First entry. Well, what is there to say, really? I'm single again, healthy, relatively happy, financially stable, surrounded by good friends and family. And yet, I feel this disturbing sense of something lacking in my life. Something besides the mundane 9-to-5 existence I've etched out for myself since graduating last May. I feel like Belle in Beauty and the Beast (I was always able to identify with her... maybe that's why it's my favorite Disney movie). She wanted more out of life than being some man's little wife. I want more out of life than editing state regulations. I'm not sure what that is though. Perhaps it will come to me someday. I'm just afraid I'm going to get comfortable in my suburban mediocrity and one of my professors warned me about that awhile ago. He says it has its benefits, but in the long run you just grow old and bored. And I guess I'm afraid that will happen to me, before I even realize it.

Moby's website is so cool. I wish I were a famous rock star who could sit and post little tidbits of my day on a website and have millions of people read about it. I guess I'll just try to reach a relatively small audience. Aim low, that way if you fail you're not disappointed. That's always been my motto! :-)

But seriously, I'm bored. Bored with life, bored with my friends, bored with my job, bored with myself. Nothing exciting ever happens and it's so easy for me to blame it on outside circumstances... like Dale or something. But deep down I know that if I want any excitement, I have to go out and create it on my own. It's hard to go out nowadays though. My little self-imposed exile is serving me well. Ironic, isn't it? I want all of this great stuff to happen, but it takes all of my mental strength to set foot outside of my own damn door. I guess I could hate Dale for doing that to me... for making me fear my own shadow, but that'd be too easy. I yell at him for blaming other people for his problems, so I guess I shouldn't be a hypocrite. It's just hard to garner any enthusiasm when you feel like you've already seen and done everything life has to offer. Sad part is I'm not even 23 yet.

Well, a pleasant weekend was had by all. I mostly hung out with friends, got m'self a new dress, and hung out with Mom and Sister yesterday.

Reading an article right now on school shootings. It bugs the hell out of me when people blame the damn media or bands or whatever. It especially chaps my ass that KMFDM were associated with Columbine just because Son of a Gun was quoted on one of those psycho's websites. They were referred to as a "German Nazi band" which I find laughable, seeing as at least one of the band members is black! Regardless, people need to get their information straight... especially the fucking media.

What else is on my mind right now? Hmmm...... well, as always, the issues with the ex, but I've determined in the past 36 hours or so that a continuance of our friendship is probably impossible at this point. He doesn't seem to know or even care for that matter what a true friend is. I won't go into any of the gory details, but it's been a rough day or two. Time to move out and move on. Time to get the idea in my head that I'm alone right now and okay with it. I know deep down that I'm okay with it, but sometimes, most of the time, things are rough when you're used to seeing the same person day in and day out - the one you think you're going to marry. Yes, I miss him. Yes, I love him still and probably always will. But do I want to be friends with someone like him? Well, let's put it this way. If anyone else were doing this kind of shit to me, I wouldn't be their friend. So why should he get special treatment? I still haven't found an answer to that question, so I'm going to assume that there is no answer...

I was damn good to him though. Damn good. I was near perfect and he's admitted that to me about a million times. I thought nothing of meeting him at the door with a cold beer in hand, dressed only in thongs (yee-owser!), with dinner on the stove. I thought nothing of buying him cartons of cigarettes when I knew he was down and out financially. I fought long and hard to save this relationship and it seems to me he gave up his side of the "fight" or whatever about 2 hours into the relationship.

Bah, now is not the time to sit here and be bitter. Hell, there never IS anytime to sit and be bitter. Out of sight, out of mind. The more I live without him, the easier it will be.

3 words - All Good Festival. 2 more days till we leave. 2 1/2 more days of work for me this week. And then onto 3 days of fun, music, sun, camping, friends, altered consciousness, and all of that fun stuff. I'm so friggin' excited I can hardly concentrate at work. I can barely sleep at night. I've been tired as hell all damn week. I can barely focus on this journal entry!

I'll probably be writing an entry about the festival after this weekend. :)

Well, if it weren't bad enough, it's bad now. I'll write about the festival probably tomorrow. Not that it matters because no one seems to read this damn thing anyway besides me.

He had the balls to DEFEND the girl he cheated on me with. I referred to her as a "fat tramp" and he told me not to call her a "tramp." (He didn't say a word about me calling her "fat" though, which leads me to believe that he thinks she's fat... which really makes me laugh, in a way...) So I do a little bit of sleuthing and I have come to realize that he is, indeed, at the very least, talking to her again. Which, of course, then makes me wonder how long they've been talking to one another. Were we still dating? Was it when we still lived together? After he moved out? I just don't know. Did he fuck her in my bed? Etc... and guess what? Those questions will forever remain unanswered. I finally took the last steps to completely delete him out of my life forever. I've erased all of his information from my computer... his email addresses out of my Yahell address book, his handles off of my buddy lists, any way whatsoever that I have to contact him is now completely off. I will retain his phone number until after I move out of this apartment, just in case anything last minute comes up with the lease.

I feel good. Damn good. But I'm sad, of course. However, it is now time for me to be strong and finally come to grips with the fact that this asshole was simply NOT worth the 2 1/2 years I spent with him. He has shown that to me in a way I could finally understand today. Of all days. But whatever. I just have to keep thinking that it's better I know now than 10 years down the road when we're married, have a mortgage, and 2 kids or whatever. It's better that I weed out the weak ones now that I don't have any of that shit to tie me to him. Right now the only things tying us together is his stupid sleeping bag that I borrowed for this weekend and this damn lease (which will be up in about 2 months or so - DAMN... I have to start apartment hunting!!!). And after 2 months, there will be nothing connecting us. Hell, he fucking ignores all of the friends he made through me anyways. And I'm willing to bet anything it's because he knew all along that he was a slimey asshole-snake and didn't want to get too attached because he fucking knew all along what a bastard he was and that he'd eventually be "kicked out" of the group.

He's slime. Such fucking slime. I cannot believe I gave him so many chances. I cannot believe I opened up myself, my friends, my family, everything to him and THIS is how he repays me. By crawling back to some fat, bleach-blonde tramp. I just cannot fucking believe this. This really takes the cake. I guess that just goes to show that it really does take ALL kinds...

Kharma's a bitch though. I saw a shirt this past weekend, modelled off of the Mastercard logo and it said "Karma: It's everywhere you're going to be." It's so true. And he'd better watch the fuck out. I ain't gonna be there, I ain't gonna be any part of it, but somefuckingday this will ALL bite him in the ass big-time. Someday... and I can't wait. I probably won't ever know about it, but I know I'll go to my grave knowing 100% surely that he got what he deserved in this life. He claims to be a Buddhist, but trust me. The boy has little to no empathy whatsoever and that's pretty much what their religion is based on. He's such a hypocrite it almost makes me giggle.

