Seven Habits of Highly Effective Vulcans

Note:  this is a special guest author appearance by Mister PineTrees.  
 

1.      Chicks dig aloofness.

2.      Never say "Impact in ten seconds."  Even if accurate, it gives the impression of imprecision.  Pause very briefly, and say, "Impact in nine point seven three one seconds," instead.

3.      If you cross your fingers when you say it, "Live long and prosper," really means "Die soon, dirt poor."

4.      Cool defined in four words:  raised eyebrow - blue eyeshadow

5.      Effective Vulcans choose their friends wisely.  If, for example, your best friend is somewhat intellectually challenged, he makes you appear even smarter by comparison.

6.       Never fuck with blind crazy chicks.

7.      Play it safe:  always invite your weak, easy-to-kick-their-ass friends to your Pon Farr.
 

FINIS