The Fine Line Between Pain and Pleasure
Disclaimer in part 1. Song lyrics not mine either.
Part 7: A man of pleasure is a man of pains
Mulder's POV
I'm not a psychologist for nothing, I know he has been conditioning me in the weeks we have been together. His name *is* Skinner after all. I know I can't come any more without his permission. Being the stubborn mule that I am I tried once. I left work early and went back to my place. I put in my favorite porn tape and settled down in my favorite jerking off position. I got hard but no matter what I did I couldn't come.
Now as he enters me again I know he is right I need some recoup time. Even moving slow and gentle is painful to me. But I wouldn't ask him to stop no matter how much it hurt. I feel the change in his breathing and know he is close. I think he will stroke me now but he doesn't. He thrusts into me one last time and then I feel him shudder as he comes. Then he lies there holding me but nothing more. I'm rock hard and thinking maybe he isn't going to let me come after all..
He slowly pulls out of me and I groan like I always do when I loose him. He then pushes me on to my back and starts kissing me. The man could give lessons in kissing let me tell you. When Walter Skinner kisses you know you have been kissed. His hands roam over me pinching my nipples, rubbing my stomach. His mouth begins to move down my throat and I know he is marking me again. They are always below the collar line now as he promised. My ring is firmly in place, has been since he put it there. Scully informs anyone that asks that I'm married to an amazon that can whip my ass. The last part is certainly true Walter can and does whip my ass.
He takes my hands and wraps them around the rails in the headboard and tells me not to let go. I do as I am told and close my eyes when he returns to kissing and sucking at my throat. When he moves down to my nipples I almost let go. He found out early on that my nipples are one of my weak spots. Hell with him I'm just one giant weak spot.
"Foxglove, have you ever thought about getting these pierced? It could add to our enjoyment in so many ways. Thinking of you wearing nipple rings under your work clothes would make me hard every time I looked at you."
"I've never thought about it. Does it really add to the sensation?"
"I've been told it heightens the feelings. Especially in someone that is already sensitive like you are. It's up to you, think it over and if you want we'll get it done."
He goes back to his attack on me and I go back to making all those noises he loves to hear me make. He works on my nipples then nips at my side just above my waist. When his head moves lower I hold my breath. Yes he *is* going to. He licks me just like he did last night. There are mirrors above the bed but I can't see because his head is blocking the view. I rise up just enough so I can see him. I still have trouble believing that *Mr. Hard as Nails AD Skinner I never bottom* is licking my cock. I've had experienced people suck me, people with Phd's in cocksucking, but no one ever made me feel this wonderful.
What he lacks in technique is more that made up for with the fact that I'm the only one he has ever done this for. When he takes me into his mouth I almost levitate. I hang on to the headboard and try not to think about how hot and wet his mouth is on me. He raises his head and tells me I'm *keening* again do I want to come. I gasp out please. It's all I'm capable of right now.
"Come for me lover."
Lover. One of the most beautiful words in the English language. His mouth covers me and I come screaming his name.
Walter's POV
There it is again, the warm salty taste that is Fox Mulder. What is happening to me? He has bewitched me and I'm happy to be that way. I arrange myself between his legs and nuzzle my face into his throat. His legs come up around me.
"Hey can I let go of the bed now?"
"Sure, why not."
His hands wrap around me and I feel his lips against my head.
"I love you, Walter."
I tell him that I love him too. We lie there, caressing each other and kissing until his stomach growls at me.
"Guess I'd better feed you before you waste away."
"Waffles? Please, Daddy."
"Don't get greedy, Son. Yes we can have waffles. Come get some clothes on so I can cook without being distracted by that sweet little ass."
I give him one more kiss then roll off and go to the bathroom. He follows me in and finds me brushing my teeth.
"Do I taste bad?"
I look up at his reflection in the mirror then spit out my toothpaste.
"No. Why did you ask that?"
"Well I heard you brushing this morning and I don't think you've ever brushed until after my morning wake up. So I thought maybe I tasted really bad."
I rinse my mouth then turn to him and pull him close.
"Do I taste bad?"
"No! I love the way you taste."