Someday...

Well, I got it from the ultimate authority that they've emailed each other a few times, but according to him, she wants nothing to do with him. "Bad memories." Well, if that's the truth, then at least she's wisened up a bit about him and his callous attitude towards everyone who's ever given a rat's ass about him. I was telling a co-worker of mine that I no longer feel any pity for him and I really don't. He's managed to push away everyone in his life, except for his family and his online friends. Now he's back in his comfy virtual world. I guess that's where he feels happiest. I don't know if I can honestly say I don't feel sorry for him anymore. But really, I don't think I do. I realize now that it's HIS choice to be this way... everyone has done what they can to help him out of his shell, but all he seems to do is reject us. Michelle and CJ have managed to chalk it up, so I guess now it's my turn.

I'm feeling stronger everyday. Maybe I will end up alone the rest of my life. But I'd rather be all alone than with some asshole like he is.

Moving right along... my cold is almost gone. I have some congestion, but hopefully that'll be gone within a week. If it's not, I guess it's back to the doctor's I go. I have a physical scheduled for this Thursday, so I'm hoping it'll all be gone by then so I can go in and get it over with.

Alas, I'm at work with tons to do. So no more lingering here for me.

I'm annoyed because I have TWO doctor's appointments tonight and I don't feel like going to either one of them, even though I know I have to. Dammit. Maybe I'll call and reschedule.

Nothing new to report on this end, other than I'm at work right now and obviously not doing any work. Even though I have 5 things on my "To Do" list to get done today. I wanted to get all of this shit done, but of course, I got bogged down by other stuff that came up. Bah. Damn State.

I've been reading a lot of Moby's journal entries on his website. That man is so damn amusing. The last one I read said that he thinks George W. Bush is stalking him (meant in a joking way...). I found that to be mildly entertaining. I don't even know if GW even knows the meaning of the word "stalking." I wonder what his thoughts are on that. I know if I were cool enough to get a mention on Moby's website, I'd shout it out to the whole world. Lots of respect for that man. I dig his eclectic mixture of music. I mean, Everything is Wrong and Animal Rights sound like two totally different musicians. I can respect that... I like hearing bands and musicians evolve with their sound. Hence my utter respect for KMFDM. Just found out they're touring and coming to DC in June. Hot damn. I'd love to go, but it'd be just my luck to run into psycho-Mike there. Not that that would sway me from going or anything. Plus I found out Rasputina is coming to the Ottobar. How cool would THAT be to see them play in a tinyass club in Baltimore????? I saw them a few years back when they toured with Manson. The lead singer-chick was obnoxious with her comments on stage (said things such as "If I get phelgm in my throat from eating cheese, can I sue the people who made the cheese?" or something to that effect).

Okay, I'm feeling guilty. Back to work I go!

I'm sitting here wondering if anyone actually reads this. If someone actually reads this, I'm wondering if they'd be so kind as to email me or leave a message in my guestbook. Just wondering if there's anybody out there who cares to read these longass ramblings of mine.

You know what's nice and what I missed but didn't realize I missed? Going out on dates. Meeting new people. I'd grown stagnant since dating the asshole. Now that he's officially dead to me, I'm slooooooooowly starting to remember what it feels like to be excited about an upcoming date.

I now have "Rearviewmirror" by Pearl Jam. "Saw things.... saw things.... Clearer.... Clearer! Once you... were in my... rearview mirror!!!" That song never ceases to hype me up. So true, so true.

Going apartment hunting today. I'm leaving work in about an hour to get on my way. I found a place in Annapolis that looks good and then 3 others in Glen Burnie. I can't believe I've been in that apartment for almost a year now! Seems like I just moved in. Or, rather, it seems like I've been there forever. A weird contradictory feeling, ya know? It'll be good though. I can't wait to move and get rid of my morning/afternoon commute to work and back. Plus I can't wait to be outta there so there will be no more lingering memories of the past year. It's hard to believe it was this time one year ago that I found out. Funny how much things have changed, meaning ME specifically. Honestly, I don't see much of a change in asshole-loser, though I guess I can finally admit I was fooling myself all along.

And then there's this whole dating-thing. I don't think I like it... at least, not right now. Not saying that any of my dates so far have been crappy. Quite the contrary... I've enjoyed myself a great deal and I've met some interesting people. But I'm just not ready to deal with it yet, nor have I met anyone that I'd want to be totally monogamous with or anything. I guess it just takes patience to get back into the swing of things, but patience has never been one of my virtues.

Time to focus on one thing at a time. And my top priority is finding an apartment. One that's relatively big, in a decent area, and doesn't cost me an arm and a leg every month.

On a happier note, this weekend I realized once again why I love all of my friends so much. Honestly, I couldn't have a more supportive bunch around me. :)

For some reason, this date sounds familiar to me. Like someone's birthday or a deadline or something... I think it might be that I have to have my student loan payments in by the 12th of every month and that's what's freaking me out. Oh well... if I missed a birthday, I missed a birthday. I hope not. But if I did, oh well.

One of my co-workers told me about 2 minutes ago that she thinks I'm too stressed out right now and that I should take a Mental Health Day. Ha. As if. I might take off on the 21st, but I don't know yet. I am stressed, but I'm chalking it up to the apartment-deal. Got the application in, now I just have to sit and wait for it to be approved. If I get approved, there's a good chance I won't have to give a security deposit. Which would be LOVELY.

Nothing else is new in the exciting world of Sara. My sister leaves at the end of July to move to sunny San Diego. I can hardly believe it. I don't think it's hit me yet, but the day she leaves, I know that all of us will be in tears (except for maybe her boyfriend, Derek, of course :)). Mom is going to have it rough... she's so attached to the two of us and I'm sure seeing one of her "babies" move 3,000 miles away won't be easy on her.

Cool. There are guys in front of my window here in the office cleaning them. It sounds cool.

Well, I just have one thing to say. On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being totally over him and 1 being psycho-obsessive over him, I'd say I'm right around a 9. This is a good feeling, all brought on by someone I met recently. Nothing serious or whatever, but it's good to finally enjoy another person's presence for an extended period of time. But I think it's mostly me realizing, I guess through this guy and through a couple of others that I've been out with that Dale is really the one who lost out here, not me. I know I've said that a million times over, but the past few days have really reinforced that notion. I guess I just needed someone to point that out to me, in a way.

