There are things in this life that are true - absolutely true.
Children think they know all these things.
Men talk as if they do.
But is is only woman who really know.
Woman's Ways
Clearly, only a woman is skilled enough to change
a toliet paper roll because no one else has ever
tried it.
The only time you ever lose weight is after you
finally give in and buy something that fits.
Woman don't really feel invigorated after aerobics.
They crave a jelly doughnut and a nap.
Feeding Facts
If you are attempting to do anything involving tomato
sauce, you should plan to change your shirt
Every kid in the neighborhood is your child's best friend
when you open a box of ice pops.
Admit it: You have feed your children cereal for dinner.
If you don't feed your children lunch, they are more likely to
eat what you fix for dinner.
Men and Woman
If you put something on the steps to be taken upstairs,
men will walk past it 99 times out of 100. On their 100th trip,
they will complain that if you keep putting stuff on the
steps, someone will fall and get hurt.
If your husband asks you, "Where do you keep it?" He really
means he wants you to get it.
Coping With Kids
Let your neighbor put up the outdoor basketball hoop or gym
in the backyard. Then your children might acutally use it.
Mothers put 20,000 miles a year on their cars - 1 1/2 mile at
a time.
It is a common misconception that "sleep over" means
sleeping at someone's house. It does not. It means
after your child spends the night at another child's house,
your child has to do the sleeping part of it sometime the
next afternoon or she will not be fit to live with.
Only mothers put caps back on markers, because they paid
for them.
No matter how much laundry you do, the outfit your
daughter absolutely has to wear is not clean.
You know your child has reached abolescence when the
field-trip permission slips come home with "I will not be able
to chaperone" already checked off
True Lies
"I don't have any." Most common response by a child to an
adult asking about homework. Almost always a lie, and you
will find that out 30 minutes before bedtime
"My mom lets me." The most common phrase uttered by a
child to an adult who is not his parent. Almost always a lie.
And finally the truest of true facts: It is easier
to do it yourself!
Written By Susan Reimer