chap30

Belle padded through the sand silently behind Shawn. The night was warm enough that she was comfortable in shorts and a sweatshirt but the sand felt cool underneath her feet. They walked closer over the dunes until they came closer to the shoreline. The waves pounded and crashed over and over against the sand and the moon was visible in the distance. They reached the division of the beach where the line divides the wet, packed down sand from the loose, dry sand. Shawn paused for a moment before he turned to the right.
"C'mon" he said, leading the way away from the house. She quickly slipped out of her sandels and carried them in her hand while she rushed to keep up with him. They continued silently down the beach. Shawn snuck a few hurried glances in her direction but she kept her head down, watching the asnd as the pressure of her weight pushed the water outward, afraid to show any emotion. Finally, he stopped.
"Belle, I...." he said, turning to her. She had her head down and almost stumbled into him but straightened herself up and waited. "I....I don't even know what to say" He raised his hand upward, as if to emphasize his complete confusion.
"Maybe you should start by apologizing to me for being an ass" she blurted out, before even thinking.
"Apologize?" he asked. "What the hell do I have to apologize for?"
"Oh, I don't know" she said, growing angry. "Maybe for ignoring me all day? For walking away from me on the beach when I was trying to talk to you? For pretending to have a headache when I again tried to talk to you?"
"Oh, whatever Belle" he said, turning away from her. "You are so out of line"
"I don't need this!" she said, scooping up the sandels she had dropped in her anger. She started to walk away but he grabbed her roughly by the arm. "Let me go!"
"No, we're going to stand here and fight this out" he said, still holding on to her. She struggled away from him and he finally let her arm drop to her side.
"There's nothing to fight about Shawn" she said, her sandels again falling to the ground as she put her hands on her hips. "*I* was the stupid one. *I'm* the one that got my feelings involved and once again, *I* was the one to get hurt"
"You were the one to get hurt?" Shawn demanded. "Get off of your high and mighty pedestal. You're not the only one who got hurt in this mess"
"Oh, yeah, I'm sure you got real hurt" she said, sarcastically. "You don't give a f*** about any of this!" Shawn raised his eyebrows at her profanity but he knew it was for the best-the only way to get Belle to listen and to be honest was to get her mad as hell.
"Belle, you have no idea what you're talking about" he said, trying to calm himself down. "I was very upset over what happened-I just didn't let anyone see it"
"What did you have to be upset about?"
"I'm the one that had to sit and watch you flirt with Jason, the "ladies man", next door" he said, his anger increasing at the name.
"Why do you care if I flirt with Jason?" she asked. "It's of no concern of yours"
"Yeah, it is" he said. "I don't want to see anything happen to you...I don't want to see you get hurt"
"You didn't seem too concerned about that when the whole mess with the Last Blast bet came out" she said. Shawn closed his eyes at the memory.
"Alright, I deserved that" he said.
"You deserve a whole hell of a lot more than that" she said, stomping away. This time she slipped out of her grasp and hurried back towards the house. He hurried after her and caught her around the waist close to the shoreline.
"Shawn, don't touch me!" she screamed, trying to pull herself from his grasp.
"No, I need you to stand and listen to me" he said, struggling to keep her in his arms. She fought him for a few minutes as the water came up and broke around their ankles. Finally she grew tired of fighting him and leaned back in his arms to catch her breath. He held onto her tightly, feeling her heartrate slow against his chest.
"Belle, please listen to me" he pleaded, one last time. Slowly, she turned to face him and it was then when he saw the tears streaming down her face.
"I can't Shawn" she said, pushing her tears roughly away. "I'm sorry but I can't. I've been hurt so many times before by you. I know you don't mean to do it on purpose but I've spent so many nights crying over something you've said or done. And my heart has broken so many times that I don't know if I can trust you anymore"
"Belle, you can always trust me" he said, his throat clenching, as he too fought back tears.
"Shawn, I'm sorry, but I just can't" she said, sliding out of his graps. "I...just...can't" Shawn watched as she paushed a moment to blink hard and clear her vision. She looked back at him and his heart broke at the pain and hurt and despair that was written all over her beautiful features.
"Belle, wait..." he said.
"Good bye Shawn" she answered, turning on her heel to go. He watched her walk away before he finally came out of his trance. He ran after her and caught her arm. Spinning her around, he grabbed her in his arms. She stared up at him with a mixture of surprise and fear as he took a deep breath and pressed his lips up against hers.