Tom Hanks, Edward Burns, Barry Pepper, Adam Goldberg, Matt Damon, Matt Damon's teeth
Gee, if I was disillusioned with humanity before, the first twenty minutes of this movie made me wish that the asteroid that killed off Mr. T "Another Jurassic Park sequel or I eat you" Rex stopped of at Mars for a quick Cosmic McFlurry and waited until the first seeds of humanity were being sown before hitting earth and destroying everything. War Sucks.
Hey, I'm not saying I didn't like the movie. I was quite pleased that it didn't really glorify anything like a typical war movie, making everyone seem like superman, even when they had spent the last year in a trench eating rat guts covered in a light urinal sauce. Mmmmmm. finger-lickin' good.
Still, by the last war scene, I was tired of bang-bang-bang-boom, and all the other sounds of war. I got tired of war-speak and bombs, even those made by socks. By that time I was wishing that the allies magnified Matt Damon's teeth a few times and blinded the germans to death. Who needs guns when we've got bicuspids the size of Hitler's head and whiter than the virgin snow?
I mean really, Matt, did your mother mate with a wind-up set of dentures? Like Cathy said, it's nice to know that even battling on the field for a year does nothing to stem that boy's sense of dental hygiene. Wohha...
Personally, I thought the documentary style of this movie really drove reality straight into your head (much like a certain soldier who took his helmet off too soon...) and made you feel as if you were there among the blood and guts and boy grips holding microphones...wait...But I have to say to Stevie Spielberg that too much of the camcorder shots gives the audience a headache trying to follow it. This guy films with a SonyCam worse than _I_ do, and if you don't believe me, send a self addressed stamped envelope and $29.95 to recieve a copy of our trip to Europe tape last year.
But when the scenes were lagging, and germans spouting 40's trivia were few and far between, I simply looked to Ed Burns. And looked, and looked and looked. *drool*. What war? Adolf WHO? You want eye candy look no further than this veritable tank of succulent goodness. Ed Burns, you rock my world. (See also the God O' The Moment page)
This movie was filled with B-actors and indie guys. chances are you've seen almost all of them in SOMETHING. *little spoiler* for instance, when Giovanni Ribisi (Pheoebe's brother on Friends) was pumping out blood faster than Bill Gates' ATM spouts money, all I could think was, "I saw him completely naked in suburbia" the movie, not the planned community.
Well, anyway, this movie, even with Spielberg's Camcorder Madness (added for realism, i know), was worth the money I spent. But it made me realize that I wouldn't spend $5.89 to save humanity. Not by a long shot.
MY ADVICE: Go see this movie. However, if you're squeamish, I suggest you go in about a half hour late, after most of the blantant gore has been shown.