Disclaimer: Not mine. Well, I am mine and my Mom is kinda mine and while I don't claim to own Andra...oh heck, don't sue, I don't have any money anyway.

Rating: G or PG

Notes: Love ya Andra, Mom. Isn't this fun?? lol

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The Lonely Hearts meeting will now come to order. Everyone,please take a seat.

"Hey! How come we can't see your face weirdo guy?"

We're not here to discuss me and my social problems. We're all here today to help you with your own personal problems of the heart.

"Yeah,well there's something very familiar about you."

*sigh* Please, everyone state your name and tell us a little something about yourself. We will begin at my right and go around the circle.

"Y-yes, well. My name is Rupert Giles, everyone may call me Giles. I am a unemployed librarian whose girlfriend flew back to England because she thinks my life is too complicate. Me! I'm not even a bloody wat-"

Yes, thank you Giles. Next please.

"Oh, that's me. I'm Buffy and if *my* life got anymore complicated, I'D leave me. I'm here because everytime I get close to a guy, he leaves.Or dies. Or-"

Uh-hmmmm

"What?!"

"I think he's trying to say you were giving out to much info Buff. Strangers and all."

"Oh, sorry."

"Hi everyone, I'm Xander, the Buffsters bestest bud who's even unluckier in love than she is. I've been through twice as many - uh women, but I'm using the term loosely, as she has men. And again, I'm using the term loosely."

"Shut up Xander. it isn't my fault you're a dem- uh weirdo magnet."

"You have so much room to talk."

"Oh bloody shut up you wankers! My name is Spike and I'd just like to say that you are all pathetic."

So why are you here then?

"My little peach left me."

Um, then let's not call the others pathetic then.

"Whatever."

"Hi, I'm Oz."

Hello Oz, would you like to tell us something about yourself?

"No, not really. Thanks."

"Oh bloody come on! You're more pathetic than all of us. At least *my* woman didn't leave me for another woman."

"Yeah man, instead she left you for a chaos demon. You're right, mine's worse."

"You leave Dru out of this! At least she didn't leave spouting mumbo jumbo about curses,souls and celebacy then run to the first chit dressed in blue like Buffys!"

"Hey Spike, you leave Angel out of this! I can't help it you're an ass and Dru is a big ho!"

ENOUGH! Please, we must remember that we are all friends here. We're here for each other, to help, not hurt.Lets continue around the circle.

"I'm Joyce and the beautiful blond over there is my daughter, Buffy. Hi honey!"

"Hi mom."

"Hello, my name is Andra. I'm a divorced mother of three and my friend, Sharon, talked me into coming here."

Judging from your lovely,soft accent I can tell you're not from here. Do you care to tell us where you do come from?

"Oh no, not at all. I'm from Arkansas. Sharon and I came to Sunnydale to help her mother move into her new house. She just got a new job.As I stated before, the woman with the auburn hair, who doesn't look old enough to drive, let alone be here, talked me into coming to this meeting.Say hi Sharon."

"Hi all! Don't let me looks fool you, I'm not 15 or 16. I'm a recently single mother of three. I too was talked into coming here by the blond next to me."

And you are?

"Bev, mother of five, the youngest being Sharon. I've been divorced for 27 years, without a man for 17 of those."

Ah, Andra, you have your hand raised, what did you need?

"I was just wondering why these people here don't get together? They seem to have a history and when they aren't fighting they seem to really enjoy each others company."

That's a very good question. Buffy, perhaps you could answer that?

"I'm not sure what everyone's sitch is, but my mom has the hots for Spike."

"Buffy!"

"Well, it's true. Gross, but true."

"Mum! Why didn't you tell me?"

"I hate to state the obvioius Spike but there is *that* and the fact that you call my Mum all the time."

"Come on pet, let's get out of here. These poofs are bloody pathetic."

"Hey!"

"Jerk."

"I'll show you pathetic, JR."

Everyone, calm down. Spike,that wasn't very nice.

"Yeah? So what. I'm a bad, bad man. Let's go Joyce, I'm in the mood for hot chocolate."

"I have the little marshmallows at my place." Well, those two seem like they'll be happy. Strange, but happy. Does anyone have any feelings they'd like to share on what just happened? Sharon?

"Um, nothing about what just happened, but my mom has the hots for the british guy in glasses."

"Sharon Michelle!"

"Why, I-I'm flattered.Would you like to go get a cup of tea?"

Buffy, would you care to explain why you're snickering?

"He's going to bore her to death! Tea! His idea of a good time is a dusty old book that boring old scholars wrote over a hundred years ago. She'll run screaming!"

"I don't think so. My mom likes to read and her favorite past time is watching movies."

Ah see? A nice match then. Well, we seem to be dwindling. Anyone else have the 'hots' for someone?

"Sharon has been eyeing Xander like he's water and she's been in the desert for a year."

"Andra Michelle! I have not!"

"Oh please, you have too. True, you flinched when he made his comment about all the women he's been through, but you've been looking just the same."

"Yeah, that may be, but at least I'm not fantasizing about the leader and what face would go with that voice. As weird as some stuff that's been said here, he probabally has the face of a dog. Literally."

"I like her. Excuse me, Sharon wasn't it? When I said I had "been through" it isn't quite like it sounded. Wanna go somewhere and talk?"

"Well, that was interesting. Xand can use someone nice. Come on wolf boy. Let's go talk. Or I can talk and you can look cute and raise your eyebrow."

"Sure, let's go."

"I've missed you Oz. Leave like that again and I'll be forced to hunt you down and stake ya."

"Better me than shifty looking benches."

"Did she say stake?"

Hmmmm, well it's just us I see. Want to stay and finish the meeting or go somewhere to talk?

"Oh, how sweet! That sounds very nice. I noticed a coffee shop around the corner, maybe we could go there."

Good. If you don't mind, I'd like to stop off at my place and change my clothes. I don't usually wear plaid, but the small blonde was my ex-girlfriend and I want her to be happy, but she can't be with me.

"Oh, ok. But, why did you agree to lead the group if you knew she would be here?"

I had to see her again, make sure she's doing good. Besides, I had to set her and Oz up. He's had a thing for her for awhile. By the way, my name is Angel.

THE END!