What I have heard I will now share. What my eyes have seen I will now give to you. What I have been told I will now pass on. I pass on knowledge but only you can transform it into wisdom. In a time when the stories are dieing and the truth is hard to find, these words carry on a lineage, a tradition, as old as time. I give it to you with gladness..

To tell you this story I must first give to you the secret of names.

Names have power. They have the power to bestow or to diminish. They have the power to control or to free. Some names are worn proudly, a medallion well earned, while others wound and scar. There are names and names. Many names are given. It is not these names that concern us here. True names; the names of the heart are earned. To know the true name of something is a blessing.

There are only two names in this story. They are true names and names of the heart.

I share with you the secret name of an eagle. It is a sound name. A name carried high on the wind. A name that spans the chasm between the thunder heads of clouds and the crests of waves. It is a scream on the wind. It is Eee-aay.

Eee-aay is a sea eagle. Like all sea eagles she is air and water. Unlike almost all other eagles however, Eee-aay is also of fire and earth and always she has one eye on the water and one eye on the sky. Her story, her journey, is complicated by having as her totems the wild duck and the tiger.

How can it be that a sea eagle should have such totems? I have no knowledge of this. It may be that she had spent past lives in such dreamings. It may be because she had an unusual childhood with many confusions. Whatever the cause, Eee-aay was different. She had always felt herself to be more than an eagle.

Let me describe her to you. Eee-aay was beautiful with piercing eyes that flashed dark and light - deep obsidian to firestorm red and flecks of gold - scintillating. Her talons and beak were strong and yet capable of remarkable gentleness. Her wingspan, wider than her friends, took her early on long journeys; on calm days gliding from high thermals down to the cliff-face breezes of her beloved coastline. In storms she let herself be tossed from crashing wave crest to wind racked beaches playing with the force of gales and screaming out in answer to the thunder's warnings. Salt drenched, Eee-aay would return to the nest long after her parents had given her up for lost and taken shelter, huddling close against the storm. Each time she longed to share her adventures. Each time they chastised her for what they saw as recklessness.

I said that this story contained only two names. It is now time to tell you that second name.

Yet they were mates. This is the story of Eee-aay and Mani.

It was at the time of the great sickness. From high above it was obvious. The land was being destroyed. The rivers were dieing and the humans poisoning themselves. From high above the sickness was clear. Down below it seemed that one symptom of the sickness was that the humans did not realise what they were doing to themselves and others.

At the time of the great sickness, Eee-aay and Mani lived in a place called Threshold. It was far from both their home nests. It was an edge. The journey that had brought them together had started late. Eee-aay had mated early in her life with a gentle and beautiful eagle with whom she shared much. Their life together in the high chill air of a Nouthern island had come to an end when she and her mate had been caught in cross currents. He blown into the mountains, she, up an endless coastline washed in sunshine. Somewhere in the journey she found herself flying wingtip to wingtip with a strange wild-eyed eagle. At first she found him simply peculiar. He looked like a mature eagle, but behaved like a first flight fledgling. It was true he could catch fish. But not always the right variety. His diving was spectacular but his tendency to bounce off the water was awkward, embarrassing and somewhat disconcerting.

"Why do you fish like that?"

"Because I can."

"But that is not the way that eagles fish."

Mani flashed a glance at her and swooped away awkwardly towards the coastline far below. Soon he was nothing but a speck and then vanished. Eee-aay flew on until night and tiredness forced her to find a resting place. It was a place of many birds but few eagles.

"Come. I have found a home for you."

Eee-aay woke to find Mani flapping to a landing beside her.

"Why should I go with you?"

But Mani did not answer. Instead he tumbled off the ledge and plummeted downward. Faster and faster he hurtled close to the cliff face until it seemed he must shatter himself against the seas-washed rocks at the base. Eee-aay gasped and turned her head away, unable to watch. Then she heard him cry out.

"Maaaniiii!"

