Chapter 1
May 4th, 12:12 p.m.
Luna
    "Rei met her fate yesterday!!" I announced.
    "Oohh, REALLY??" Minako and Makoto squealed.
    "Yup!"
    It was lunch time, and we, along with Ami were sitting in the Juuban High School cafeteria. Usagi was buying lunch, and Rei was going to join us in a few minutes. After all, she has to do a 500-meters sprint from her T&A Private Girls' School! And me... Yeah, I'm a cat, all right; I've sneaked in as usual, just to hang around!..
    Just then, Usagi plopped her tray down onto the table: "Hey, guys!!"
    "So, Rei met her fate yesterday?" Makoto asked hopefully.
    Usagi frowned, then glanced at me sitting on the floor. A sly and wide grin formed on her face, as she took her seat next to Ami: "Yeah!"
    "REALLY?? How????" Minako eagerly leaned in to Usagi across the table.
    "Luna threw her out of the window!"
    The girls applauded at me, whistling.
    I bowed proudly.
    Ami didn't do anything, because she was stuck up to her ears in a pathalogoanatomy (whew!) book and a tofu sandwich. (How fascinating!!..)
    Suddenly, I felt somebody crashing my tail.
    I screeched and looked up at... Rei (why, oh, why did she have to wear wooden platforms today!!? They're against school code, anyway!), who snatched me at the nape of my neck, brought up, and turned me around so I would face her. "So you threw me out of the window?!" she growled.
    I didn't have anything to lose, so I screamed: "No!! I threw out Usagi's red tamagotchi named Rei!!!"
    "Rei?! Why is her name Rei?"
    Since she let me go, I decided to go ahead. "Well, as you know, Usagi is a big fan of tamagotchi, right?" I surveyed the girls.
    Rei sat down: "And?"
    "And she's got a big collection of dead red tamagotchi, whom she had exterminated with starvation, didn't let to go to the bathroom, and gave only ice-cold baths to. The last one was named Rei."
    "So?" Rei got suspicious.
    Usagi was showing me in the all known and unknown ways behind Rei's back that she'll kill me if I'll tell, but I carried on to the most interesting part.
    "So!.." I stretched my paws. "Do you know the voodoo dolls?.."
    Rei flung away her chair and hurled herself into the attack at Usagi: "I've had constipation for two weeks because of you!!!!"
    Usagi cried something that sounded like, "HUH?" before it was the usual scuffle.

May 4th, 1:20 p.m.
Rei
    I said bye to everyone and rushed out of Juuban High. I was being late again! Enough of this lunatic running to and fro between schools! I can peacefully have my lunch at the T&A's cafeteria! Besides, I can't even eat an itty-bitty bit of anything without that crazy Usagi making me lose my temper! No wonder Mamoru dumped her because of her idiocy! A complete dumb! Lost SUCH a guy! He's so gentle, funny, charming, strong... Sigh. Not at all like those other guys I've met. Usagi doesn't deserve him one bit! Period.
    I stormed into the Sociology classroom five minutes late. Hate Sociology. Hate Ms. Haimisu! (Her name is translated as Old Maid. That's what she is! I mean, dry, small woman of around 50, with a careful bun of white hair and a crow's nose. Yick. You know, once we played this trick on her where I lost truth or dare game and had to spill a bucketful of water at Haimisu. Her bun untied, her white hair cascaded down to her knees, and she was standing there, wet as a mouse, angry as a dog, and thin as a fish. I don't want to recall what she had done to me...) Now she was perched at her desk, rustling with some papers. Suddenly, she raised her head and looked at me with her steel-like blue eyes.
    I thought that she was going to say something about me being late again for this darned Sociology, but instead she croaked: "Girlie, come over here, please."
    Girlie!!?
    HATE HER. HATE SOCIOLOGY.
    So I 'came over there'.
    "Yes?" I said as I faced her.