I feel like that didn't make any sense whatsoever. But I know what I mean, so I guess that's all that counts. :)

So there I am... online, checking my email, minding my own business (for once), and out of the blue, stupidasshole ex IMs me and proceeds to tell me he misses me. Long story short, I think I finally made it clear to him that it's over between the two of us for GOOD. As in, I don't even have the desire to be FRIENDS with him, much less his girlfriend. It killed me to say it, in a way. To finally verbalize to him that it's over and done with. However, today I feel strong. I finally feel like I've moved on. I finally feel like I've come through to the other side. My therapist asked me the other day how I would know if I've moved on completely and I came up with some lameass response because I really didn't know how to answer that question. Well, now the question has been answered. I know I've moved on when I can outright say to him "look, you were an asshole and I don't want anything to do with you."

On a much happier note, my new nickname should be Pimp Daddy. I've gone out on a few rather interesting dates with some guys. Plus last week I got to see KMFDM live down in DC. I have to say that it was probably one of the BEST shows I have ever seen in my life. Which is saying a lot because I lost count of the shows I've been to about 4 years ago... I should sit down and write out a list sometime, but I think I've been to at least 50 separate concerts at this point. I've seen everyone from Nine Inch Nails to Tina Turner. But yeah, the KMFDM show was fucking amazing. I could not believe that I had so much fun... not that I went in thinking it would suck or whatnot, but I definitely wasn't expecting all of that.

And in a few weeks I get to go to yet another hippie-festival, but this one is only about 2 hours away or so. It's the moe. or Les show in West Virginia. It was supposed to be down in Wilmer's Park, but they didn't get the zoning thingie-thing that they needed. Which is interesting, seeing as I just docketed in a proposal yesterday and the title of it was "Outdoor Music Festivals." I guess that was the regulation that banned it because I read through it briefly and it had stuff about zoning in it. Damn. If I'd had the balls, I'd have ripped that shit up and flushed it. Heh heh heh... but the moe. or Les show should be awesome. If anyone wants the info, email me with the link on the first page. Guaranteed to be a really fucking awesome time. :)

All right. I got into work late today, so I'm out. Peace.

Oh. My. Fucking. God. You would NOT believe what FINALLY happened!!! Yes, yes... I finally found the infamous DUNCAN!!! After searching for what feels like years (even though I was only actively pursuing it for a few months), we finally made contact. He's back here in Baltimore after about 4 years in Vegas. He managed to stay out of jail (heh heh heh) and is the same ole Duncan that we all know and love. Seems to have gained a lot of maturity out there, but I can't say that's a bad thing. We hung out for a good chunk of the weekend (at one point he referred to me as his little flower child). Of course, the first time in months I get drunk is when his ass starts to bug me to take a shot. And then another one (dammit... that last one I was suckered into). But all in all, Sara is a VERY happy camper. I'm ecstatic! I honestly cannot believe that I finally got my best friend back after being convinced for over 4 years that I'd never see him again. I totally love this guy... and while I would bang him again if I could, the love I have for him is so pure and virginal.

*does the happy butt dance of joy!*

Aaahhhh.........

Out of curiousity... if you read my journal, will you sign my guestbook? I'm just wondering if all o' dis is worth it... if there are any people out there who are legitimately interested in reading about the Life and Times of Me.

Whew. What a turnaround life has been the past few weeks... I honestly never thought I'd get over Dale and here I am, the happiest I have truly ever been in my whole life. Totally without him. It makes me sad in a way, but not really. It's high time I moved on with my life and high time I realized that I'm a million times better off without him. I don't even sit there and wonder what he's doing anymore. I have more important things to worry about at this juncture (such as moving and my job). I'm enjoying my single-life to the millionth degree. I'm enjoying "dating" the guys who I'm dating (all of about 2-3, but that's all that I need right now), I'm enjoying spending time alone and with my friends and family. I'm enjoying the new-found friendship of Duncan. Life is good... *nods* life is good.

It's so weird to realize that I'm finally almost over him. I came to that conclusion last week when I told him to fuck off when he IMed me on AIM. That rat bastard... he really does have brass balls. Certainly don't know where they came from, seeing as when we were dating he was pretty spineless. But hey, to each his own.

Secretary of State John Willis is running for Comptroller against good ole William Donald Schaffer. That's the big news around here this morning... we even had a meeting about it. Pretty nifty to know of someone who's running for office like that.

Anyways, yeah. Work. That's what I'm here for, right???!!!

Argh. This move is REALLY starting to stress the hell outta me. I'm low on cash, but thankfully my parents have offered to help me out in any way they can. So I'll at least be able to eat for the next couple of weeks. Ha. I can't wait to move though. Number one - just to get it over with. Number two - to be that much closer to work. Number three - to have a place ALL to myself and NO reminders of loser-asshole. I told Michelle that I've come up with names for those two. He is "loser-asshole" and she is "fat tramp." Appropriate, no? That'll help with things. I find myself getting stronger everyday. I can actually feel it. Which is a beautiful thing, seeing as things were looking rather grim this time 2 months ago. Funny how these things work out. Soon enough I'll be completely over it. I already know this to be true.

I had an interesting weekend. It was fun, but not really what I expected it to be. Next weekend is the big family reunion in PA. Fun stuff! I'm sorta excited, but my problem is that once the reunion is over, there isn't much to do around there in the way of entertainment. I think the town has about 5 bars total and I've already been to 3 of them. But who knows what'll happen? My cousin Josh is notorious for the parties he throws at his apartment, so maybe he'll have a little shindig.

Let's see... what else, what else? I had a "date" last night with this guy I met at the KMFDM show. Seems like a good fellow... has a really good head on his shoulders for a guy his age (just turned 21). Maybe I've mentioned him before in this journal-thingie??? Dunno and I don't feel like re-reading... :) I also got a response to my woman seeking woman ad on Yahoo, so we'll see how that pans out too.

Hum dee dum.... I'm trying to think of more interesting things to say, but there's really nothing. Um, um, um......... I finally got a cell phone. There's some big news for ya.

Jeez, I never realized how boring I am!!! Heh heh heh... :D

So here's something cute. The ice cream man is in the area and the little song that he's playing is "When I'm 64" (or whatever it's called) by the Beatles. Hee hee hee... It's so cute. And of course, I'm here at work and I can't run out to get ice cream. I guess I could, but then my co-workers would look at me funny. Heh.

Still stressing out about this move. I'm not looking forward to the work it will entail, but gotta get it done. I feel like I literally JUST moved into the apartment I'm at now! God, how things have changed since then. Luckily, asshole-loser hasn't contacted me anymore in the past week or so. I do need to get his shit together to give back to him. And I fully intend to do so. Well, not me personally. I'm going to give it to Michelle to give to him. She told me she's cool with being the middle-man. So that works out. Also, I will give him the smallest amount of props for letting me keep the burned CDs. That's nice of him because most of them technically are his. And that's about the most credit I will give him at this juncture. Maybe someday I'll be able to give him more, but I'm not going to hold my breath. Him and the fat tramp deserve each other. Both have no self-esteem, no self-respect, and both have no consideration for anyone's feelings but their own.