The sound pierced her with a dreadful recognition. He had given her his name. Eee-aay launched herself into the arms of the wind. High she flew. Higher than the thermals had ever taken her. High; to the place where the air could not support her, where breath was forced, where cold reigned. Still he climbed after her. Letting go she tilted and spun down, rushing to meet him feeling the exhilaration of speed and danger as they almost collided. And the electric storm unleashed as at great speed their wingtips touched in a lightning caress.

"Eeeee-aaaay!" she screamed and saw him shudder at her gift and roll backward in an abandoned release. Refusing to regain equilibrium he let himself tumble through the air. Her dive took her swiftly too the flailing eagle. Her wing extended strengthened his and he pulled up into a glide beside her. Wing on wing, eyes locked they drifted in calm air as they took in the enormity of what was happening.

"You?" she asked at last.

"Yes me." He seemed so sure.

"From where does it come?"

"This feeling?"

"This knowing and unknowing."

Silence as they rose above a headland and still wing-locked circled out to sea.

"Before." His voice was steady, calm amidst the wonder. "Before. We have flown before. In other bodies, other times, and somehow found each other."

"Mani." She said his name for the first time, feeling the pieces of the puzzle locking into place and conscious too of some alarm. There was a danger here.

"Eee-aay."

In the warmth of afternoon sun, in the turning of the breeze offshore, they mated. The rapture of raptors is theirs to speak of if they will and I will not say more than this. For Mani it was homecoming and the beginning of the time of healing. For Eee-aay it was completion and the ecstasy of true bonding. If she was more than eagle she was well met and if he was less than eagle in some aspects this was not one of them.

But the story of Eee-aay and Mani was just beginning.

Together they built a nest. True, it was small, but it was a beginning. But there was also unease. Mani driven by a need to fill the gaps left in him from his having been hand-reared, often flew long journeys in search of his true parents. He would return with strange tales of distant lands; places which were the domain of storks, or ravens, of multi-coloured parrots or the blood covered heads of vultures. Often he would bring back coloured stones or feathers from exotic birds and Eee-aay, tired from keeping the nest alone would scold him.

"You are acting like a magpie, not an eagle!"

"But they are beautiful, and I brought them for you" he would protest.

"I have no need of such things. I need the nest repaired. I need fish and..." she took a deep breath, "I need a companion."

For a time Mani would remain at home and swoop down each day to bring back fish and news of the world. Such news he brought, such tales and for a time they would laugh and gasp at his antics. Once he picked up an octopus that had been sunning itself on the surface. It filled the nest to such an extent that they had to live on bare rocks until it was consumed.

"Too much!" Eee-aay protested. "Can't you do things like a normal eagle?"

Yet she still laughed for there was much love in her and still she quivered with delight at the smell of him as he nestled in beside her. The unease was growing though. Eee-aay's dreams at night took her at times into the tiger-totem land where pleasure was warm earth beneath the pads of her large paws. Where the cold salt spray and heady pleasures of the storm were exchanged for jungle green and sunlit clearing sprawled back against the rock. Or to her duck-totem rivers and communal lily-studded pools - drifting in slow languid luxury. Yet she would wake to the overcrowded nest. His addition of colourful souvenirs stifling her and awaking longings for the clean hard lines of wood.

Eee-aay's uncertainty grew to the point that one day, when she found she was carrying an egg, she quietly flew off and laid it on a rocky headland. She left it there and never returned to it in anything else but her dreams. Mani's dreams were of emptiness.

The other impact on their lives was the sickness. Mani's hunt for news brought back sad tales of the spreading destruction and from aloft the impact of the human carelessness was every day more evident. The coral was dieing a slow death, feeding on the poisonous run-off from the land. Many fish were now scarce and none tasted quite the same. Foul water spread its silt ever further and rain lost its former sweetness. The air too was carrying death and the humans' desire for speed and comfort was being paid for by the deaths of other species.

Eee-aay was also becoming more involved with matters. She spent more time at the Parliament of the Birds. There she spent long hours discussing the sickness and helping devise the strategies that might assist in their survival. Each night, tired out she would return to Threshold and collapse with exhaustion. Mani's attempts to cheer her up falling on deaf ears.