    "See?" She pointed at some forms with my name in them, listing my credits.
    I looked at them. Plain credits.
    I cocked my eyebrows.
    "Well, you do not have enough of them," Ms. Haimisu informed me.
    "What do you mean I don't have enough?!" I blurted out. "This year I took tennis, basketball, volleyball, soccer, Karate, U-shu, running track, plus swimming, which I HATE, but took it anyway to get extra credits. What else do you want from me?! To take more Algebra?!!?"
    She sized me up: "Rules changed. Now you have to gain 30 credits instead of 25, so you have to take one more course for about a month."
    "Great. Wonderful! Perfect!" I murmured.
    Ms. Haimisu frowned. "What, Ms. Hino?"
    "Nothing."
    Now I'll have to be listed somewhere! And I wanted to have the whole last month free so I could study more for the exams! Darn it!
    "Then sign me up for some courses," I told her.
    She clicked at her desktop. "Well, this is all set... This is set... That is full... That is... Oh! There is horseback riding," she said. "It gives you five credits in just three weeks."
    "All right."
    "Okay. You have to come to T&A Private Boys' School - you know, the next building?"
    My eyes widened: "Sure I know the way!"
    I caught jealous stares from my classmates.
    Hehe!
    The teacher carried on: "Just around the building, into the backyard. And in the left corner you will see the horse stalls. The classes are held every day after school for one and a half hours."
    I groaned. Aloud.
    Ms. Haimisu gave me a weird look. And finished: "The horseback riding instructor is an American exchange student, so... Good luck."
    "Is it a male exchange student???" I almost cried out, but then decided to close my mouth.

    "How COULD YOU!?" Kotono Sarashina, my good friend from T&A, yelled at me.
    She and the other girls cornered me after school.
    "You can't take that dumb course!" said one girl. "We already have everything scheduled; there's a concert in two weeks! You should sing at it!"
    I sweared under my breath: "And what can I do?! Otherwise I won't easily pass to college!"
    Everyone flared up.
    "Then I'll sing instead of you!" Kotono declared.
    Good friend! Best friend! Oh, yeah!!
    I cursed silently. Usually I do that aloud, but now what could I say? I need to get those darned credits! How I'd like to fry that damn geek who changed the rules!..
    In five minutes I stood before a giant red barn in T&A Private Boys' School's backyard.
    The sun's rays were shining directly into my eyes, the flies were buzzing over the neat piles of horse... excuse me, pooping, and the horses were munching on hay in the stalls. Actually, I couldn't see any horses; only their fat and dirty butts.
    And there was this... this... SMELL. Darn, can't they use any, like, perfume or air freshener??!
    So I stood there admiring the picture, when I heard footsteps.
    I turned around. To see a cowboy. A picture-perfect cowboy. You know, jeans, blue shirt, brown hat, and of course, boots.
    What a weirdo!
    "What are you doing here?" he demanded with some strange accent.
    "Well, actually I came here... to... Actually, I signed up for the course," I said, somewhat, like, proudly.
    He raised an eyebrow: "A course?"
    "Yeah, horseback riding."
    "Ah, then I'm your instructor."
    Not the best impression on either side.
    I decided to get straight to the business. "And what should I do?"
    He sized me up. Then he lifted up two buckets, one filled with scrubs, the other with water (dirty and stinky water, I could tell), and... handed them to me. "Clean the stables for a start," he ordered and went out.
    That was too much!
    I dropped the buckets and put my hands on my hips. "Who the hell do you think I am?!?" I shouted.
    "A student," he threw over his shoulder.
    A STUDENT!?
    I punched the bucket of water with my foot, swore, and stormed out.

    I found Ms. Haimisu in the principle's office during the teachers conference.
    "Ms. Haimisu! I need to talk!" I yelled, not caring less that all the teachers, the principle, the vice-principle, two secretaries, supply managers, and three owners of the school were crowded in the room.
