Oops!

Glendale, CA

Robert shovestall, 37, shot himself while explaining gun safety to his wife in Glandale, CA, when he placed a .45 caliber pistol he thought was unloaded under his chin and pulled the trigger.

Shovestall’s wife told the police that the incident occurred after her complaints about her husband’s 70 guns prompted him to demonstrate to her they were safe.

What to do if an Anaconda attacks you:

The Following excerpt is from the US Government Peace corps Manual for volunteers working in the Amazon jungle. It details what to do if an Anaconda attacks you. The Anaconda is the largest snake species in the World. It grows to 35 ft in length and weighs 300 to 400 pounds.

1. If an anaconda attacks you, do not run. The snake is faster than you are.
2. Lie flat on the ground. Put your arms tight against your sides. Your legs tight against one another.
3. Tuck your chin in.
4. The snake will begin to nudge and climb over your body.
5. Do not panic.
6. After the snake has examined you, it will begin to swallow you from the feet end-always from the feet end. Permit the snake to swallow your feet and ankles. Do not panic!
7. The snake will now begin to suck your legs into its body. You must lie perfectly still. This will take a long time.
8. When the snake has reached your knees slowly and with as little movement as possible, reach down, take your knife and very gently slide it into the side of snake’s mouth between the edge of its mouth and your leg, then suddenly rip upwards, severing the snake’s head.
9. Be sure you have your knife.
10. Be sure your knife is sharp.

Man wearing “Fugitive” T-Shirt really was wanted by cops:

By the Associated Press. (7-3-02- Bremen-Ind)

The T-Shirt said: “Fugitive, You never saw me”. The man wearing it wished police hadn’t. Christopher J. Antus was arrested Monday during routine traffic stop while sporting the bright orange shirt.

Well, I guess you are going to have to come with me, state police trooper Jerrod Patty said. Antus asked why?

Patty pointed to the T-shirt: Well, your shirt says you’re a fugitive.

The Trooper learned that the shirt Antus was wearing was no joke.

Antus, 24, was wanted on an arrest warrant charging him with failure to appear in court, a felony in northern Indiana’s Marshall County.

Antus was jailed without bond Tuesday.

Who was that masked man?

Billings, Montana- A man after spending two years in prison for bank robbery filed an appeal for wrongful imprisonment.

He claimed innocence even though his partner in crime clearly identified him.

He had a unique defense, which proved fatal to his cause.
Transcripts of the appeal revealed a clever, if unconvincing argument. He thought that the tellers could not have possibly identified him correctly.

Among his most unforgettable quotes were, “ How could the people in the bank have identified me? I had a mask on when I did the job.”

His appeal was denied.

Falling cows? Driver didn’t have a chance when cow fell from the sky:

By the Associated press-6/27/02-VIENNA-AUSTRIA

Drivers in the farming regions know to be on the lookout for animals that stray onto the road, but even the most cautious seldom scan the heavens for livestock.

A 36-year-old woman should have been doing that Thursday when a cow strayed from a hillside pasture to the top of the tunnel entrance and then fell onto her car.

The woman was hospitalized with minor chest and foot injuries. Her husband in the passenger seat was unharmed. The cow died after being hit when it fell 15 feet just as the car was leaving the tunnel.

Wrong Bank:

Dresden, GERMANY (Reuters)

A man who tried to rob a bank in the eastern German city of Dresden Wednesday fled empty handed after being told the bank moved out of its old premises several days earlier. Police said the would–be bandit entered the office wearing a mask and carrying a gun. Several people working there told him that the bank had moved out.

“ He was completely amazed and then fled.” A Police spokesman said.

Once is not enough:

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania- Have you ever wondered what it would feel like to be shot? Well, Phil Horner wanted to do something about it, so he took a gun and shot himself in the shoulder. While this may sound odd, it gets even more weird.

Recently a 911 call came to dispatch and an ambulance was once again sent to the Horner residence. It seems that he shot himself one more time.

The reason? In his own words, “ I wanted to see if it hurt as much as it did the first time.”

Funeral worker discovers ‘corpse’ not really dead:

By the Associated Press: (8-12-02) Paris

The death certificate had been signed, and the body had been sent to the funeral parlor and put in refrigeration. So imagine the surprise of the funeral parlor worker in France who was preparing the body of a 68-year-old man for burial when the man’s stomach started to move.

The parlor worker tells French television that he “ jumped” when he realized the corpse he was working on was actually still alive.

The man was quickly transferred to a hospital and put in intensive care. But he died a short time later. The hospital says that such errors are rare, but not totally improbable. An autopsy will be performed to determine the cause of the man’s death.

Never mind:

St, Peters, MO

When an armed robber who took less than $100 from a 7-11 store in St.Peters, MO couldn’t get his get-away car started, he returned to the store, handed back the money and told the two clerks that it was all a joke. They agreed to give his vehicle a jump-start, not to write down his license plate number and wait about 40 minutes before calling the police. “ We have a friendly town out here”, police officer David Kuppler noted, indicating the suspect was arrested anyway about an hour later.