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Haiku About Air Travel
1. "Stewardess," I ask, "I wonder, is your nose real? Please refill my drink." 2. The beverage cart Stands in the aisle's center. God, I have to pee. 3. I look to the front: Dumb and Dumber with no sound. Oh, what misery. 4. Turbulence: what fun. The plane tosses and tumbles. Six bucks for a drink? 5. Somewhere in my dreams I beat a screaming baby. God, I hate the red eye. 6. Woman in fur coat, I'm seated next to you, yes, But don't talk to me. 7. They closed the curtains But I can still smell your meal. Bastards in first class. 8. Clouds make mountains Goats dance merrily on top I close the shade. 9. The contents may shift In overhead compartments. Can I have a Coke? 10. This is your captain Feel free to eat your peanuts I've turned off the signs. 11. Sun fades behind clouds Twilight flies across the plane My lamp doesn't work. 12. Scattered roasted nuts - An overturned beverage cart Lord, what have we done? 13. Do not use your phone While the plane is in midair. There's one on your seat. 14. When I was a boy, Airline travel was magic: Playing cards were free. 15. Paralyzing thirst - Ice cube in a plastic cup - Please, sir, another? 16. Destitute salmon. Tuna forgot what it was. Mmmmm, airport sushi. 17. Snowed in Chicago. The flight delayed for three days. Thanks for the damn cot. 18. Limp day-old lettuce, Two crackers, slice of fake cheese - They call this breakfast? Written by Christina Nicosia, Mike Tarantino, and Jonathan Van Gieson |