However, I digress. So this dude Gordon.... yeah. Cool guy. We got into it on the phone last night arguing about the government. It was fun though... I like having heated debates. It was hard to get a word in edge-wise, but I enjoyed myself a great deal. He just seems so damn naive sometimes... I dealt with that before with another guy and I'm not sure I want to do it again. But who the hell knows? I'm supposed to go swimming with him this week (I think Friday?), so that's a bonus that he has a pool and stuff. At the very least I have a new friend who likes all of the same music I do and likes to do the same stuff I do (ie - hiking, hanging out, etc.). So yeah. Boo-ya!

What the fuck was up with all the smoke around here? Stupidass Canadians. Heh heh heh... Okay, I'm so tired I'm giddy. :)

So some jackass decided it'd be a good idea to double park RIGHT behind my car this morning. Isn't that lovely? I had to call the non-emergency police line and they sent an officer out. He helped me get my car out of the spot, but the most he could do was write out a warning to the guy. They can't tow because of "civil liabilities" and they couldn't write a ticket because there isn't any No Parking sign posted and it's a private lot. So that guy got lucky. But if I see his fucking car again, I'm going to leave him a nice little note. Rat bastard. Made me an hour late to work this morning.

So yeah. This weekend is the big family reunion up in Pennsylvania. I wasn't going to go, but then Mom reminded me that it's the last one all 4 of us will be at because of my sister moving to California. So I was sorta guilt-ed into going, but hey, it's for the family. It'll make everyone happy and it's not like I won't have fun. I just wanted ONE weekend before I move to get some shit done, but I have to be honest with myself here... I probably wouldn't have gotten much done anyways.

Date tonight for me. Well, more of a "come on over and watch some movies" type-deal, but I've been out with this guy before and he's pretty cool. I just wanted a nice, quiet evening at home and he said he's up for it. Next week, I have 3 tentative "dates" scheduled, but nothing fancy. This is a good thing... I do have to take some time to clean and pack, dammit. I don't want to though. I was cleaning out my closet yesterday and came across all sorts of weirdass things that either a.) I didn't know I had or b.) I had totally forgotten about. So it was sorta like taking a trip down Memory Lane. I re-read some old letters from asshole-loser and I just had to chuckle to myself. One of them was written about a month after I found out about him cheating and in it he was saying how wonderful I am and how he knows that if this relationship is going to work that HE will have to be the one to do all of the work. Swore up and down that he'd never lie again (so apparently I have this "promise" in writing... ha ha), etc. It made me laugh in one of those cynical ways... plus I rather enjoyed the whole experience of re-reading it and realizing just how much of a dingus he was about everything. (I mean, really... he lied to me about whether or not he thought thongs were sexy... that's just sad, folks).

But yeah. Life is good. I'm at work, but I've only got another 2 1/2 hours till I hit the road and head for home. Tons of work to do until then, but of course, I'd rather sit here with my thumb up my ass (figure of speech! :P).

I think it might be time for a smoke break for me. Then I'll come back in and finish up my work. Monday is a deadline, so I know when I come in that day, my desk is going to be piled high with work. Ho hum... but then again, it could be a LOT worse. My job is pretty schweet... :)

What a fuckin' good weekend, yo. I got SHIT-FACED with the family. Thank god for Yuengling! We had a damn good time, but fuckin' a... I was little Ms. Relationship Counselor all damn weekend it felt like. My friend just broke up with her boyfriend of 6 years and my cousin and her beau were having troubles. So I felt like I was going back-and-forth all weekend long, but hey, I'll lend a helping hand whenever I can. :)

Time to do something new with this website. I'm growing weary of it. Though I do like this journal thing. Seems like people are actually reading it (woot woot!).

Hung out with my boy Duncan last night. God, he's so great. Thankfully, I've grown out of the mentality that I want him to be my boyfriend. I couldn't handle a guy like him... admittedly, he would be waaaay too much for me. So much fucking energy... but we had a really good time last night. He's so sweet sometimes. I'm full of warm good vibes today because of him and a few things he said to me last night. I didn't fully realize this before, but goddamn, he's protective of me! Well, at least now I know who to call if I want someone's ass beat. Heh heh heh...

These past few days have been excellent. Not to jinx myself or anything, but I've had a really good week or so. Ever since about last Thursday... I've had great days. I can't believe all of the drinking I've done though. Friday I had 2 white russians, Saturday I had about 7 Yuenglings, Sunday I had another white russian (a strong one because I made them and I added waaaay too much vodka), and then last night I got a beer (Miller Lite, baby... I ain't picky). I think I'll refrain from drinking tonight, as I grow to like it a little bit too much at times and that disturbs me. I'm careful about that shit because alcoholism and that addictive gene are so prevalent (spelling?) in my family... on both my Mom's side and my Dad's side.

Speaking of those two, I just want to make it known to the world that I have the world's greatest parents. They're loaning me some dough for the big move and they really don't have to. But when I'm in a bind, I know I can go to them.

All right, I'm done sharing my joy. Let's go see if I can do anything new and cool to my website. Thankfully there isn't much to do around here at the office.....

So I checked on my stats page for this particular one and it at least appears that people are reading this. So yay everyone who is reading this!!! Hee hee hee... seriously, though. I feel loved. Boo-ya!

TGIF. I was soooo excited for the weekend all this week. Tonight my sister is coming over to watch movies, drink beer, eat pizza, and get in some quality sister-time before she moves to California. God, she leaves in just over one week. I can't believe it. I still haven't cried... still haven't really thought too much about it. I guess I should just cry and get it over with, but I'll reserve that for when I'm NOT in my office. :) It's weird though... I'm happy for her, most definitely, but I'm afraid of how Mom is going to take it, etc. So far she seems to be holding up really well, but I'm in for it when Jane officially leaves. Ah, gotta love being the one left behind. Ha.

So yeah. Hung out with my friend Tessa last night and she brought over a couple of her guy friends. All of whom were around 20 or 21 years old. Made me glad I'm older, that's for damn sure. Not to say anything bad about her friends because they seemed cool, but their maturity level left a lot to be desired. Oh well... regardless, I had a good time chillin', but I'm dead tired this morning. This whole white russian-kick I'm on right now has got to end. But those damn drinks are sooo tasty. I'm not good at making them just yet... I always put in too much vodka and not enough kahlua (or however you spell it). I think I have the milk level right, but yeah. I'm not one for much alcohol anyways, so I guess it's all right that I'm bad at making them. Heh heh heh.