    Ms. Haimisu darted out of the office, panicking: "What?! Somebody died??"
    "No," I said. "But I'll be dead toward the third week if I'll take this course! Can you sign me up for something ELSE??"
    "Something else? And what is wrong?" The teacher flapped her eyelashes.
    "I DON'T WANT TO CARRY HORSE POOPING AROUND FOR THREE WEEKS!!!!" I shrieked.
    "SHH!! SHH!!!!" Ms. Haimisu hurriedly shut the door behind us. "Do not scream like that! And besides, there is only one free place left!"
    "I'll take it! I'll take it!!" I screeched. "I'll take ANYTHING beside that!!!"
    "SHHH!!!" the teacher hissed. "It's water polo."
    I blinked. "POLO?! What's THAT!?"
    "It is sort of like water soccer."
    I blinked again.
    "But the problem is," continued Ms. Haimisu, "this course is lasting for THREE months."
    My jaw landed at my feet. "But -  but - " I sputtered. "The exams are in a MONTH!!"
    "So, take horseback riding."
    I gave up. "And who's assigned with me, anyway?!"
    "You..." She reached into her blazer's pocket and took out a notepad. "You and..."
    I peeked there. There was my name. Rei Hino. And that's it.
    "Just you," said Ms. Haimisu.
    "Oh, man!!.."
    She shrugged indifferently, opened the door, and stiffly closed it behind her.

    One thing about me: if I'm not right, I'll never confess. I'll be arguing, fighting, yelling, anything - anything but agree I was wrong, but meanwhile I'll secretly and silently correct my mistakes.
    So I silently and secretly creeped over the fence to the barn. Then I filled the buckets with (FRESH) water, took the rakes, and entered the stalls. The mashed hay and pooping mix was everywhere. And I mean EVERYWHERE. It was covering the entire floor. I tiptoed among it to the furthest wall and began my... COURSE, the only thought in my head being, 'Hell, do the horses poop THAT much!?'
    I guessed they do...
    In two hours I was all finished and took a look around.
    Magnificent.
    Then I took a look at myself. No traces of the expensive perfume that I'd hunted for three months at this sale. My dear perfectly ironed uniform was covered with... YOU KNOW WHAT. My white kneesocks were splotched with... AGAIN YOU KNOW WHAT. Plus my hair was a tangled mess, in which were hanging a few pieces of... AGAIN you know what along with hay. HOW THE HELL DID IT GET THERE?!??? Maybe the horses dropped it on me while I was scrubbing??..
    Pretty picture.
    "So you're back?" said a male voice behind me.
    I whirled around, slipped on... you-know-what, and landed into the pile of... straight to the point: horse shit.
    EW!!!!
    Before I knew it, some strong hands lifted me off the ground, and I found my nose being pressed against a... chest.
    I raised my head.
    Boy, is he HANDSOME!!!.. I mean, that cowboy weirdo!
    Weirdo?! No way!!
    His short light brown, almost blonde hair was falling over his eyes, which were the lightest shade of blue... And he had such sensitive and kissable lips... Plus there weren't that stupid hat on his head...
    Yeah...
    So I gazed up at him dreamily... And he gazed down at me, too... me being in his protective arms...
    And we stood there gazing like idiots for five minutes.
    Oi!!!!
    I jerked out of his hug: "Yeah! Uh..."
    Usually I always have something to say. But THIS was different.
    A sneer spread across his lips. "So, what are you doing here?" he asked.
    "Actually," I said, boiling, "I've just cleaned out your over-pooped horse stalls!"
    "Oh, I can smell it," he wrinkled his nose, sizing me up.
    This guy keeps making me flaring up... Just hate it!! All the time it was ME, who did that!!!
    I turned around and raised my foot... The dear exit was in just ten steps...
    "You know, I've never had such a great student."
    I looked at him over my shoulder: "REALLY?"
    "Yeah," he nodded. "But you forgot to clean out that corner."
