Come Back, Jack

When a love affair is over,
Some girls take to pills,
Some girls blow their top,
Some turn on the gas,
Others shop until they drop.
But me, I just sit here and cry
Into my hot pastrami on rye.

Potatoes, potatoes
To bake or to boil,
Potatoes au gratin
Or deep-fried in oil,
And God only knows what I eat after that!
Come back, Jack,
I'm getting fat.

Turkey in gravy
With stuffing and yams,
Pork chops and schnitzels
And honey baked hams,
Large liver dumplings I've sautéed in grease---
Come back, Jack,
I'll be obese.

I'm losing self-esteem,
I'm getting fatter and fatter;
I'm putting whipping cream
Into the pancake batter.

Eclairs, canoli,
And tarts filled with fruit,
Croissants and donuts
With jelly, to boot!
Black bottom pies with a chocolate crust---
Come back, Jack!
I'm gonna bust!
I'm gonna bust!
 
 

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