"I am going away."

Mani's statement came as no surprise. He had just returned from another of his long solo flights to foreign lands, and his restlessness was causing Eee-aay much concern. But to leave? A choking grasped at her throat but she stifled it, knowing that unless he found what he was searching for there would always be a flaw in their bond. She watched as he flew off, resolutely into the face of an incoming storm. She was still staring far out to sea when the storm struck and for an instant she saw him silhouetted against the clouds, a flailing speck caught between the turbulent sky and the churning ocean. It was then she wailed. "Eeeee-aaaay!" but he was gone.

He was gone a long time. She remembered him, but it was small comfort and deep in her bones she craved the smell of him, the strength and laughter.

"If you don't drink from the stream you don't value the stream" said another eagle.

"Yes, and they no longer drink from the stream" agreed a Powerful Owl. "They have lost touch with the land."

"A long time ago."

"When the new ones came; the white ones."

Now there was less and less debate at the Parliament of the Birds. They talked of the sickness, they talked of the changing weather patterns and their numbers grew fewer.

"And what news of the Newsbringer?" The Owl asked, using the Parliament's nickname for Mani.

"None, I'm afraid" Eee-aay replied quietly.

"Maybe he has gone back to his humans?" snorted a Currawong. "Once touched, always tainted, I say."

"Not true!" chirped in a cockatiel, "I have heaps of friends who escaped from them and reckon they aren't bad, just dumb."

And so the months went. Eee-aay worked at the Parliament and struggled to keep her nest going. From time to time rumour of Mani surfaced. He had started gathering news again. He had been seen catching fish far out at sea. He was friends with a galah. It was all rumour and eventually Eee-aay stopped listening. But she didn't stop growing. As the days and week went by she found herself more and more able to cope. She fished close inshore and always did well. She was however extremely tired and she longed for the laughter and companionship of her mate.

And Mani?

Mani had stayed in the storm. It drove him further and further south, depositing him in an isolated bay on a desolate island. For months he practised being a total eagle. He sat high on the thermals watching the birds below and then attempting to copy their style. He relaxed and let the air carry him. He stopped fighting to be the highest and best of all he started to enjoy himself. Eventually he was able to float high above the ocean and spot the telltale signs of the fish. The circles of turbulence caused by the larger fish attacking the schools of small prey. Instead of his old habit of rushing in and catching by almost stunning the fish he learned to wait until the marauding fish were totally occupied by their hunt and then he would fold his wings back and dive. Flattening out just above the waters surface he would shoot out his talons and pluck a plump fish from the surface. And all the time he dreamed of Threshold and Eee-aay.

Eventually Mani came out of the storm he had surrounded himself in. He soared low over the ocean, following the humps and hollows of the storm's aftermath, cruising the shoreline and spiralling up every now and then to get his bearings. There was no doubt in his mind; he was heading north.

Eee-aay saw him in the distance and for once her doubts subsided. Here was her mate and she had a choice. She could sway to the side of caution, or she could accept him back into the nest. He circled again and she flew to his side. For a moment they hovered and then, wing-tips touching they let the breeze carry them up.

"Never again!" it was not a question.

"Never." He replied. And it was true. He would not leave again.

Mani flew beside her and she knew that he was now grown into himself. He would always be different as she would be, but they were bonded. Around them their friends swooped and swirled; playfully tipping the older birds' wings and buffeting them with close swooping laughter. Below them, in deep water, school of fish broke the surface in panic, but for once were safe. An eagle does not live by fish alone.

It was a change of seasons. Changes were in the air. Eee-aay knew that she still had unease. Her work at the Parliament of the Birds was important, but it was also stressful and depressing. Mani too was impatient. Threshold had been fine for a while but a change was needed. He sensed Eee-aay's restlessness and tried to move forward. A new nest? Not yet. A long flight to new lands, together? Not yet. And Eee-aay still dreamed of her other totems; the tiger - padding alone, complete and certain, and the duck community, closed knitted and secure. She dreamed, too, of Mani's adventures and craved one for herself.