    I made another step, fuming, and glanced at my blotted with... AHEM, watch. "I've been here for two hours," I told him crossly. "Now I gotta go."
    "But you didn't feed the horses!"
    "I SAID, I GOTTA GO." I took the third step...
    "Okay! I'll see you tomorrow at five a.m.!"
    In a flash I was back in front of him: "WHAT DO YA MEAN, AT FIVE A.M.?!?!!!!"
    "I mean exactly at five a.m."
    Grrrr...
    He continued: "I mean, since you're the only student, and there are six horses, it's YOUR job to feed them, to water them, to clean them, to walk them..."
    "And when I'll RIDE them!?"
    "You can ride them when you'll learn how to keep them."
    "I DON'T WANT TO KEEP A HORSE!!!! I have enough pet crows!!!"
    "Not my problem." He smiled.
    He had very white teeth... How I wanted to break them out!!
    So I whirled around on my heels, managing to not slip on you-know-what, and stomped out.
    "Five a.m., remember?" he called after me.
    I shuddered.

 When I came home, in front of my sliding door I saw one pair of ragged white sneakers (obviously Makoto's), neat patent-leathered school loafers (Ami's, whose else?), orange platform thongs (Minako's), dirty blue low-heeled boots (Usagi's, I know. Who else would wear winter boots in May?), and... two brick-like black strapped shoes (Chib - I mean, Serenie's).
    And also I heard gushed voices from behind the screen:
    "Wooo... Oohh, wow!.. Look at him! What a cutie!!.."
    "Yeah!! He's all tan and muscular!!!"
    "G-g-girls!.. What are you DOING??.."
    "Shut up, Ami! Look at his pecs and lower abdomen!!.."
    "Ohh, yeah! And his underwear!!!!.."
    The last one belonged to Serenie.
    WHO IS IN MY ROOM?!?!????
    I slid the door open.
    Serenie slapped shut the magazine, which she was holding, threw it into the box, and flunked it under my bed.
    MY bed!?
    MY box?!
    I held my breath.
    The girls were busily pretending to be exploring my manga collection.
    How innocent!!
    "What were you doing?!?!" I shrieked.
    "Nothing!" said Serenie.
    "But what were you doing with my 'Guy & His Bod' magazine collection!?"
    Everyone stared at me hard.
    "So!!.." Usagi croaked. "The whole BOX of..! Woooo!!!"
    "Go, Rei!!" the girls chimed in.
    I wanted my carpet to swallow me. Certainly, my tongue is my fatal enemy.
    Usagi wanted to add something, but then her nostrils widened, as well as her eyes, which were gaping at me. "Air freshener, somebody!!" she jumped up, hand over her mouth, terrified.
    Everyone sniffed the air.
    "Someone pooped?" guessed Makoto.
    "Yeah," I muttered. "Right at me."

    "Hey, Rei-chan!!" Yuuichirou barged into the bathroom where I was taking an aroma bath because of the fact that the shower didn't work.
    I wanted to drown. "Get out!!!" I screamed.
    He saw me and blushed: "Uh!.. It's... um... I just... I mean... Your grandpa wants to talk to you... So... uh... you better go to him."
    "Right now?!" I started to rise from the bath...
    "NO!!!!!" he yelled frantically, thrust me the towel, and tumbled out.
    I stormed into the kitchen, wet mess of hair, red bathrobe, tiger fuzzy slippers, anger burning inside, and other stuff.
    "Whatcha need, Gramps?!" I demanded.
    Grandpa squinted at me through his bifocals (even though his eyes were squinted, they looked sort of like an owl's though those thick lenses). "My dinner," he said grimly, shuffling with the piles of papers laid out before him on the table.
     Oii... It really was my turn to make dinner today! I've been too busy with that horse shit...
    But I wasn't about to admit it!
    So I put my hands on my hips: "And why can't YOU do it? Weak on your hands?.."
