TITLE: Curiosity
AUTHOR: Ragna (Obsessive-Compulsive Spike)
DISTRIBUTION: Sure, just tell me!
DISCLAIMER: Everything except what comes out of my pretty little head belongs to Joss and Mutant Enemy.
RATING: PG
SPOILERS: None, unless I miraculously get hired to write for the show.
FEEDBACK: Wanted. Needed. SEND IT!
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is a Oz POV piece.
~*~*~
How could she?

After everything we'd been through together...the werewolf thing, her near death experience, her and Xander's kiss, all of that. She left me.

For the vampire.

I can't even remember exactly what happened, either. It was like one day she woke up, dumped me, and the next day they were together.

Of course, I'd been blind to her and Xander. Maybe I'd just been blind to him and her.

Xander and I, surprisingly, are pretty close now. He suffered enough of Cordy's wrath to make me feel sorry for him. And boy, was it awful.

But I had her back in my life, as my girlfriend. That was what mattered. And then...she was gone.

Now, though, I think I knew what had happened.

He came back, this time without that psychotic bitch and not half as drunk as Buffy had said he had been before. She was pretty heartbroken over Angel leaving, and I'd comforted her.

Maybe Willow took it the wrong way, I don't know. But we forced Spike to help us, and he'd grudgingly offer experience and some of the knowledge he had stored away. Little tidbits at a time.

Maybe it reminded Willow of me.

Buffy and I became good friends. She came to me if she needed just a shoulder to cry on...she went to Xander if she needed a laugh. She went to Willow if she wanted to talk. If Willow wasn't "busy."

I always wondered why she was so busy. It hadn't been demon stuff, I know that. Or, rather, it hadn't been demon fighting stuff.

But, I loved her. Still do. She'll always be special to me...even though she's with him. And I'll always wonder why she's with him, what she sees in him.

What she stopped seeing in me.