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PART 1
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"So, love. You have 40 minutes to decide."

Spike paced behind the Slayer. "These are the 40 most eligible bachelors in Sunnyhell. Your mum has picked them out. They have met her standards. You have 40 minutes to either choose one, or limit it to four contestants."

Buffy nodded. "Do I get to ask questions?"

Spike thought about it. "One question per contestant. Different question for each."

"Okay, one for you first: why are you in charge of this?"

Spike grinned. "Your mum likes me, I guess. She also knew I'd intimidated each of these little worms. Except number 23. That would be your friend Oz."

She looked over at him, and he grinned a little. "I didn't even think he'd be up to doing this, after Willow."

"Well, when she ran off with that rock star...Jonny Lang, I think it was, he decided he was better off without her."

"Yeah. I never would have thought of her to be the cheating kind. It was weird."

"And they were all guitarists, too. Love, your time starts...now."

Buffy looked at the guys. "Number 15, where would you take me on a date."

This jock stepped out. "To a frat party, then my dorm." About ten other guys laughed at that.

"Numbers 1, 7, 15, 19, 22, 24, 28, 30, 33, 39 and 40, you're out," Buffy said, looking at the 29 guys that remained.

"Okay, number 2. If I were attacked, and you knew I could fight back, would you try and help?"

The boy, a nerdy type guy, stepped forward. "No...I'd probably get hurt."

"Get out of here. Anyone else who agrees, leave too." Numbers 8, 9 and 12 left.

"Must have been friends," Spike muttered. Buffy grinned at that. "Okay, number 23. What's my favorite brand of ice cream?"

Oz stepped forward. "You don't have a particular favorite, as long as it's Ben and Jerry's, but you're partial to Monkey Chunk."

"Good. You get to stay," Buffy said. "Anyone who doesn't like Ben and Jerry's get out."

Numbers 3, 11, 25 and 32 left as well. "Next question. Number 34. Why do I always look good?"

He stepped out. "I have absolutely no idea."

"Because I spend a large amount of time getting ready. Anyone who dislikes that quality of my personality, leave. Now." Numbers 4, 6, 13, 16, 20, 17, 29, 34, 35 and 38 walked out.

She takes a good, hard look at the eleven remaining contestants. "Number 28. What would you do if I was dancing with another guy?"

"Rip his lungs out, Slayer."

Buffy tensed, just for a moment, then tossed a stake, which landed directly in his heart. His ashes scattered to the ground. "I knew there was another vampire in here. Just couldn't figure out who. If that display scared anyone leave now."

Numbers 5, 14, 17, 18, 21, 26, 31, 36 and 37 bolted out the door, leaving two contestants.

"All right, number 10. Why should I pick you over Oz?"

Xander swallowed hard. "Actually, and I'm going to regret saying this tomorrow morning, you shouldn't. Date Oz...he's the best."

Buffy nodded. "Number 23, you're the winner. Let's get out of here," she said, and Oz extended his hand, which she held as they walked out of the room.

Spike walked over to Xander. "Good job, mate. Here's the money," he said, handing Xander a thick envelope. Inside has almost a million dollars.

"Hey, how come I get so much, anyway?"

Spike looked at him. "Xander, you learn the Slayer's happiness is priceless. Especially if it's what's keeping you around."