I'm in a bit of a weird mood today. I was thinking last night before everyone came over about how much my life has changed within a matter of months. For example, yesterday I went to my ob-gyn and was put on birth control. I didn't want it at first, but then she started listing all of these great advantages of being on it, so I said what the hell. There's something I didn't think would happen... don't know why, but I always shied away from the idea of being on The Pill. Maybe because I'd heard so often that it makes you gain weight, etc., but apparently this one is oh-so-beneficial. So we'll see. I figure if I don't like it at all, I'll just stop taking it and let my doctor know. Plain and simple. Not to mention the guys I've met, the dates I've been on, what I've done overall, etc. It's just weird. The old cliche really is true - as soon as you stop LOOKING for someone or something to come along, BAM! There it is, knocking on your door and patiently waiting to be acknowledged. For the first time in my entire life, I wasn't looking for a boyfriend or a fuck buddy and now I'm talking to a few guys. I won't go into specific numbers because the situations themselves are weird for the most part. But the greatest thing about all of this is I feel I'm on the same page as every single one of them. As in, they know where I'm coming from, what I want, etc. and I know that about them. They know about asshole-loser, etc. Duncan informed me during one of our first conversations since he's been back that if he had met me while I was with Dale, he probably wouldn't want to hang out with me that much because he wouldn't want to see me being treated like shit and taking it. Even more of a reason to be glad that chapter is finally over in my life.

Anyways, yeah. Happy, healthy me (knock on wood!). Moving in about a week, I have a few fellows that bring a smile to my face, my family are good, my friends are good, my life is good.

Later...
I'm getting that feeling again. The butterflies in my stomach, the sweatiness, the anxious feeling that *something* is going to happen. I talk about these feelings a lot to other people..... but yeah. I'm getting the feeling that something is going to happen. Either to me, to the world, or to someone I'm close to. Good or bad, I don't know. I wish it were a little more specific, but my eyes and ears are going to be WIDE open for the next few days. I hate getting this feeling when I'm here at work because there is literally nothing I can do to calm myself down other than get distracted... bah.

Wow. What a glorious weekend I had!!! I didn't want it to end on Sunday night, but alas, here I am back at work this Monday morning. Friday night my sister came by. We literally sat around all night, watched TV, ate pizza, and talked. I think she was on the phone to her boyfriend more than she talked to me, but whatever. I totally understand THAT mentality. Especially since she's so close to moving there... T-minus 6 days and counting. Saturday I woke up with the best of intentions of spending about 2 hours packing before Michelle's big kegger, but I only got about an hour's worth in because her Mom took me up on my offer for help before the party. So I headed down there. Got there around 2, helped set up for a few hours, and then the shit started hitting the fan around 5. I got totally, completely, recklessly DRUNK off my little white ass. It was GREAT! Met a lot of really cool people, got to hang out with her cousin a bit and his girlfriend, got to meet some of Damian's friends, etc. Damian's one buddy brought his puppy along, a little beagle named Lincoln. He was sooooo adorable, except for the fact that he kept trying to mount Joey, Michelle's dog. But we had a good laugh about the dogs being gay and stuff. Definitely good drunken amusement. And again, on Sunday I had the best of intentions to go home and spend the day packing, maybe get in some time to see my best friend Sam, who I haven't seen in at least a month, if not more at this point. But what did I do instead? That's right. Went out and partied, got fucked up again, etc. Michelle, CJ, Damian, and I went to Merriweather for the pre-concert tail-gate party (Phil Lesh of the Grateful Dead-fame was the headliner and I forget who the opening bands were, but I think one of them included one of the former drummers of the Dead - christ I'm a fuckin' hippie). Got some goo-balls, sat around, etc. Tried to stay cool. When Chelle and CJ went into the concert, Damian and I left. I went home, was going to pack for the rest of the night, but then Sean, Dan, and Tom ended up stopping by, and Damian came up again too.

Whew. Crazyass weekend, but goddamn, I had fun. Now I'm totally stressing about this move and about packing, but the office manager here said she'd have a million more boxes for me by the time I left this afternoon. Then I think I'm going to go home and turn OFF my phone (but leave my cell phone on just in case) and get some more packing done. I figure I have about 85% left to do in a matter of about 4-5 days. I'm even taking this Wednesday off so I can pack in the morning hours and then head over to Germantown to hang out with Mom and Jane. Christ. I wish my life would slow the hell down just a tad, but that won't happen for at least another week. Plus it SUCKS ASS to be so broke right now. I'm in debt to my (awesome) parents right now up to my ass. But they've been VERY generous, so I'm quite lucky.

Hmmm... what else? Well, I think it's definite that I'm going to make it out to at least one more festival before the summer is officially over. BiscoWorld is what it is - all of the techno-hippie bands and stuff. I think you can find information about it at www.discobiscuits.com, but this one is up north, above Scranton, PA. So it'll be a good 4-hour trek up there, but totally worth it (especially if I don't have to drive!).

Also caught sight of a new guy this weekend. One of Damian's friends. He's young, but very intelligent. And from what Damian has told me, he's very mature for his age... has always hung out with an older crowd, etc. Interesante, but pussy-ass Sara didn't get his number like she should've. Oh well. But I didn't want to ask him for his number if he had a girlfriend or something... Sara don't play dat. I didn't find out he was single until AFTER he left Michelle's. Oh well. Damian said he'd try to play matchmaker, but we'll see... :)

Well, yeah. Last night I napped for about an hour or so and then packed my little ass off. I got all of my books and movies packed, set aside some stuff for loser-asshole to FINALLY take off my hands, got some of my kitchen packed, most of the linen closet, almost all of the bathroom, and some other miscellaneous shit that needed taken care of. I have devised a schedule for myself for the rest of this week. Tonight I get to pack up all of my break-ables and organize all of my CD's. Tomorrow (I took the day off, don't know if I've already mentioned that), I'm going to clean out my bedroom and living room closets, get that shiznittle packed up, and then that night I'm going to get started on getting my clothes packed up too. BLAH. I think packing my clothes and shoes is going to be the worst of it because I have waaaaaaaaaaay too many clothes. I really need to go through them and get rid of whatever I don't want anymore. Give Michelle first dibs and after that, just take them to the Salvation Army or something. Which strikes me as sorta ironic, seeing as I love to go shopping there - who knows? Maybe someday I'll end up re-buying an article of clothing I donated there in the first place. Heh heh heh... :P

But yeah. Life is busy as fuck right now and I don't like it. Not when it's busy because I have to do all of this damn work to move, ya know? I could hardly sleep last night. My mind was racing and all I could think about was this move and getting everything situated. I have to remember to call a few people tonight, specifically my friend Ben. Gotta make sure he knows what time to be at my apartment and stuff. Kevin is definitely helping, as is Michelle. And another buddy of mine said he would help out too. So yeah. I should be pretty well covered. Hopefully more people will show up, but I think that between the 5 of us, we'll be good to go. It's not like I have *that* much stuff. Plus I do plan on loading up my car on Friday morning before work and dropping some boxes off when I get my key later on that afternoon.