    He poked his glasses into the papers. "I want my dinner."
    I stomped to the counters, grabbed out two microwave cup soups, filled them with cold water, shoved them into the microwave, yanked them out in five seconds, threw one in front of Gramps and one in front of me, and plopped down in my seat.
    "The dinner's served," I announced sarcastically.
    So hard to do, yeah? Takes a lot of time and all, you know?..
    Grandpa glared in disgust at his soup: "Rei-chan, will you EVER learn how to actually cook!!.." (He still calls me 'Rei-chan' like I'm some little kid! Duh!)
    "Any problems? Fast and delicious!" I poked at my mushroom souce noodles. They really looked disgusting.
    But I won't admit it!
    "And it's again tomato soup!" Grandpa grumbled. "I've had it yesterday!"
    I reached out for his cup with a killer expression on my face.
    He clung to his soup for his dear life: "No."
    "But you said you don't want it! I can throw it out!"
    He ripped out the pathetic soup and grimly started eating.
    So there!
    I took a long look at my disgusting mushroom souce noodles. I chewed on one for a while and spat it back. Then I sipped a bit of the sauce and gurgled it out before I vomited. Finally I locked the lid and threw it into the trash can.
    Grandpa was eyeing me the whole time. Then he finished his tomatoes.
    I hastily got up and was about to flee before he'll ask -
    He asked.
    "Please, Rei-chan, can you help me with this balance?" he pleaded tearfully.
    I shuddered. "No." And lifted my foot to step out.
    "But Rei-chan! I don't get anything here! It's all too complicated! And today's the last day!!"
    Grumbling, I returned and parked at the pillow.
    "Oh, thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Rei-chan!!" Gleaming Grandpa snatched me up in a grateful hug.
    I grinned: "One hundred bucks."
    He recoiled: "NO WAY!! And, oh, my Gods!!.. How many yens that would be!!!.."
    "Stop counting in yens!" I snapped. "We're talking about bucks."
    "But if I'll pay you those one hundred... bucks, I won't have ANY balance!"
    "Don't play bankrupted."
    I started to rise, but heard the money rustling in Grandpa's purse.
    "Okay, okay," he murmured and practically shoved the one hundred dollar bill into my face. "Here ya go, robber!"
    I carefully pulled the bill out of his fist and straightened it out. Boy, how beautiful it looked! I mean, not the what's-his-name president, but the numbers! Just as carefully I folded it and tucked it behind the bathrobe's belt. "Now, let's get down to business!"
    Grandpa was happily washed away.
    I took his place before the mountains of papers, which I'll have to make into something readable for Grandpa to hand to the tax officers next morning.
    I pulled at my fingers.
    One hundred bucks worth it!

    At 3:30 in the morning I finally placed the last sheet of paper on the sky-high pile of finished balance and started my crawling journey to my room.
    It was dead-cold at the verandah, so I was creeping on numb feet, hugging myself, teeth clattering. When I was walking (I mean, 'numbing') by Grandpa's bedroom, I saw some flashes inside.
    I slowly slid the door.
    There he was. Playing Doom 64. At that specific moment some gory chunk flew into his hero, and the Rumble Pack jerked in Grandpa's hands.
    I shook my head: "Gramps, you're an idiot."
    "Yeah, yeah, I know... What!? What did you say, Rei?!?"
    "That you're deaf."
    "What?"
    "Blow off."
    When I finally got to my dear beloved bed, it was 3:41 a.m. Darn those horses... They can poop well without me! That cowboy can't make me to do the work of six girls!
    Thus, with a clear conscience, I set up the alarm clock at the usual time, 7:00, since my classes begin at eight. I'd just like to know for what HELL did my Grandpa send me to a Catholic school where I have to listen to a morning prayer for half an hour if I'm SHINTO?! And besides, I could sleep for thirty more minutes!.. Oh, well... Another Gramps's idiocy...

Chapter 2