"You taste good too. I was surprised that I liked it to be honest. That first lick was just to get your attention. Then when you looked at me like a kid at Christmas I wanted to give you that. You are right, I don't brush before I *wake* you up, but this morning I wasn't hard right away. I think I overdid yesterday. I'm getting old, Fox. You probably won't get fucked four times in one day anymore. I brushed because I hate morning breath. Yes the after taste of you was there and it made the morning mouth different. If we indulge in oral at bedtime I will brush afterwards, but you are not to infer that I'm doing it because you taste bad. If I thought you tasted bad I wouldn't have gone down on you again. Why I started brushing now is habit I guess. It's morning I just fucked my lover and it's time to piss, brush, shave and get on with the day. Stop worrying about this. Now come on get dressed, I'm hungry."
Mulder's POV
Wow! I never thought he would say such things to me. When this started I thought I was the *flavor of the month*. He would use me and then it would be like the others *don't let the door hit you in the ass*. I wanted him so much I was willing to let that happen for the time I could get. Then when he said he loved me I thought it was just a man thing to say. But the things he said last night and just now, he was looking me in the eye when he said them, he meant every word. He isn't playing games with me he's having a relationship with me.
We make breakfast together and he suggests we go for a hike to work out the kinks. We spend several pleasant hours together. He keeps me from tromping through poison ivy and I point out birds to him. No I'm not a bird watcher. One night at Oxford when I couldn't sleep, a book on birds was the only thing I could find to read that I hadn't read. His strong hand is there to steady me when I stumble over a root I didn't see. He makes me smile and I make him laugh.
By the time we get back to the cabin I'm feeling happier than I ever remember feeling. I've spent a wonderful day with my *lover* and I know he enjoyed himself as much as I did.
"Fox, I think I need a nap. Let's start a fire and snuggle on the sofa."
Sounds like a great idea to me. I'm a little tired too. I sit and watch as he starts the fire then he comes over sits next to me and takes off his boots. He pushes at me motioning for me to get up. He stretches out then reaches up to pull me down on top of him. It feels so good to be lying there on top of him with his big hands gently kneading my back. I'm almost asleep when he starts to talk. With his first sentence all thoughts of sleep are forgotten.
"Fox, I didn't want to talk about us while we were out roaming the countryside. I wanted to talk with you in my arms. That's where you belong now."
I raise my head so I can see his face. He shifts under me and manages to reposition me so I can see him without straining my neck or putting an elbow through his chest.
"Will you try to be quiet for once and let me get what I need to say said?"
I nod and tighten my hold on him.
"I want to start by saying I've been in love with you for years. I can't tell you how hard it was to keep my hands off you. Especially when you were hurt. Hell you know the only times I go to hospitals is for you or Scully. When it was Scully it was to see if you were holding up if you would need me. When her cancer was bad I wanted to hold you and comfort you but I had no right to do that."
I couldn't stop myself I butted in.
"I fell in love with you the first time I saw you. I wanted you to hold me all those times. You always being there helped more than you know."
"Fox, you agreed to let me get it said."
"I know but I need to tell you how I feel too. I don't want to chance forgetting to tell you something important. Maybe I could take notes?"
He chuckles at me, kisses my forehead then resumes talking.
"Ok but try to keep it to a minimum and I'll give you time to say whatever you need to say to me later. That Friday you showed up at my door I had only been home long enough to change clothes. I was still keyed up over the reaming the Director had given me about this last X file of yours. He was in rare form even for him. He basically told me if I couldn't *handle* you maybe he would find someone that could."
I stiffened against him and felt his hands tighten on me.
"Is that why I'm here? You are *handling* me."
"No! you are here because I love you and you belong to me. If you would let me finish before you get your back up I think you'll understand. I told him the other AD's wouldn't do any better because they don't have your respect. I also reminded him that you are the best profiler in the world and it was in the best interest of the FBI to keep that resource. If that means giving you some leeway with the X files then that's how it has to be. So when you showed up I was still pissed. Pissed that I was defending you again and you never seemed to appreciate anything I do for you."
"Walter that's not true."
"Fox, please. There you stood your eyes stripping off what little I had on I suddenly knew I could at least fuck you even if it was for one night. I knew I wanted more that one night but if that was all you would give me I was going to take it."
His hands moved over me touching the places where he keeps me marked. This time I stayed quiet and waited for him to continue.
"The things I said to you that night were mostly to try and get you to leave. I knew I would hurt you and I didn't want to do that. That doesn't make sense does it?"
"Yeah, Walter, it does. It makes as much sense as me staying to let you. You told me you would hurt me. You told me I could leave. I gave you permission to hurt me by staying. I told you I'm a pain slut it's the truth. I only get off really hard when there is pain. Guess that's why I've always gone after really butch guys. Haven't you noticed that even when you try to be gentle I won't let you? I need the burn. I need to be possessed."
