We're not in love,
And, strange, but the fact is
Both of us seem quite resigned.
If this isn't love,
It's nice to just practice---
It's something to occupy the  mind.

Nothing uncouth
Or cloying and corny,
Deluded, demented and blind---
To tell you the truth
Even Cupid gets horny---
It's something to occupy the mind.

We're both young and fresh enough
And fairly free as the air;
If the devil is in the flesh enough,
Why not leave him there?

Who'll be the one
To look back and rue it?
Maybe we'll both be unkind;
But till it is done,
It's fun while we do it---
It's something to occupy the mind.
 

Female verse:
I won't knit you argyle socks
Though you might insist.
I won't scrub your kitchen floor
Unless you sprain your wrist.
I won't make you cordon bleu,
I won't bake you pie,
If you want a home cooked meal,
McDonald's is nearby.
How nice to avoid confusion
With a romance without an illusion.

No throwing books
When conflict commences,
No bloody noses you'll find---
We still keep our looks
And placate our senses.
It's something to occupy the mind.

What if you're not
My idea of Tristan?
I'm not Isolde enshrined.
It isn't a plot
That writers subsist on---
It's something to occupy the mind.

We're both fresh and young enough
And wise enough not to dote;
If the gift horse is cute and hung enough,
Why look down his throat?

No  sleepless nights
And no obligations,
No lover's lassos that bind;
We both keep our rights
And lose our frustrations---
It's something to occupy the mind.