• Origins of the Name 'Paedrag Gaidin'
• The Man behind The Name
• Stuff I Like, Stuff I Don't

Gaidin literally means "brother to battles" in the Old Tongue, and is the formal title for a Warder. As for "Paedrag," not only is it the ancient Irish form of my given name, but in the Wheel of Time books, one of the renowned Heroes of the Horn is one "Paedrig the Golden-Tongued Peacemaker," who moreover was known as "Patrick" in other Ages. This was simply too good an opportunity to pass up, so I changed one letter and "Paedrag" was born.

Over the ensuing years, various online friends shortened Paedrag into several nicknames, including Paed, Peed, and Pea. Later, I adopted three other enduring online names, The Sleepless Wonder (the origins of which necessitate a long story), Asmodean, and Shaidar Haran, the latter two of whom are my favorite evil characters from the Wheel of Time. Concerning Shaidar Haran:

It has been said that all Myrddraal are virtually alike, but at least one variation from the norm has been sighted. It is a Myrddraal unlike all others. Its very name, Shaidar Haran, meaning "Hand of the Dark," is in the Old Tongue, rather than in the Trolloc language like the names of all other Halfmen. Where most Myrddraal are the height of a tall man, Shaidar Haran stands taller by several feet, towering head and shoulders above man and Halfman alike. Its demeanor is one of arrogance, rather than servitude, even to the point of commanding Forsaken, and it has evinced a definite dark sense of humor, something previously unknown among Myrddraal.

World of Robert Jordan's The Wheel of Time

And as for Asmodean:

Probably the man among the Forsaken with the most unusual reason for turning to the Shadow is Asmodean. A dark-eyed, dark-haired, handsome man, Joar Addam Nessosin was an acclaimed composer before the War of the Shadow. Born in the small port city of Shorelle (location unknown), he was a child prodigy, in both composition and performance on a wide range of instruments.... It is reliably reported that his reason for dedicating his soul to the Shadow was the promise of immortality. With eternity at his disposal, surely he would reach [the] greatness and, perhaps even more important, the recognition of it that had eluded him. It is believed that he never held any field commands, though he did take part in a number of battles on some level, and he served as a governor of conquered areas.

World of Robert Jordan's The Wheel of Time

Yes, I fully realize that most of this probably seems silly to some, but I really don't care. At least I have tried to be somewhat original in picking online "screen names," unlike the masses who concoct such things as "JoeBlow1986" and "SexxxyTeenChick." I pretty much try to keep the online and "real-life" personae as close as possible, except where Shaidar Haran's "evilness" is concerned. I'm no great actor, and nor do I ever hope to be, and I see little use in extensively masking my real personality when I engage in online conversations. I will say that I am much more outgoing online than I am in real life, where my social life is virtually nonexistant.

The Banners of Paedrag Gaidin

All that having now been said, who am I? I am a nearly-25-year-old half-mad student/budding web designer from Wichita, Kansas, currently studying to be a Library of Congress-certified Braille Transcriber. I also kill time and amass large quantities of knowledge (and the occasional frustration) by sidelining as a Technical Assistant at my institute, the Kansas Braille Transcription Institute, in addition to being KBTI's Webmaster. This being my only current means of income, I am also a former Evil Telemarketer, a former Grocery Courtesy Clerk (a.k.a. sacker), and a former Failed College Freshman. I live with my younger sister in a tiny apartment on Wichita's Eastside, a mere two blocks from the small house where I spent most of my childhood. As can probably be seen, I'm not exactly one who's been far from home very often. Nor do I really care.

If you're interested in my ethnicity, I cagily consider myself to be half-white. This is both a genuine description of my particular ancestral heritage, according to current racial attitudes, and an indictment of that same system. I am half Lebanese (i.e. Arab, Middle Eastern Heritage, Dangerous Subversive Element) and something like half Irish with a little English and Scottish thrown in for good measure (i.e. Caucasian, Dead White Guy Heritage, Real American Stock). As you can see, I'm not really a fan of either the multiculturalist idiocy that regards everything but European heritage to be great and glorious, or the current American attitude that people of Middle Eastern origin are by nature not really Americans and are a threat to Western Civilization besides. I resent both of these fallacies.

Here in America's 50th Largest City, or, as we like to call her, the Air Capital of the World, I think I'm something of an anomaly. In a heavily Baptist and Methodist region of the Bible Belt, I'm a devout Roman Catholic. In a city dominted by a split citizenry of conservative Republican and liberal Democrat, I am a conservative Libertarian. [For religious and political elaborations, please see my faith and politics pages.] In a place where driving at the age of sixteen is considered a divinely-bestowed right and one step short of a qualification for citizenship, I have never driven and nor do I plan to learn. With bars and liquor stores all over the map, I don't drink. Putting those last two together, I also don't drink and drive, which is more than I can say for a third of the city's populace on your average Saturday night.

I don't party, don't dance, don't go clubbing, obviously don't go draggin' Douglas late at night, am not affiliated with sports or other forms of physical recreation, and would rather die than cruise around in a half-stupor on the weekends, as many in my local age group are wont to do. In fact, to a very large extent you could say that I have absolutely no social life whatsoever, which I have already alluded to. I changed schools often, and did not maintain many relationships from them. When I see old classmates, it's usually on a less than annual basis. I've had two girlfriends, and none currently, and see absolutely no prospects of having one again anytime soon. Apart from my family, Church, work, and the Knights of Columbus, in what passes for "real life" I socialize not at all. And maybe I am a mite bit anti-social, but I've been this way since my early teenage years, and I doubt it's going to change with any degree of certainty.

I do, however, read and write, and both quote well, if I do say so myself. Books are my social life, to put it bluntly. And while that probably sounds provincial and cowardly, look at it from my perspective: For one who was born premature, sickly, and near death, who grew up to become physically unattractive and ceaselessly assailed by medical difficulties, the gift of an able mind geared to bookish pursuits and quietness is nothing short of divine. The way I figure, fifty years ago I wouldn't have survived my birth at all, and fifty years from now technology or invasive social mores will probably have rendered premature weaklings like myself a thing of the past. I was fortunate enough to be born at a time when neonatal medicine, though still in its infancy, was far enough along to give me some little hope of life (though I attribute this mostly to true Divine intervention), though by rights I should not have lived a single day. I may have a myriad of physical issues, but I could also have easily had brain damage or developed mental retardation. I am lucky and blessed to have a functioning and voracious thinking apparatus.

I'm also not exactly Mr. Optimism. Geared towards quiet though it may be, my mind and soul are also rather geared towards a certain melancholy. It's probably the result of a lifetime lived with too little sleep and too much medication, combined with the past four years' personal losses and their associated stress. I am usually polite to a fault and, according to most people, generally a very nice guy, but I can also be moody as hell and given to fits of depression and moroseness. This is also something I doubt will be changing anytime soon. But oh well.

So, what do I like to read, watch, listen to? The short version of it would be "I am a metalhead with a classical-trained ear who enjoys a good action flick and pretty much avoids television, and is consummately addicted to literature." For the longer version, follow the yellow-brick link.