How is he today?” I asked quietly, hesitating outside the door, one hand on the brass doorknob.

            She smiled bravely, but the smile never reached her eyes.

            “Oh, about the same as usual,” she said lightly, “he’d be glad to see you. You know that.” Her last words held a trace of bitterness, and I couldn’t blame her for that. I suppose she just couldn’t understand why her dying child rejected the family, and welcomed a stranger instead.

            But she wouldn’t keep me away. She loved him too much for that.

            I simply nodded, wishing I could say more, but not daring to. Steeling myself, I opened the door, and entered the room to confront the nightmare scene I faced everyday.

            A nightmare…and yet a dream I would rather cling on to with every last vestige of my strength than let slip away.

            She had been overly optimistic when she’d said ‘about the same as usual’. He was fading. I could see it in his eyes, the way he took just that bit longer to sit up and smile at me.

            “Hey, Oliver.” His voice was barely a whisper. He couldn’t manage much more than that.

            I smiled back at him as I came over.

            “How do you feel today?”

            “Same old, same old.” He blinked discreetly, trying to shake off the sleepiness of a newly-awakened daze…he could shake off the sleepiness, but not the pallor of disease, the –

            - sickness that’s eating him up from the inside. It’s taking him away, can’t you see that, it’s taking him away from you –

            - cancer that was draining his life.

            “Liar.” I chided as I sat on the bed, taking his frail form into my arms.

            He laughed weakly, leaning his head against my shoulder.

            “Am I that obvious?”

            “No.” …I was a liar too.

            We sat like that for a while, in companionable silence, as if we were just passing a lazy afternoon like friends sometimes do.

            As if he wasn’t slowly dying in my arms.

            Then I couldn’t take it anymore, this easy lie.

            “Does it hurt?” I buried my face in his hair, not really wanting to know the answer.

            There was a slight pause.

            “Yes,” he admitted.

            “Worse than before?”

            “Yes.” He said again, “I’m not going to last much longer.”

            “Percy…” I wanted to tell him not to say that, but the words caught in my throat. It was true. We all knew it.

            There was a silence, as I tried to blink away the tears in my eyes, tried to work past the sudden constriction in my throat. Then he spoke.

            “…Do you want to know a secret?” He sounded almost playful, the way he said the word made it seem as if ‘secret’ had a capital ‘S’.

            “What secret?”

            “When I die,” he’d tripped slightly over the word, but we pretended not to notice, “I’m going up to heaven where the angels are…”

            Angels…

            “…And I’m going to eat all the chocolate ice cream I never got to eat because the others wanted it.” He finished promptly.

            I blinked.

            “That’s your secret?”

            “Uh huh.”

            “Chocolate ice cream?”

            “You have no idea how much ice cream I’ve had to give up just because I was older.”

            I laughed. I couldn’t help it. I’d had no idea.

            When I finally managed to calm down, I asked, sober, “Do you really believe that?”

            “No.” He admitted with a small smile. “But it’s a dream, isn’t it? And a secret to keep before I die.” Again, he tripped over the word.

            “You’re the only one who knows my secret,” he continued, looking thoughtful, “…It’s our secret, then.”

            I nodded, holding him close.

            “Our secret.” I whispered tightly, smiling at the thought of chocolate ice cream.

            It was a while before I left.

* * * * * * *

            When I came to see him today, I knew he wasn’t going to make it.

            “He wanted you.” She’d murmured as I passed. Her eyes were bright with tears. She’d given my hand a squeeze as she passed, and I knew that, hurt as she was at the rejection, I was forgiven.

            We wasted no time as I entered and held him, gripping his hand tightly. There was no more room for banter.

            “I’m scared.” He said simply, a dim hopelessness in his fast-fading eyes.

            “Don’t be.” I tried to keep the tears in, but they spilled over anyway. ”Think of the chocolate ice cream.”

            He laughed weakly, gasping in pain as he did so.

            “Our secret.”

            I nodded, not trusting my voice. I know he could feel it.

            “I didn’t want them to see me like this.” He gestured vaguely towards the living room.

            “I know.” It was a whisper.

            …Where did we go wrong?…Where did we go wrong?…

            “It’s dark, you know, it’ll be dark, and I won’t be able to feel a thing, ever –“

            I cut off the rising panic in his voice forcefully.

            “No!” I continued, gentler, “…no. It’ll be bright, so bright. It’ll be beautiful. There’ll be angels…”

            “…Yes.” He smiled.

            “…Angels, and chocolate ice cream.” I wept openly, it didn’t matter anymore.

            …Percy…oh…Percy…

            “…Ice cream…” The fight had gone out of his voice. It was over. I could feel it. It was over.

            I stared at him through my tears. Watched him smile a beatific smile, the last time, I knew.

            I would see that smile forever.

            “…I’ll be waiting for you.”

            And then he was gone.

            I went out to face them, tears still pouring down my cheeks.

            “It’s over.”

            “Oh – my boy –“ She broke down first. The others followed, more discreetly.

            “It’s okay,” I tried to smile, “He’s gone up to heaven with the angels…he’s going to have all the chocolate ice cream he ever wanted.”

            I wondered how he would feel, me telling our secret like that.

            …But it was our secret…and I guess it was okay.