As Misty's World Turns


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Apr. 1, 2001

I just finished watching the coolest movie, especially with it now officially being April Fools Day. (Did ya'll remember to set your clocks ahead 1 hour??) The movie is called "Frequency", and it's a MUST SEE if you're into unexplained phenomenons. It's about a man, his son, and how talking on a ham radio changes both of their lives....forever.

Lately I've been doing alot of video watching. You guessed it, flat on my back again! As desperately as we need rain, I wish it'd just go away. There's nothing like rainy days to bring on a major FMS flare. So anyway, back to the videos. My recommendations are as follows: (lol)

What Lies Beneath
Frequency
Wonder Boys
Where The Money Is
Remember The Titans

Apr. 20, 2001

How many people have passed through our lives? People we once regarded as friends, sometimes even best friends. It's like you wake up one day, and poof.... they're no longer part of your life. For whatever reason, this has happened to me.

There once was a time when I felt I had lots of friends. Some of them I considered to be close friends, others, maybe more of a good acquaintance. But they were there for me in one way or another. Over the years these people continue to vanish. One here, another there, and still another, over and over this has happened. My Mom once said..."we have few real friends in this world, and in the end all you really can count on is your family". I guess maybe she was right.

Of the many people I once loved, cared for, and counted on, few are left. Through all of these times one person has remained faithfull. He's been there for me at night, when I was at my loneliest. He listened, he made me laugh, he showed me someone cared. He was there when I moved, volunteering his efforts in any way he could, even missing sleep to help. Even though we now live miles apart, he's here for me. He is always the same, the one thing in the universe that seems to remain constant. He never complains, although I know his life isn't a bed of roses. He's always cheerful, although I'm sure he too gets depressed. Thank you Kenny for being a true friend, and for sticking with me all these years.

Apr. 28, 2001

Lately I've found myself being at odds with myself. Part of me would like to meet a man. Not just any man, but one who would make me laugh, be my very best friend, someone who could understand me and love me unconditionally. He'd have to be a beautiful person, not outside so much, as inside. Someone warm and caring, who loved life and was an upbeat happy guy. A man that shared my interests, and liked my family.

Then there is the other side of me that says, "why do I need a man to be happy?" For as long as I can remember I've been through one bad relationship after another. For some reason, the men I attract, or I'm attracted to, never seem to be what I want or need. What makes me think I'd ever find a man that I could truly love and be happy with??? And if I did find this guy, why would I want to get tied down again?

In most repects I'm quite happy. I live in a nice house, in a great part of the country. My family, who I love so dearly, is near me for the first time in years. My money, (what little there is), is mine to spend as I wish, without remarks from "him". Yet I find myself wishing it was me in the movie that meets the guy and falls happily in love. I'm terrified of meeting someone again, only to have it be just like every relationship I've ever been in. On the other hand, my soul seems to ache for another.

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