Why I Won't Date J. C. McGann
You've called me at least a dozen times
And I'm running out of excuses---
You're not comprehending
The message I'm sending
And I'm learning just what "obtuse" is.
Since obviously you're not introspective,
I will try to be quite objective.J. C. McGann,
You've a very nice tan,
And you're never disheveled or sloppy;
You're tall and you're slim,
You work out at a gym,
And you're wearing a good Rolex copy.J. C. McGann,
You've a new Chevy van
And a home with a most pleasant view, too---
You watch what you eat,
You won't look at red meat,
And salt is completely taboo, too.Anything beyond your ken,
You regard with scorn,
And nothing happened in the world
Before the day that you were born.
But one must listen closely to find this is true
Since most of the time you're talking of you.So I'll tell you, J.C. McGann,
Please don't bother to phone.
You're an extremely boring man
And I'd much rather stay home alone.You keep saying how you want to be with me---
And I keep repeating I don't want any of you---
But God must sure disagree with me
Cause he made so goddamn many of you.J. C. McGann,
You've a very nice tan,
And you're never disheveled or sloppy;
You're tall and you're slim,
You work out at a gym,
And you're wearing a good Rolex copy.J. C. McGann,
You've a new Chevy van
And a home with a most pleasant view, too---
You watch what you eat,
You won't look at red meat,
And salt is completely taboo, too.Anything beyond your ken,
You look upon with scorn,
And nothing happened in the world
Before the day that you were born.
But one must listen closely to find this is true
Since most of the time you're talking of you.So I'll tell you, J.C. McGann,
Please don't bother to phone.
You're an extremely boring man
And I'd much rather stay home alone.