So I'm getting the "411" on this guy I met over the weekend. Apparently he's super-shy and quiet... which is fine. I can vaguely remember (I was in a VERY drunken stupor at this point) him showing me a tattoo on his upper middle back and I nearly fell down. His back was OH MY F-IN' GOD hot!!! As in, well cut, muscular as hell, tan, smooth... Hmmm... probably shouldn't go on and on about this here at work, but holy hell. Damn. That's all I have to say. Hot damn. I have this weird fetish for really nice backs, and this guy's back was abso-fucking-lutely perfect. Yummy McYummerson.

I am fucking exhausted. One would *think* that having a day off of work would rejuvenate oneself, but no. If anything, I'm even more exhausted than before. Yesterday morning was spent packing, then I ran a few errands, and then went home to Germantown for another "one-last-visit" with Jane before she moves out. It still hasn't hit me yet. I won't let it. It'll be too much, I think. I mean, on the one hand I'm so very proud of her for doing this. She's very brave to leave home like that. But on the other hand, I really don't want to see her leave. Mom is having a REALLY rough time with the whole idea. She doesn't want to hold Jane back from doing this, but I know she really doesn't want to see Jane go at all.

So right. So I get home to Baltimore and think to myself that I'll sit around, watch some TV, maybe pop online to see what's up, etc. However, on the way home I called Michelle in tears because of the whole Jane-thing. Michelle told me to call her back when I got back to Bmore. So I did and she suggested that I come out with her, Ricky, Dan, CJ, and a few others to some bar up in Towson (I think it's called Crease's or something like that). Surprisingly enough, I said yes. Ended up going there and getting totally and completely SHITFACED. As in, stumbling around, barely able to focus, etc. Danced my ass off, got hit on a few times (nothing substantial though), etc. And I spent about $9 total on 2 shots - one for Michelle and one for CJ. Goddamn. I can't believe I got THAT trashed on a Wednesday night. But I didn't feel too bad because at least 4 people have told me in the past 12 hours that I really needed to do it to get my mind off of everything. So there. I'm justified.

Hrmmm... what else? Well, the Big Move is this Saturday. God, I can hardly believe it. Tomorrow is my LAST full day of commuting from Parkville to Annapolis every goddamn day!!! Yay me!!! I didn't think I'd get through it, but here I am on the very tail end of it all.

Found out some interesting stuff about my grandfathers. My Dad's dad died of stomach cancer and came over to this country when he was relatively young (I think late teens or early 20's). And he also spoke with an accent. My Mom's dad's middle name is Stanislaus (I don't know quite how to spell it). So his first and middle names are Joseph Stanislaus. Weird. I also got to see these really old pictures of him. Tall, skinny, with this really curly hair. Big nose. Definitely looks Irish. And for the first time that I can remember, I heard my mother refer to him as "Dad." I'm fascinated by all of this, seeing as I never knew either man. I always wondered what it's like to have a grandfather. But I guess I'm luckier than most in some senses because I was so close to my Mom's mom before she died.

Anyways, yeah. Enough mumbo-jumbo. Time to nurse my hangover and get back to these proofs.

One more day till I move!!! :) Yay!!! Holy hell, I can hardly believe it. Today I'm leaving work early to go sign the lease, then I'm going to drop off a few boxes, go home, do the rest of my packing (seeing as I didn't do any at all last night!), and then wait around for Kevin, who's supposed to show up sometime around 7 (I think that's what he said last night).

I was just sooooooooooo exhausted last night when I got home from work. I literally couldn't keep my damn eyes open. I slept for over 2 hours instead of packing up my clothes like I had planned to do. But oh well. I'll leave here today, get up there by 1:30 at the latest, get the shit signed, and then be home hopefully by about 3-3:30 at the latest. That gives me at least 3-4 hours to pack up some stuff before Kevin is due to arrive. And then I want to make at least one more trip down with boxes in my car. The less we have to do tomorrow, the better. I just want this damn thing over and done with. I want to get unpacked and then go take advantage of that swimming pool I will have access to as of this afternoon. It's a good thing it's raining out around here today... otherwise I'd be REALLY tempted to just lounge at the pool all day instead of going back to Parkville and getting some work done.

Hung out with my buddy Duncan again last night. He was in a very irritated mood. He just quit his job - apparently his boss was a real asshole. Which sucks because I know he really liked the job to begin with.

What else? Nothing right now, I guess. Just gotta get some shiznittle done around here and then I'll be on my way to my new home. God, I hope things go smoothly tomorrow!!!

Oh. My. God. What a HORRIBLE weekend I had with that moving shit. HORRIBLE. Everything that could have gone wrong, went wrong. I'll start from the beginning... woke up Saturday morning and did the rest of whatever packing I could. Kevin showed up around 9:20, about 20 minutes late, because he was caught in 40 minutes worth of traffic at the tunnels. So we sat around a bit and he helped me around the apartment with a few last minute things. Called U-Haul at 10am like they told me to on Friday afternoon. The guy told me that he wouldn't have my truck for another few hours. So of course, I was ready to crack some skulls over that news, but then Kevin suggested that we go out to the store while we wait and get some more packing tape, which I needed. So we go out to the store. Come back and Michelle is waiting. We get to the door of my apartment and that's when I realize that I'd locked the keys INSIDE of the apartment. Michelle leaves because she wasn't feeling well and I told her I'd call her when we were ready to load the truck. FINALLY get back into the apartment about 30-45 minutes later (I called the emergency maintainance line about 3 times and they never DID come out! So I went to the rental office and finally got a set of spare keys). After that, we waited for my friend Jennifer to show up. When she did, we loaded our 3 cars and drove down there with a shitload of boxes. Unpacked those and while we were there, my dad called and said that the U-Haul on 33rd and Greenmount had my truck waiting. So I called that place and they said they had it. I told them to give me an hour and we'd be there. Finally go back up the road and Jennifer went home. So Kevin and I get to my old apartment and Ben and Michelle are waiting. Michelle, Kevin, and I go to 33rd and Greenmount and I go in to get the truck. I was informed that it wasn't there and NO ONE there had any idea what I was talking about. So I get on the phone with my dad and he was on the other phone with the regional office trying to get it sorted out. So finally, the 3 of us leave and we're on our way back to the apartment when my dad calls and says there's a truck waiting for me in HAMPDEN on 39th and Falls. So we trek out there and then we have to wait another 40-45 minutes for the paperwork to come through. After that, we FINALLY get the truck. Get all of the furniture down in one load, leave about 2 carloads of boxes in the old place. Dropped off the truck and then drove all the way back up to Parkville to drop Kevin and Ben off at their cars. And then I hit the road for Germantown to spend the night there because Jane left that morning. And then after she leaves, I went BACK to Parkville, loaded up my car with the help of Michelle and CJ and convince CJ to bring the last load down with me by bribing him with gas money.

