203 Pets
Kent Weed

TITLE: Sappy Song
VOCALS: Mark David, Ivan Dudynsky, Natalie Nucci, Lisa Vale

NATALIE: Get ready for Barney!
IVAN & LISA: Barney!  Yeah!
NATALIE: Yes, it's everyone's favorite syrupy singer, Barney!
        I said, it's Barney!
MARK: Oh, gosh darn it, Andy.  I don't want to have to sing to these kids again!
IVAN: Hey!  You're Barney?
MARK: Yup, that's me alright.  Ask anybody.  Ask Aunt Bea, ask Opie.
LISA: But I thought you were a big, fake dinosaur!
MARK: I'm a law man.  That's my job, it's what I do. 
IVAN: Well hey, tell us a story.
MARK: OK, here's a story for ya: Tom Tom the pipers son, stole a pig and got arrested on an 1139-5er.  That's grand theft swine, baby!
LISA: Sing us a song!
MARK: OK, but you'll have to sing along with me.
LISA:  OK, Barney!
I love you dang-nabbit, I do.  Just like I love Thelma Lou.  With a ding dong, sappy song, stickier than glue.  That's how we sell tapes to you!
NATALIE: Mayberry Video presents Barney, because people would buy anything to keep the kids busy for half an hour.
MARK: You're darn tootin.'  Nausea medicine sold separately.

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