TITLE: Drive Me Crazy
AUTHOR: Ragna (Obsessive-Compulsive Spike)
RATING: PG
CLASSIFICATION: Buffy/Oz and Spike/Anya
SPOILERS: Set in season four or five
DISTRIBUTION: Slay This, Other sites with my fic up. Everyone else just keep my name on it and let me know.
ARCHIVED AT: http://www.angelfire.com/de/hellmouth/myfic.html
DISCLAIMER: If you don't recognize it, chances are it's my own creation. If you do, Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Kazui Sandollar, FOX and the WB own it or them. I'm just holding Spike hostage. Carolyn's got Xander, May's got Oz, Cathryn's got Ethan, Nikki's got Giles and Shelly has Angel. Gillian, for the hell of it, has Ewan McGregor, but she shares with Rae. You may see them by appointment only.
FEEDBACK: Sorry I'm not home right now I'm walking in the spiderwebs so leave a message and I'll call you back...in other words, I want it. Don't care if it's onlist or not.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Hehehe...you asked for it...And I've only driven a few times in my life... This is an answer to Alissa's challenge about driving lessons. So, to Alissa. And to Gillian, for helping me get unstuck.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"I can't believe you agreed to do this," Buffy said as Oz pulled into the parking lot.

"You're my girlfriend. I wouldn't refuse you anything," he said, smiling at her and getting out of the van.

"But...this is your *van*," she said, getting out of it as well.

"But we're not using the van," he said with a grin as Spike showed up in his new Mazda Miata. "We're using his car."

Buffy's jaw dropped. "How...how..."

"He bloody blackmailed me into it," Spike said, getting out and opening the door for Anya to get out.

She snickered. "And I helped. I'm here to make sure he doesn't go ballistic if you totaled the car."

"Don't even joke, Anyanka."

"Fine, William." She smiled as he glared at her.

"And you two are *dating*?" Buffy asked skeptically.

"We're on a true first name basis," Anya replied.

"I regret ever having that name right about now," Spike said, handing the keys to Buffy. "You ruin this car and I'll..."

"And you'll what?" Buffy replied in a mockly challenging tone.

"It'll be the end of the world as you know it."

***

"Okay...ease into it. That's right...you're not doing so bad."

Buffy smiled. With the practice she'd had before, she did basically know what she was doing. But this was the first time she'd driven a car who's driver would murder her if she ruined it and was fully capable of getting away with it.

"So, now what?"

"Pull out slowly."

She did as he instructed as the car moved forward. "Oz...I need music. Spike has decent taste. Put something in."

Oz ejected the CD in the player. "How about 'Californiction'?"

Buffy nodded, taking a turn. "Yeah. Put it on "Scar Tissue," okay?"

Oz did as he was asked, leaning back and directing her in what to do in his usual gentle way.

[Scar tissue that I wish you saw
Sarcastic mister know it all
Close your eyes and I'll kiss you 'cause
With the birds I'll share
With the birds I'll share
This lonely view
With the birds I'll share
This lonely view]

Spike glared at the car. "Why'd you help him, Anyanka?"

The girl shrugged, sitting in the open van. "It's just a *car*, Spike. Besides, if she can drive in that car, with that tint job...she can drive anything."

Spike shook his head. "Anyanka..."

"You know, everyone else calls me Anya. Why can't you?"

"You keep calling me William."

"It's your name!"

"Well, love, Anyanka's yours."

"You drive me up the wall sometimes..."

[Push me up against the wall
Young Kentucky girl in a push-up bra
Fallin' all over myself
To lick your heart and taste your health 'cause
With the birds I'll share
This lonely view...]

Buffy attempted to back up, trying her damnedest to see through the dark tint. "How am I doing?"

"Good. Though the tint seems to be giving you a problem."

"Normal people don't need cars to be this dark." She succeeded in backing up, before pulling the car into small parking space. "What are you blackmailing him with?"

"Well, he took Anya out one night and got drunk. And took some pictures. And Spike made her a bet to get the pictures back. She won the bet and kept the pictures."

Buffy was intrigued. "And what was the bet?"

"That Anya could beat him in a drag race. Which she did....which is also why he got a new car. He totaled the other one."

[Blood loss in a bathroom stall
Southern girl with a scarlet drawl
Wave good-bye to ma and pa 'cause
With the birds I'll share
With the birds I'll share
This lonely view
With the birds I'll share
This lonely view]

"Look, I'm sorry, Spike. Okay?"

He shook his head. "It doesn't matter. We just fight all the time...seems to be the bloody theme of our relationship."

"I've noticed. Look...she hasn't wrecked the car yet." Spike started to say something but she cut her off. "Wait. I'm not finished. She's stopped. So...do we want to be fighting by the time the driving lesson's over?"

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"I mean, do you still want to fight all the time or do you just want out of this relationship?"

[Soft spoken with a broken jaw
Step outside but not to brawl
Autumn's sweet we call it fall
I'll make it to the moon if I have to crawl and
With the birds I'll share
This lonely view...]

Buffy rolled down the window. "They're fighting again."

"They've been doing that since the race. You mean you didn't notice?"

She shook her head. "How did you get involved in this?"

"Anya let me have a copy of the pictures. They were of poetry Spike had written since the two of them started dating."

She stared at him for a moment then burst out laughing. "Oh, this is *too* priceless..."

Oz grinned. "Let's practice your parallel parking before we hand the car back."

After a few attempts, Buffy nailed it, pleased at how well she'd done. Pulling up to the van, she stopped.

It was quiet suddenly.

Then came the snippet of conversation. "I hate fighting with you, love. But I do it because it's the only thing either of us seem to like to do. Well, that and shagging."

"Please. You like to write, and I liked reading it."

"You did?"

"Yeah, I did. Did you think I wouldn't?"

"Actually...yes."

"God, Spike...why not?"

"You know...you can keep calling me William. But *only* you."

"And you can call me Anyanka, but only when we're alone." Then the conversation faded into muffled sounds from inside the van.

Buffy shook her head. "You know, I think I could use some more practice. Don't you?" she asked Oz.

"Why?"

"So that those two can have some time alone, silly...and so can we."

Oz nodded. "If he does...you're the Slayer. You can fight him off."

Buffy started the car up again. "Well...let's go!"