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" I met my seven-year-old cousin recently in Chennai. As I hadn't been to Chennai for quite some time, nearly two years, I kind of felt like I'd lost touch with things. And this kid was hell bent on going out for an ice cream, so I decided to take him out for lunch and chat with him a little. Now I didn't have much experience in talking to seven year-olds. So I started the conversation by asking him the age old question - "What do you want to become when you grow up ?" "A terrorist !", he said. I was shocked to hear this. A terrorist? Nevertheless, I continued talking to him. "Whatever on earth gave you that idea ?" "Oh, I read about it in the newspapers and saw it on T.V too." Obviously, I thought, in such matters, the media had to be involved! I decided to try and talk him out of it. This was mainly because I was of the opinion that such notions should never anybody's head. And here was a seven-year-old, sprouting such nonsense, with which he seemed pretty happy. Sure, he would grow out of it! But rather than waiting for time to knock some sense into his head, I decided to do it myself. "Are you sure about your decision ?" "Yes, positive !" "But why ?" "Because being a terrorist has a lot of advantages !" "Who says that ?" "I figured that out myself" "But being a terrorist would mean breaking laws !" "That's even better, You see, I've already got experience in that field. I keep breaking rules in school" "But that's wrong" "Yes, I know" "If you know it, why are you doing it ?" "Because I like it !" It seemed this boy had an answer for everything. These new-generation smart alecs! But I was determined to prove him wrong. "Okay, forget that. What are the advantages you figured out?" "Well, firstly, I can do anything I want and get away with it" "Don't you do that at home?" "Well, yes, but now I've decided to do it on a national scale and besides, my father said that the police and the army don't catch anybody !" "Your father didn't mean it that way. He was just saying that they've become slightly lazier." The boy didn't look too convinced. He had that 'I-know-what-I'm-talking-about' look on his face. Then I added "Besides, they don't catch anybody because they shoot them dead. If somebody is dead, you can't CATCH him, right ?" Then his face changed a little. I think he was pretty surprised at this point. Why am I talking about death, I wondered to myself. I'd better change the subject. "Okay, forget shooting, what's the next point ?" I said "I don't have to work forever. I can work for a short period of time, retire and then live on the looted money." "Let me inform you, terrorists don't loot. They only kill to oppose the government. If you want to loot and rob, you'll have to become a gangster or a robber." "No, I don't want to do that" "Why ?" "I saw 'Satya' recently, In that most of the gangsters die. I don't want to die" He stopped for a moment. Then he looked at me intently. "Are you SURE terrorists don't rob ?" "Yes, positive" Now I could see a distinct frown on his face. I continued, deciding to stick to movies, since that was something he could identify with. Thank god for Hindi cinema, I thought. Each time they make a movie on terrorists, they kill off all of them, to prevent glamourising terrorism, and to generate audience sympathy. "If you see 'Maachis', even in that the terrorists die." He didn't say anything. "In the movie 'Dil se..', Manisha Koirala is a terrorist. Even she dies" "Manisha Koirala's a girl. I am NOT a girl" he shot back. He was angry now because he was losing the argument, I thought. God, these kids! He remained silent for a while, in thought. Then his face lit up. "Couldn't I become a terrorist and then reform like Phoolan Devi ? Then I could get away with anything. She didn't have to do anything." "Who says ? She had to serve a term in jail after she gave up dacoity. Do you want to go to jail ?" "No" he said His face had become pretty sullen. Then I delivered the final blow. "If you're caught by the army, you'll be hanged to death" He looked at me with panic. "Now, do you still want to be a terrorist ?" I asked "No, no way" "Let's go home. You can think about what you want to be to-day night, Okay ?" "Okay" I was pretty happy at having got that stupid idea out of his head. "Yes!" , I said to myself. Maybe I should take up social reform as a career. Next morning, as we went out for a movie (which happened to be 'Dil se..' , I asked him "What do you want to be when you grow up ?" "A politician" "But that's worse" I shouted "I know" Here we go again ----- Aarthi Parthasarathy (Written in 2000) BACK to the Main Page