiny mood down."

Gritting her teeth to keep from spinning and nailing Spike in the mouth,
Buffy sped up her gait, trying to put more distance between the two of them.
"Can we keep the idle chit chat to a minimum, Spike? I just want to get in a
few slays and go home to get a good nights sleep."

"Well, that's just bloody fine!" Spike bellowed in frustration, startling
Buffy and causing her to jump. Buffy spun on him, anger radiating in the
glare she shot him.

"Do you think you could yell any louder? I don't think you scared off all of
the vamps yet," she hissed venomously.

Gritting his teeth, Spike curled his upper lip, looking almost as if he were
trying to bare his fangs to her, though he still wore his human mask.
Speaking in an exaggerated whisper, he said to her, “I was just trying to be
nice.” He shuddered a bit at the word he chose to use. “You just looked like
you needed to talk to someone and you sure as hell can't go to the witch like
you used to.”

Buffy straightened her posture, her back like an iron rod. “What makes you
think I cant talk to Willow?” she asked him indignantly.

Turning the corner of his lip up in a hauty smirk, Spike began circling
Buffy. She turned with him, never allowing her back to be turned on him.
“Because it probably wouldn’t be a smashing idea to tell her that you have
the hots for her little boyfriend,” he said in a mocking voice.

Buffy flinched a bit and sighed. “Why can’t I hide anything from you?” she
asked in exasperation, walking away from him.

“Cuz, luv. I’m one hell of a perceptive bloke,” he said merrily, falling into
step with her. “So, why don’t you tell me what’s on your mind?”

“Why do you care?” she asked, throwing an angry look at him.

“I don’t really. I just get so bored sometimes. I feel a bit left out, not
being in on your little soap opera,” he told her and shrugged.

“Whatever,” she said, unable to think of a better comeback at that moment.
She sped up her pace, trying to put some distance between her and the cocky
vampire. As she rounded a large thicket of bushes, something caused her to
stop dead in her tracks. Spike bumped into her because she had stopped so
suddenly.

“What?” he growled in frustration, craning his neck to the side to see what
had stopped her. When he saw Oz’s van parked at the curb by the cemetery and
Oz leaning nonchalantly against it, he let out a quiet chuckle. Propping an
elbow on Buffy’s shoulder, he rested his chin on the top of her head. “Well,
well, well. Speak of the little devil.”

Spike hunched over in pain, as the Slayer’s elbow connected with his sternum.
“Cor, Slayer. What the hell was that for?” he bit out between his teeth.

“Don’t touch me,” she said, and walked away from him, towards Oz. Oz didn’t
notice her coming until she was only about six feet away from him. “Oz, what
are you doing out here after dark. You know it’s dangerous out here,” she
said, stopping a good distance away from him.

“I know,” Oz said simply, his eyes cast downward, avoiding her open gaze.

“Hey, Wolfy!” Oz looked up when he heard Spike’s jovial taunting. The bleach
blond stood hovering over Buffy’s shoulder, a wide grin spread out across his
face. “Come to play a game of ‘fetch’?”

“Up yours, Spike,” Oz said in a quiet tone, his eyes flashing anger at the
vamp the only thing that betrayed his calm exterior. Turning back to Buffy,
Oz caught her eye with his own and held it. For a long while, no one said
anything, Oz and Buffy staring solemnly at one another and Spike watching
them.

Finally the silence was broken by Spike giving a fake yawn and stretching.
“Cor, what time is it?” he asked and looked at his bare wrist as though there
were a watch there. “Wow, that late? Well, it’s past my bedtime, ya know.
Gotta go.” And before either Oz or Buffy could comment, he was off, walking
at a brisk pace. Buffy watched his figure disappear into the darkness before
turning back to Oz apprehensively.

Biting her lips, Buffy shuffled her feet a bit. “Um,” she said, and stopped
there, because she really didn’t know what to say to him. Hefting out a deep
sigh of frustration, Buffy snapped at him. “Why did you come here tonight?”

Shifting his eyes away from her, Oz stared off at a tree. Not really focusing
on it, just trying to keep from staring at her. He shrugged, not really
knowing what to tell her. “I just.....needed someone to talk to,” he finally
said.

Buffy softened, already cursing herself for the harsh tone she had taken with
him. “What about?” she asked, taking only a few steps closer to him, stopping
until she was about four feet away from him.

Oz shrugged, still avoiding eye contact with her. “I suppose I could go on
about all the feelings that I’m *still* having for you. Or I could tell you
how much it hurts my heart to see the way you make a bee line for the door
every time I show up. *Or* I could tell you what it’s like to have to comfort
Willow when she’s sad that you don’t talk to her anymore. I could say all of
that, but that’s not really what I came here to talk about.”

Giving into her urge to be closer to him, Buffy unrooted herself from her
spot and went over to lean against the van next to him. She was careful to
make sure there was still a good foot of space between them, but she was
surprised at how comforting being this close to him was. She had been dodging
him for so long now and combining that with the pain she still had from
losing Angel, Buffy had started to feel empty. It was almost as if she were a
husk of herself, walking around, slaying, doing her duties, but avoiding all
of her friends except for Giles. “Tell me?” she asked, just wanting to hear
his soft voice.

