What Can You Offer In Its Place?
What Can You Offer In Its Place?
I'm not an etymologist,
Don't give a hoot for words.
I'm not an ornithologist---
That stuff is for the birds.
I just don't like to dance that's all,
Can't boogie and can't waltz---
My hobby is romance, that's all,
And though it has its faults,
I will still recruit for it
Till someone finds a substitute for it.I've been ruled by love
And I've been fooled by love
And left with egg on my face---
Though it's a mess,
It still beats chess---
So what can you offer in its place?I've been slugged by love
And I've been mugged by love,
My heart's been hurt till it bled;
But prefer these pains
To model trains---
So what can you offer in its stead?On a handball or tennis court I've found,
I'm only in the way,
And love's the only competitive sport I've found
You don't have to stand up to play.Had my share by now
So I'm aware by now,
Love's arsenic, not old lace---
Though left with sores,
Badminton bores---
So what can you offer in its place?II
Though I've been hoked by love
And I've been choked by love
And left unchaste in the chase---
You don't get the hots
From craps or slots---
So what can you offer in it's place?I've been smashed by love
And I've been trashed by love
And soundly clubbed on the head;
But stamps and coins
Won't stir the loins---
So what can you offer in its stead?If it's tae kwon do or kung-fu I've found,
I always hurt my back;
If I'm gonna get black-and-blue I've found,
It is much more fun in the sack.I've been stunned by love
And I've been shunned by love,
And once had mace in my face---
But you cannot fuck
With a hockey puck---
So what can you offer in its place?