Sadiya, was muslim, you could make out, very beautiful and very conservative. Still Rahul persuaded his case relentlessly. He was confident he could convince his parents and if worst becomes worse he could leave them. Sadiya was too shy to rebuff him; any encouragement was out of question. She let it go as it was, kept pretending all the little excuses he found to talk to her were natural. Despite all the inputs from the friends, who boasted of having the information from his friends, she remained neutral.

For Rahul her silence was a nod, he knew she’d like him eventually if she already doesn’t, and she did, slowly. Knowing very well she dared not, she couldn’t help it. He was a nice guy, and she liked his talking to her, for she hardly said anything just smiled at the most. Its difficult to say if it was natural, or her well-wishers made it appear so, but she started to believe that if she had a choice she would say yes.

Sadiya’s dad died in the 1992 riots, he was a fanatic. She cursed herself when at times it occurred to her that it was for good, what happened. He would never have approved of it. She is mean and self centered was always the immediate reaction that broke the chain of thoughts. She was 12 when his father was being taken to the graveyard, she wanted to go with the procession, but her mom said no, she didn’t ask questions, she never did. Since then it was her Grandfather who looked after the family. Her mom was not literate but realized the importance of education, had her studies not been discontinued she could have taken up a job at his husband’s office. She never let Sadiya be another her, despite the huge sum asked for the payment seat, she got her admitted to the Manipal School of Medicine.

Sadiya knew her mother well; she knew she loved her more than anyone. She talked to her about Rahul, she didn’t get angry just calmly asked her to try and forget him; for as long as her granddad was alive she could not even imagine this happening. Sadiya realized that her mother had no problems in accepting Rahul, just that she would not stand up against her father-in-law. Sheikh Alam, Sadiya’s grandpa was a religious man to the degree of fanaticism, how he sent his son to lead the demonstration knowing there where shoot at sight orders, was a folklore amongst the whole community. To think that he’d allow her son’s daughter to marry the murderers of his son was out of question, Sadiya knew that. She resigned to her fate.

Her groom-to-be was well educated and handsomely earning though not so handsome. She tried hard not to compare him with Rahul and not to think too much, but she couldn’t. She used to cry all through the night and had the same dream of wearing a burka and holding three kids, if she managed to sleep. Indu was to blame for this, she was her roommate in college, and when Sadiya first told her about the marriage, she narrated her future with detail, having three children in quick succession, wearing a burka… It was supposed to be joke but had caused Sadiya discomfit even then. Lately however it had become her recurring nightmare.

Knowing Indu well, one would say she was kidding when she suggested giving old man peace he deserves but Sadiya realized it exactly what she was not being able to say to herself for all this time. Her mother’s happiness is in seeing her happy, no matter what, and his granddad is so old, if he has to pass in another three months why not now. He had no right to make her marriage his last wish, she was still in her final year but the oral cancer he had was in the third stage and the doctors had given him just half an year, and he wished to see her married to Khadim before that. The engagement was today and marriage was 5 days hence.

She was exhausted after the ceremonies of the engagement but couldn’t sleep. Her mind was hooked; she could not make rest of her life a dying man’s wish. It was hard but she decided, a little steel gray powder of arsenic in her lab marked as poison could give the old man and her the peace forever. The next night she added the thing to his milk and kept it by his bedside. In the morning her mom woke her up, she was crying. “Abbajaan passed away”. She tried to appear moved then, but when she saw him lying on his bed in peace she didn’t have to. Somehow it was becoming extremely difficult to look at very person she had poisoned, she went ahead and covered him with a white cloth. People poured in from everywhere to pay last respects to the old man, only by 10 in the night the mother and daughter could sit alone and talk.    

 “We have to get your marriage postponed at least by a month”, the mother said. Why don’t you make a cup of tea for both of us and we can talk over it, she continued. Sadiya goes into the kitchen and calls out but I couldn’t get milk today, didn’t get time to. Oh! our poor Abbu could not even have his last glass of milk, I had put it away in the kitchen this morning. Sadiya was stoned, she came back and says “Abbu wanted to have the nikah on the Id lets have it that way only”.