Funny Facts

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We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

Laughing stock is really cattle with a sense of humor.

You can't have everything, where would you put it?

The latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

Eating right. Staying fit. Die anyway.

The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat drinking beer all day.

A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

When you're swimming in the creek, and an eel bites your cheek, that's a moray!

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.

Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Some people complain because God put thorns on roses,while others praise Him for putting roses among thorns.

A person's true character is revealed by what he does when no one is watching.

Although the tongue weighs very little, very few people are able to hold it.

Success in a marriage is more than finding the right person. It's becoming the right person.

Falling down doesn't make you a failure, but staying down does.

Don't be afraid of pressure. Remember that pressure is what turns a lump of coal into a diamond.

Even a woodpecker owes his success to the fact that he uses his head.

The poorest of all men is not the man without a cent but the man without a dream.

The only preparation for tomorrow is the right use of today.

People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.

Temper is what gets most of us into trouble. Pride is what keeps us there.

The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little "extra."

The heart is the happiest when it beats for others.

One thing you can learn by watching the clock is that it passes time by keeping its hands busy.

" ship is always referred as "she" because it costs so much to keep one in paint and powder"