10 Things NOT to say to a Cop  

1.   I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
2.  Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
3.  Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
4.  Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me.  Good job!
5.  I was trying to keep up with traffic.  Yes, I know there are no other cars around.  That's how far ahead of me they are.
6.  I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
7.  You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
8.  I pay your salary!
9. Do you know why you pulled me over?  Okay, just so one of us does.
10. When the Officer says "Gee Son...Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?' You probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee Officer your eyes looked glazed, have you been eating donuts?

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