So yeah. I'm officially moved in and all, but GODDAMN. I am NEVER using U-Haul again. Ever. Fuck them. And for anyone else out there who might be reading this, DO NOT USE U-HAUL EVER! I am boycotting them now for the rest of my life and if anyone asks my opinion of them, it is VERY low at this point. Today dad is going to haggle out a discount or something on the van for all of the shit we put up with this weekend from them. Apparently, the one dude OVER-BOOKED the vans!!! Christ. I hate incompetent people. But yeah. It's over with. I'm so tired today I'm having small dizzy spells. And I even went to bed before 10 last night and didn't have to wake up till after 7 this morning.

But today it'll all be better. I might dip outta here early if I can manage to go home and do some unpacking. I didn't get much done last night because I had *someone* over (got laid my first night at the new apartment! Boo-ya!). And later on today Michelle is coming over and we're going to hit the pool. I have all of these weird tan-lines now from being outside all weekend with the move. And for the rest of the week, I'll bet I sleep like a fuckin' baby.

And that's all I really have to say right now. I'm sooooooo tired. So very tired. But I'm glad this is over and done with.

My new apartment is PHAT. My balcolny backs up to trees now instead of a parking lot. I have a ceiling fan in the dining room. A kitchen big enough for a small table. 2 walk-in closets in the bedroom, not to mention a linen closet, a guest closet, and a storage closet off the balcolny.

And now I have to go to a meeting, so peez out. :)

So either I'm mis-reading or it seems like a good bit of people read this. So yay you! :) So I felt obligated to write something today. Even if it is short and boring and pointless. But yeah, here we go.

Last night was good. My friend Michelle and I went swimming. I got a little more unpacking done and then 3 other friends came by to hang out. So it was great, of course. I loved seeing all of them. 2 out of the 3 came all the way down from Baltimore City, so there's some love for me. :) Asshole-loser came to get the rest of his stuff and to give me my stuff back. Michelle met him out in the parking lot and did the exchange. Thank God she was around. Before he came over, I had to run out real quick because she forgot his sleeping bag. I didn't know if he had come yet, so I ran out as quickly as I could to avoid him. By the time I got back in, I was short of breath, shakey as all hell, and I could barely contain my overall weird feeling of.... almost fear, for lack of a better word. I don't know how else to put it, but I get this bizarre physical reaction anytime he contacts me or if I know he's around. Christ. I hate it, but hopefully soon it'll all go away.

Anyways, I just got handed some work to do, so I'm outta here. :D

I just realized walking into work this morning that if I had stayed at EMG, I would've been there for exactly one year as of today. Funny how much things have changed since then.

Well, I got a shitload of unpacking done last night, thank God. FINALLY. I still have to do all of my kitchen and about half of my bedroom is left, but the living room is nearly done and the bathroom is 1/2 way done. But the bathroom isn't anything too overwhelming. It's the rest of it that's getting to me. I'm definitely going swimming tonight though. I didn't go last night because I was so hell-bent on getting that unpacking started. I think I'm going to try to take it a little easy today. I mean, I will definitely get some stuff done around the apartment, but my whole entire body just aches from all of that effort.

Hum dee dum. Nothing much new to write. Same old shit going on around here. I have a party to go to this weekend. I hope it's fun. From the way my friend is talking though, this one should be big. Also going to have a family dinner with Michelle's family this Friday and my parents are coming to see my new place on Saturday. *sigh* So much to do, so little time.

All right, I honestly have NO clue what else to type, so I'mma head on outta here.....

Thank fucking god it's FRIDAY! This week dragged for me for some reason. I think it's just the excitement of moving finally starting to die down a bit. Not that this weekend I'm going to get any damn rest. I'm booked solid from tonight till Sunday night. Not a damn moment to spare, but that's the way I like it, so I guess it's a good thing. :) Mom and Dad come to see the new apartment tomorrow... dum da dum dum. But I honestly think they'll like it a lot more than they did the old place. Scratch that. Dad did like the old place, Mom didn't. But then again, the old neighborhood was somewhat ghetto, so I can't say I blame her. I'd like to get my kitchen unpacked before they come over, but I don't know when I'll get the chance to do that tonight. Maybe after I come home from Michelle's I'll stay up a little later than usual to get it done. And after I take all of the empty boxes to the dumpster and put some stuff in the storage closet off the balcolny, things will look a little bit more "together" than what they look now. I just want things to be as close to perfect as possible for their visit tomorrow. Gotta impress the folks and alla dat.

Other than that, nothing new to report here. I'm at work right now with no motivation whatsoever to get anything accomplished while I'm here. I'd like to make the effort to grab some food or something, but I don't know if that's gonna happen.

Sorry to be so boring here. But yeah, I think I'll end this right now. Peez out.

Aaahhh... what a glorious weekend. I didn't have anything too pressing to deal with. Friday night was dinner at Michelle's. Michelle is da BOMB. I cannot stress that enough at this juncture. She came over on Friday night. We went swimming for a bit and then came back to my place. Not only did she kick my ass to get up and get unpacking, but she also offered to be the one to stand there and hang up all of my clothes while I went through them and organized them into 3 piles - "hang up," "dresser," and "get rid of." And that's the task I was dreading the most - having to stand there and put everything on hangers. Then we went to her house and ate her mother's FABULOUS pasta linguine-stuff. Then we came back to my apartment, finished up the clothes, and got my kitchen unpacked. So by the time she hit the road for Parkville, I had 5 boxes left to unpack. That was IT.

Saturday morning I woke up, got the rest of the boxes unpacked, and then Mom and Dad came over. Mom was VERY neutral about the apartment. Didn't really have anything good or bad to say. Dad, of course, told me he thought it was nice, but his mind was on food and getting the shopping out of the way. So we went and ate and then got me a new computer desk and printer stand at Target. Then we came home and my dad proceeded to put it together, which took almost 2 hours. Mom and I sat around and talked and dozed off while we waited for him to finish. Soon after, they hit the road because it was nearly 7pm. Then Michelle came by, we went to her place and ate, and then we came back to my place and hung out with CJ and Brandon. Then Michelle and CJ left for the beach, Brandon and I hung out, and then the next morning Brandon left and I spent all day Sunday SLEEPING. Literally. I laid down around 1 and didn't wake up till almost 7. Then I watched my cartoons, ate, and went to bed again around 12 or so.