She heard Oz swallow hard and gave him a moment to compose himself. She knew
how uncomfortable it made him to appear like he’s lost his cool. Still, she
kinda wanted to see him lose his cool, to see what he was really like under
all of that calm resolution.

“I just came from Willow’s house,” he began, turning to face her. His
shoulder was pressed against the passenger door of his van and it looked to
her as though he were depending on the van to support his weight. Almost as
if he didn’t trust himself to remain standing. Buffy wet her lips and nodded
for him to continue, but really she was tensed, ready to catch him should he
fall over.

“We were....we were lying in her bed and she was asleep with her head on my
chest. I was watching her sleep, I’ve always liked watching her sleep. She
had...” he paused for a moment, a small smile lighting his lips. “...the
cutest little smile of contentment on her face. Then I started feeling guilty
because....well, I started to wonder what it would be like to hold *you* like
that. To watch *you* sleep.”

Buffy looked down as the blood rushed to her face in a deep blush. A shock of
heat hit her body when he said those words. Now *she* felt guilty because she
had wondered the same thing.

“Then she said it. She...she said Xander’s name in her sleep. And...she
squeezed me tighter and her smile got bigger. It made me feel sick and
jealous and angry all at the same time,” he told her. “So, I slipped out of
bed, careful not to wake her up, and I came here to find you.”

Buffy’s jaw dropped. She shook her head to clear it up a bit, not really
knowing what to say. She watched Oz’s face as it paled, his lip curled upward
and it looked as if he might get sick. “She’s still in love with him,” he
said in a low whisper.

Buffy’s caring nature took over and she forgot about her confusing attraction
to Oz for a minute as she wrapped her arms around his neck. She urged his
head down to her shoulder. Oz allowed her to hold him tightly to her,
remaining completely silent. It wasn’t until she felt a wet trail leak over
her bare shoulder that she realized he was crying. Gently grasping his
shoulders, Buffy pushed him away a bit and looked into his glossy, green
eyes.

Tentatively, she brushed her hand over his forehead and around to cup his
cheek. That hot feeling rushed through her body again as he stared intensely
back at her. “I need you, Buffy,” he said quietly, falling forward against
her again and burying his face in the crook of her neck. Buffy hesitated for
a moment, but slowly slid her hands up Oz’s back to hold him. The fingers of
one hand tangled in his hair, stroking it soothingly. The other pressed
firmly between his shoulder blades.

Buffy took in a sharp gasp, when she felt Oz’s warm lips press against her
neck, just over her quick-beating pulse point. Buffy’s hand fisted,
scrunching Oz’s shirt in her hand. She tensed as Oz sucked gently on her
neck, scraping his teeth lightly over the skin. “Oz,” she forced out.

Oz took his mouth away from her and looked up into her eyes. A sinking
feeling formed in the pit of Buffy’s stomach as his lips left her heated
skin. “We should stop,” Buffy told him. Some how, though, he didn’t appear to
be listening to her. He was just watching her intensely. Licking his lips, Oz
leaned closer and placed his lips over hers, cutting off the protests that
Buffy swore she was going to give.

Pushing Buffy up against the side of the van, Oz pressed himself even closer
to her. Deepening the kiss, Oz snaked his tongue into her mouth. As their
tongues danced slowly against each other, Buffy’s hands pressed against the
back of Oz’s neck, holding him to her. Not that he was planning on going
anywhere.

Even as tingles ran down her spine from Oz’s touches and kisses, Buffy’s
conscience was still on overdrive. While her body was screaming for more
attention, her mind was yelling that she should stop before it got too out of
control. As if he sensed her thoughts, Oz pulled away, his eyes still closed,
sucking his lips in. Letting her hands fall from his neck to his chest, Buffy
sighed and urged him to back away from her.

“I want to tell her, Buffy. Do you?” he asked. Buffy bit her lower lip and
nodded.

“But don’t you still love her? What if she breaks up with you and hates *me*
forever? What if she doesn’t understand?” Buffy ran on. She stopped when she
noticed that Oz was shaking his head solemnly.

“If Willow and I ever had a chance together, it was over the moment she and
Xander shared that first kiss. She’ll never stop loving him. It’s over
between her and I, even if nothing happens between you and me,” he explained.
He quieted for a moment, looking thoughtful. “You know while she and I were
split up, I called you.”

“You did?” she asked with surprise.

“Yeah, I needed someone to talk to. You weren’t there. Your mom answered the
phone but I didn’t leave a message or my name.” He shook his head as if to
clear it. “Do you want me to give you a ride home?”

Buffy thought about it for a moment before shaking her head ‘no’. “I’m just
going to walk. I have some thinking to do.”

“Can I call you tomorrow? We have some things I think we should talk about.”