And then it happened.

"I did not plan this." but she knew she had.

"Go." He said, attempting to be brave.

"I let him touch me. I wanted to know what you felt."

"I was wounded. I would not have survived." it sounded lame.

"You never told me the truth about it."

"Forgive me," was all he could reply, "I did not ask to be touched.

Torn between love and adventure, she shook her head. "No, unless I do this now, I will never know."

Mani nodded, knowing it was true.

And so Eee-aay flew. She flew a little further north to where she had met the human who was so kind to birds. She circled the grove of trees and settled into the neat surroundings. She let it happen. He approached her with a grin and gave her fish. Not quite as fresh, but nevertheless fed her and then the moment she had been waiting for. The man extended his hands and lifted her gently from the earth. It was such pleasure to rest, in air, supported. She talked to him for such a long time. He smiled and nodded. He listened. With Mani it had always been such high energy and tiring, no, that was not quite right. Since he had returned she sensed a stillness.. but that was not here and that was not now.

High on the wind, beyond the hearing of the man who now held her in his arms she heard a cry " Eeeee-aaaay!" and then the words "Come back" she blocked it out and returned her attention to the man. It was so restful.

During the day Eee-aay returned to the Parliament of the Birds with new energy. At night she spent time with her memories and then flew north. The man showed her how to land on his arm. He let her talk and talk and appeared to understand her. He gave her more fish and carried her on his arm to quiet tranquil places. Why should she go back to Mani? He had betrayed her. He had gone away. He was not a complete eagle. Never had been never could be. Here she was appreciated.

The man's friends marvelled at the way this giant bird could trust him, land upon his wrist and share his food. They listened too, when she spoke. But none of them ever told Eee-aay their secret name. Neither did the man.

Mani grieved the loss of Eee-aay. He flew silent and alone. At first he slept on a rock ledge, swearing never to enter Threshold, but soon realised that Threshold was where he was; a state of mind, and not a place. And so he transformed it. He took the sorrow of his broken heart and built a new Threshold from the pieces. It was a sparse wooden nest and held none of his old gatherings. He talked with his friends from the Parliament of the Birds but found little joy in their gossip. The sickness was everywhere now and even the birds' sense of priorities seemed skewed. When the Currawong started going on about "Once touched, always tainted" Mani flew away and never returned to the Parliament of the Birds.

For Eee-aay the pleasure was profound but slowly her dreams began to change. Her tiger self stalked the forest, low growl in the throat, unable to settle. On the duck pond the ducks still floated with her but she sensed some tensions. They don't understand that I can love a human, she thought, but old man trout broke the surface and whispered.

"Forgiveness. You have not learned forgiveness".

Eee-aay also knew as a tiger, as a duck and especially as an eagle that the man, for all his tenderness, did not smell right. The burrowed into smell of Mani was the smell of a bond far stronger than pleasure, more certain than flesh.

"But I need you too" said the man.

"I love you, but you are not an eagle."

It was true. And then she knew that now she and Mani were the same again. Different and the same. Individual and yet mates. Both eagles that had been touched. He was the tiger prowling the forest beside her. He was there with her in the pond and most of all he was the one who shared her fire. In that moment she knew where she was flying.

"I will always be your friend," she said to the man, and knew that it was true. "I will visit from time to time and we will talk. But from now on I will go fishing for fresh fish with my mate."

And so she flew, hoping that somehow she could find Mani.

And if you sit on a headland and watch you will see her searching. She rides the thermals and dives to the waves. She is the beautiful sea-eagle Eee-aay and she has one eye on the ocean and one eye on the sky. And every now and then, if you are lucky you will hear her call her mate. High in the wind the cry goes out "Maaaniiii!"

Far away waiting on the Threshold he hears it and calls back "Eeeee-aaaay" and there is joy in their cries for though you may never see it, late at night when the fishing is done, Eee-aay is going home.

Frazer Island September 1998

(C) Sandy McCutcheon.

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