What a good weekend! :-) So I am a very happy camper this morning, even though it's Monday and I'm here at work. Today is proofing day, so I'll have something to occupy myself for about an hour or however long it takes me to get through it. Proofing days are good... I didn't think I'd like them when I started here, but I've come to realize that I do. I don't know why... perhaps it's my overall love of proofreading and my attention to details. I like this job because it requires me to actually THINK (for the most part). It sorta scares me, but if things keep going the way they're going, I can see myself here for at least another 4 years or so. I told myself all along that I want to put at least 5 years into this place before moving on. And I really think that at some point I *will* move on. I want a job that serves the community more. Not that what I'm doing doesn't serve the public (hell, that's why we exist in the first place!), but I'd like to do something a little more directly connected to the public. Like... oh, hell, I don't know. But something a little more substantial than editing state regulations.

So did you hear about this idiot up in Boston who continued to make stops in the Amtrak train he was driving while a 61-year-old passenger was suffering a heart attack??? Um, HELLO? Christ Almighty. Apparently the conductor didn't think it was as serious as it really was (if that made any sense whatsoever). Uh, okay. My god. The way the world is nowadays scares the crap out of me sometimes. It really makes you sit down and think.

Time to end this tirade before it starts.

A personal victory day for me. There's this task here at work that I've been learning to do. First time I did it was sometime last December or so, and I've gotten it pretty consistently (maybe once a week or so) since then. It's what's known as a "page order," which essentially tells the printer what pages need to be printed and where they should leave certain blank pages (longass story as to why there are blanks in there). But anyways, yeah. I've been getting these for the past 8 months or so, like I said, on a regular basis. And they were really hard for me to learn how to do because I've never worked as an editor before. So my boss shows me over and over again how to do it and every single freakin' time I'd do it, he'd hand it back to me with tons of corrections (he wouldn't be mad or anything, not at all... quite the contrary... everyone around here knows how overwhelming and confusing the work can get around here sometimes). But yeah.

So today I'm sitting in my office, doing my work, and my boss walks in and asks me to come to his office because he has to give me more stuff to do. As we're walking down the hallway he says to me "Oh, and those page orders you did for me yesterday were PERFECT. I literally didn't have to make ONE correction." You could've knocked me over with a friggin' feather. Hoooo doggies!!! That's the third time I've been "praised" by my boss since I've been here!!!

So yeah. Share the joy. Go out and do a good deed today or something to celebrate the fact that I've FINALLY LEARNED HOW TO DO PAGE ORDERS! Seriously, these things used to be the bane of my existence here at work. They're not boring or anything... I actually used to enjoy doing them even when I wasn't doing them right. But I hated them simply for the fact that there was yet another thing I was doing around here incorrectly. Not to be all down on myself, I mean, I know full well that this job ain't easy, but it was a sorta shitty feeling and stuff. Now I no longer have to worry about it. I finally did one freakin' perfectly. BOO-YA!

On a side note, I find it sort of amusing, in a weird way, that Microsoft is now opening its code. Ha bloody ha. Finally. Them fuckers.

And on another side note, I have to figure out a way to organize this here journal-thingie a bit better. As in, I want the journal entries to be categorized by date... like, when you pop onto this screen, you have to click on the date itself to read the journal entry for that day. I know how to do it, of course, but it's gonna be a lot more work than what I'm willing to put into it. I'll do it sometime while I'm here at work and bored off my ass.

Wow. People actually read this thing. I'm so proud of myself. Am I really that interesting??? Wait. Perhaps it's better if that question were left unanswered. :-) No comments from the peanut gallery, thank you.

I'm in a good mood this morning. No particular reason. Just woke up with a smile on my face. I think it's all related to the fact that my stress levels have drastically decreased over the past week or so. I've moved, I'm completely DONE unpacking, and now my car insurance is paid off (as of yesterday, thank you!). Now I just have to pay Mom and Dad back for the money they've been loaning me, but they're both cool about stuff like that, so it's not like there's tons of pressure on me to pay them back right away. They're good people. If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times... I'm very, very lucky to have them as parents.

Got 3 rolls of film developed yesterday. I was soooooooooooooooooooo pleased!!!!! I got pictures back from the All Good (all WET!) Festival, the Blue Angels, a shitload of my friends, pictures from the family 4th of July party, and ones of the old apartment (I got 2 really nice shots of this gorgeous sunset Michelle and I saw one night while there). I paid less than $20 to get 'em developed too, which was nice (yay Walmart!).

Didn't do too much of anything last night besides sitting around on my ass and talking on the phone. Finally got back to Duncan. He called sometime last week, but I either couldn't call him or didn't feel like calling him. We have semi-tentative plans for the weekend. I think I wanna bring him down to see the new apartment, maybe go swimming or somethin' along those lines. Michelle and CJ get back from the beach tonight. So I'll have my partner in crime back in about 12 hours. I hope they had a good time... I wish I could've gotten to the beach this summer, but there's always next summer, I guess. Plus if I end up renewing my lease at this place, I won't have money and shit like that to worry about. I go to California in October though... plus I'm still planning on going to the Disco Biscuits show in a few weeks (2, to be exact). The event is called Senor Boombox. Which cracks me up. It reminds me of another friend of mine named Michelle and her and her friends used to call a certain-something (not to be too cryptic here, sorry) "Senor Blow." So I always think of her when I think of "Senor Boombox." Don't know why. Don't know if that makes any sense. But yeah.

So I just read that Einstein's Theory of Relativity (E=mc2) may be disproven. It relies on the theory that the speed of light stays constant, whereas these scientists are saying that the speed of light has actually slowed over the past billion years. So it's going to have to make them re-think just about every basic idea of the universe. Craziness. I was just talking to Duncan last night about some article I read a few months back where scientists were convinced they'd found a new element (I think it was an element), but then I read a few weeks ago that some of that research may have been falsified by one of the scientists. That just blows my mind. Even if the researched was false, it's still amazing to me that there are millions of theories out there and at the drop of a hat, we can disprove one - just like that. Blows me away. I don't think I'm explaining myself well here, but what I'm getting at is the fact that what we hold to be absolutely true CAN be disproven like that. It's just awe-inspiring to realize that we DON'T know everything out there and what we DO know could be false. I love the way science works like that.

*dork*