"Fox, possessing you means more than giving you pain. It means giving you love too. It's wonderful that we both like it rough, but sometimes I want to be gentle with you. You never have to worry that I'm getting ready to walk out on you just because I'm gentle. You have no idea how guilty I felt when I came out of that bathroom this morning."
"But, Walter there is no need to feel guilty. I may have misunderstood a lot of what is going on with us but I *know* you wouldn't keep going if I asked you to stop. So the state of my ass right now is as much my fault as yours."
I run my hand over his jaw as I say this and keep eye contact so he can see the truth in my eyes. He kisses me then soft and gentle and I fall in love with him all over again.
"I thought we were taking a nap?"
"We are go to sleep my foxglove."
Mulder's POV
I wake up later and he isn't beside me. I never felt him leave. I must have really needed the sleep. I know he is cooking dinner from the smells coming from the kitchen. I wander that way and stand in the doorway watching him cutting vegetables for a salad. He humming and I smile. He seems to do that a lot when he's cooking. I make a little noise as I move toward him and he looks up. He puts down the knife and turns to hug me.
"Dinner will be ready soon sleepy head."
"Hey it was all that fresh air you exposed me to today. What were you humming just now?"
"What? Oh it's an oldie. Can't remember the exact name. It goes *Kiss me each morning for a million years, hold me each evening at your side, tell me you'll love me for a million years, then if it don't work out, then if it don't work out, then you can tell me goodbye* Why?"
"You know you really have a great voice. Will you sing the whole song to me sometime? Will you do those things with me?"
"If you find the words I'll sing the whole thing for you. Are you sure you can put up with me for that long?"
"Yeah I'm sure."
"Why don't you put on some music and I'll finish up here. You could set the table too. We'll eat like grown ups for a change."
I smile and wander off to the bathroom first and then to do my other chores. I fiddle with the radio for awhile looking for an oldie's station and find one. Then hurry to set the table. While I'm setting the table they give the request line number and I run for the bedroom to get my cell phone. The DJ knows exactly what song I am talking about and promises to play it in about an hour. I want us to be through with dinner. By the time he comes out of the kitchen with the salad I have the candles lit and the lights turned off. The only light is from the candles and the fireplace.
I can tell by his smile that he is pleased. He turns toward the living room and realizes he's hearing oldie's playing. Again a smile. We talk and laugh over our dinner and we are still at the table when the song comes on. The DJ just says, "This one is for Walter."
He's up and around the table pulling me to my feet and suddenly we're dancing for the first time together and he is singing in my ear. This romantic shit could become additive.
Walter's POV
He amazes me. He found an oldie's station and got them to play the song. I pull him up to dance with me and sing in his ear. When the song is over I pull back to kiss him and see tears in his eyes.
"Fox what is it?"
"Nothing really. I just never thought I would be so happy. I must have done something really right in a past life to get you in this one. "
"Maybe we've been together in past lives, Fox. Maybe we've always been together."
"Walter Skinner, I may have to open an X file on you. You believe in past lives?"
"So?"
He suddenly changes the subject and I let him.
"We need to get that song on CD so you can sing it to me when ever we dance."
"I take it that means you like dancing with me?"
"What's not to like about being in your arms while you sing to me."
I smile and kiss him and suggest we clean up so we can cuddle in front of the fire. Once I settle down with my back against the sofa he sits between my legs and leans back against me and I wrap my arms around him. We sit there until the fire dies down and just make out. Nothing really hot and heavy, just kissing and touching and holding each other. For the first time I think we're going to make it. I wonder where I can get foxgloves to send him next Monday when he goes back to work.
****The song quoted goes as follows:
THEN YOU CAN TELL ME GOODBYE
The Casinos
- written by John D. LoudermilkKiss me each morning for a million years
Hold me each evening by your side
Tell me you'll love me for a million years
Then if it don't work out
Then if it don't work out
Then you can tell me goodbye
Sweeten my coffee with a morning kiss
Soften my dreams with your sighs
Tell me you'll love me for a million years
Then if it don't work out
Then if it don't work out
Then you can tell me goodbye------ organ solo ------
If you must go, oh no, I won't grieve
If you wait a lifetime before you leave
Then if you must go
Mmm, I won't tell you no
Just so that we can say we tried
Tell me you'll love me for a million years
Then if it don't work out
Then if it don't work out
Then you can tell me goodbye
Continued in Part 8
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