Title: Whatever It Is I Think I See (1/1)
Author: Queena
E-mail: thessulah@aol.com
Rating: G
Summary: Buffy muses over Oz.
Feedback: Pwetty pwease.
Disclaimer: Joss owns the characters in this story. Not me. I’m just borrowing them.
Author’s Notes: This is the next part in my “Blood Pump” series.

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Oh, joy. Holden’s class on three hours of sleep. I wonder how long before I start to nod off. If only there were some way to make Classic Literature more interesting. Oh wait, there is, and he just walked in. I didn’t think he’d show. He blows this class off so much that it’s a miracle that he’s still passing. Just one of the benifits of being Boy Genius, I guess.

Oh, and he’s coming this way, which is odd since his seat is on the other side of the room. That and Holden is already five minutes into his monologue. What in the world is this? Oh, how cute and utterly weird. A king sized Tootsie Roll with a pink ribbon tied around it. Awwwww. Willow used to tell me about all of the wacky gifts he used to give her, but I never thought that he’d give one to me.

God, look at him. Always so calm and serene looking. I wonder if it’s maybe a front. If maybe the animal in him gives him a passion that he hides from the world. I’d like to find out, preferrably in a dark and secluded spot. Wow, dirty thoughts. I’m having dirty thoughts about Oz. And I thought life on the Hellmouth was weird.

He kissed me. Well, I kissed him. All right, I guess we kind of meet each other halfway in the initiative department. And it was sweet, short-lived and a bit awkward. But there was something so perfect about it. It made me tremble and made my palms sweat and made my stomach turn flip flops. It was exciting and new, almost like my first kiss, but without all of the fumbling of inexperience.

Am I overanalyzing it? I don’t think so. I mean, it *was* my first kiss since Angel left Sunnydale, more than a year ago. And it was so different than any of my kisses with Angel. With Angel it had always been frenzied, even the soft ones. It was almost as if we were afraid we would be ripped away from each other at any moment. And that was because there was truly danger of that happening.

I don’t want to think about Angel. Don’t want to think about Oz either. I should try to focus on something less confusing than guys. What did Holden just say about the lost love of Ernest Hemmingway? And why should I care?

It’s too hard to concentrate with him in such close proximity. Just across the lecture hall and a few rows back. He really looks wrapped up in the class, but I know he can feel my eyes on him. I can tell by the almost non-existant half-smile on his face. Just the corner of his lip barely turning up.

I just started realizing how much a really like looking at him. I always have, but I’m just now admitting it to myself. I don’t understand why I’m so infatuated with him. He’s about a hundred miles from being my type. He’s short and slim, though not without muscle tone, and he’s got that whole eccentric grunge look. I mean, what exactly is up with that Ghostbusters t-shirt anyway? And can you even call it grunge anymore? Didn’t that term die with Kirt Cobain? Then there’s his ever-changing hair. I always liked him with the strawberry blond hair, but for some reason I’ve grown really used to him with the black with blue streaks. It just seems to fit him better, his personality. And it contrasts so nicely with his eyes. Oh, his green eyes, they just seem to ooze an intelligence that is almost humbling.

I really do need to snap out of it. If he catches me staring at him one more time.....well, let’s just say it would do wonders for my color.

Better to focus on something else. Well, class is out of the question, but then, it usually is.

Why would he give me a Tootsie Roll? Does he think I’m too skinny and is trying to fatten me up on sweets? And how did he know that Tootsie Rolls are my favorite? Did Willow tell him or did he just look at me and think ‘Buffy looks like a Tootsie Roll kind of gal’? And how could he be so sure that I wasn’t a Milky Way kind of gal or a Starburst kind of gal?

Hmmm, all this talk about candy is making me hungry. Maybe I should mow this Tootsie Roll down. But if I did that I’d ruin the perfect little bow that he tied in the pink ribbon. But I doubt he’d give me candy and not expect me to eat it. And it’s just calling to me.

‘Eat me, Buffy. I’m filled with chocolately chewy goodness.’

Well, that seals it. I’m eating this baby. Here, I’ll just slip the ribbon off without untying it and it makes the perfect momento. No harm, no foul.

Now, he’s giving me that amused look. What do I have Tootsie Roll stuck in my teeth or something? Or maybe he can read my mind. Now, there’s a dreadful thought. Maybe I should start tuning into class.

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“Whatever it is I think I see, becomes a Tootsie Roll to me.” =D