Vice  Versa

I'm trapped on a rung
Too high to jump down
Too far down to climb up
Reality runs through my brain
Like the 7:30 train to work
If you jump out to it
It won't stop and you will die
Smashed in the face
With the 7:30 train
No time to chat 
I have an appoitment
A date with reality
That will no be broken
No time to see
The special beauty before you
There are things you do
That will always come first
Never beauty
Just the other engagements
Beauty does fade
If left alone in the sun
Christmas lights shine bright
But shed no light upon the truth
Of a broken matter
Drinks pour down my throat
Smoke fills my lungs
Then they both seap into the channels 
Which lead to the brain
But they do no good
Reality still won't fade
I will be gone before it is known
Windows are open
Windows are closed 
Birds sing songs of joy
Joy or sorrow
Never known
But only guessed
Guessed by men
In long white trench coats
Which predict sudden death soon
Sudden cahos will end us all
Before good bye is said
Children's cry
For different causes
It must be guessed 
And comforted quick
Before everyone is awake
Awake with sleep in their eyes
And fresh dreams brewing within
Dreams of death
Dreams of birth
Murders
Sex
Happiness and vice versa
A parade goes by
People seem happy until it is over
The clowns will shed laughter
And the bands will play tunes
They bring smiles to depressed faces
If only for a moment
Today is the 13th month
Of a different dimension
One of altered shapes
And different times
Bubble gum produces bubbles
Soap produces cleanliness
And people produce war
Hate 
Murder
Death
And destruction
Flukes produce love
Peace
Tranquility
And honesty
The date has begun
On a different day
A new day which I must face
For all eternity
A day of reality
A day of realization

Screaming Soul

My soul screams from deep inside
Help, let me out,
I'm Wallowing in anguish and doubt.
self pity, wounded pride.

My heart breaks, spirit in pain
sobbing a song
depression numbing my brain
dark river rolls along.

Oh light, where is the light
a single ray 
to chase away the night
where demons like to play.

Helping hand to lift me up
is all I ask
from the depths of fowl muck
hide my shame, happy mask.

Smile, chase away my tears
show me the way
to erase mighty fears
turn my night into day.

Honesty is Policy

Sometimes I wonder how it would be 
If you could, for once, be honest with me: 
Speak to my mind, not to my heart, 
If you still love me, don't tell me to part  
If you don't love me, don't tell me you do, 
Ignore the past hurt, and for once be true. 

I can't handle this madness, this in-between stage, 
Wherein our love dissipates as we age. 
I can't handle not knowing what you really feel 
I can't stand not knowing if our love's still real. 
My heart can be strong, but not as much as you'd guess  
For it weakens and bleeds through all of this stress. 

Simplicity speaks comfort to mind: 
"Remember when our hearts were two-of-a-kind, 
Remember when we said we'd love forever, 
Remember when we pledged to part never. 
Remember when you loved to touch my face..." 
But I say these words to empty space. 

Oh, god, I know pain, I've felt it before, 
I don't want it again, but I can't stand to ignore 
What is happening here, what is happening to Us, 
The sweetness turns sour, the love turns to lust. 
The purity fades, and all that is left 
Are two hearts longing to save the bereft. 

Then again, what do I know? You tell me naught. 
So I am left here, alarmed and distraught. 
I wish you would tell me if you still think we'll survive, 
And if we do not, well, I can't change your mind. 
Just tell me the truth, be true to your "Love", 
For this confusion has the worst sting I know of.

Silence

Each beat of silence flings back
The darkness
and i stare into his eyes
Motionless and without life. 
Confusion plays on the
black asphalt and
then when his whirling, hungry
rain comes sliding by,
i dip my fingers into the
lukewarm puddles that fail to
Evaporate.
and pain descends onto his features
interrupting that halo of rumbling fire.

Each beat of silence flings back
The light
and i stare into a vacant face
With only a thin smile that
Glimmers and fades when i
grind my heel into the ground
and press my tainted fingers
Hard
into the green veins of a flower
that has withdrawn from the
black asphalt and
then when his haunting, wild
clouds come washing in,
i calmly ignite the small pyre between us.
we stare at the flashing wavelengths of night
and i boil my expression of faith
into dancing laughter and
watery illusions because...

Each beat of silence flings back
The heat
and i have to soak my
pale and roughened skin
in the spreading silence
and wipe my lukewarm fingers 
Hard 
on a flower that lies smoking on the
black asphalt.

Waiting for the phone to ring at 2 am.

Sing-a-long hums and ragged breath
Fight amongst themselves
upon the electric blue sparks
and dark stretching night.
White walls are gray
and spasming
throughout her expressions
of sullen temper.
Telephone, cozy and it hums 
She hums
To electric snakes snaking
Round and around her eyes
And they widen and soften
Listening to the staccato
of a whirling fan
and the heaven cradled to her ear
She smiles, barely
Relinquishing some of the criss-crossed shadows
where they eagerly
splatter the walls and
drip through her hair.
So it is hours from daybreak
and the night reflects back
the faint wails of passing trains
struggling with their blindness
and black snake tracks.
She presses close to the
white crackle and hum
Tenderly watching her sheets bunch
up to her tight neck.
Across and entwining.
She twirls in her little room
holding this other place
under her swaying neck.
The sheets fall to her feet
just as trains begin to scream
and black snake tracks writhe
and worm
strangling out the shadows
Lingering  hesitant
As they watch the blue-white
of electric spark run through them.
She tumbles to her side
Crowning her ashen face
with sheets.
The cords are clumsy
and envelope her legs
holding her tighter.
She claws at the telephone
painful and enraged
at its droning silence.
She speaks into it
but only hears the sounds of
trains flipping and colliding.
Her telephone rips from the wall easily
She smashes the innards onto her
salty sheets  
content
to watch the day come to her
at a crawl.