As the title says, it's a place for random quotes.  Could be inspirational, could be eye-catching, could be thinkers.  It may or may not have once been part of my MSN Messenger's nickname.  Tell me if I've misquoted.  As always, have fun!

My Quotes

"I complain like I'm 38, plan like I'm 28, act like I'm 18, and think like I'm 8...pika!"

Friends' Quotes--be careful what you say, it may end up here...

"Ah, those purple walls!"--Srinivas Patri, DSC Class of 2002 Valedictorian Speech

"Prashant J. loved crow."--Srinivas Patri, DSC Class of 2002 Valedictorian Speech

[on why most Computer Engineers fail out during their 2B term] "They've reached puberty."--unknown

If lblWaterloo.student <> know Then
       lblUTSC.student <> know
End If
                  --Mark Li

And of course, for the sake of completeness, "I'll buy you a new shirt!"--Siddharth Chitre

High School Teacher Quotes

[when giving out after school detentions when his classroom number was 320]  "3:20 in 320."--Mr. John Blaney

"Go away, you're taking all my oxygen!"--Mr. Gary Donovan

[What's the meaning of life?] "47."--Mr. Gary Donovan

Mr. Turner Quotes--inspired by high school math teacher Mr. Bryan Turner and suggested by Hirofumi Saito, Mr. Turner created legendary phrases that none of the students who have taken his courses will ever forget...

[teaching limits] "as we can see, for most students, there is a linear relationship between how many hours they've studied and test results.  [one dot stands out, high mark, low studying time]  All except for [student A].  He cheated.  We ignore it.  That is limits."

"Hence, or therefore..."

[during test/exam prep]  "Listen to your number."  [after randomly assigning numbers] "Ones in the back corner, twos over here.  Threes in the front, fours in the middle.  Fives up here [points to area near his desk] but not too close to me."

"Quickly, quietly, and efficiently."

[as the class acts up]  "Quickly, quietly, and much, much, more efficiently."

"ALL RIGHT CLASS--why am I yelling?..."

Finally, everyone of his students' favourite phrase *groan*:

"Ok, it's Friday...good day for a quiz...hence, or therefore, notebooks away, textbooks away, everything away but a pencil...ruler...a calculator perhaps...an eraser if you plan on making mistakes, though I don't know why you would...talking of course stops...talking of course stops...you may start as soon as you get it."

University Professor Quotes

[on teaching calculus methods for calculating work] "Ok, now is that famous box that everyone keeps pushing around."--Professor Chidichimo [in entry-level physics, diagrams are often drawn with boxes that represent objects, be it a car, a book, etc.]

[on psychology experimental young monkeys being isolated into an unfamiliar environment] "...if this was a coyote cartoon there would be a sign that says, 'eat me.' "--Professor Richard Ennis

"In order to have a good theory, you need to prove it false.  If a theory can't be proven false, it isn't a good theory."--Professor Richard Ennis

Movie Quotes

"I'm sure that there's some misunderstanding.  My son isn't a criminal.  Tell me how much [in bad cheques] he wrote, and I'll write you a cheque."--Paula Abagnale, Frank Abagnale's Jr.'s Mother.
"1.3 million dollars."--Frank Hanratty, Catch Me If You Can

"You know what they say; it's better to have loved and lost than to never to have loved at all."--Agent J.
"Try it."--Agent K, MIB

Famous Quotes

Yogi Berra

"It's de javu all over again."
"Alright, everyone get into pairs of threes."
"Thank you for making this day necessary."

Pass-around E-mails

Subject: Fwd: Worldwide Survey

Message: Last month, a worldwide survey was conducted by the UN.  The only question asked was:

"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a HUGE failure:

in Africa they didn't know what "food" meant;
in Eastern Europe they didn't now what "honest" meant;
in Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant;
in China they didn't know what "opinion" meant;
in the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant;
in South America they didn't know what "please" meant;
and in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.