So keep moving on with your fake ambition. You say the things but never show them. What is there left when words become meaningless yet again? Please leave me be from your selfish and [secretively] sadistic pursuits. Out from under and over the hills I'll go. I'll keep moving on & keep wondering what is wrong.

Sometimes I turn away and say things I don't mean because I don't want anyone to see me cry. I hate fake sympathy because they already look down on me inside. These hours spent alone sometimes feel longer than a decade.

I pulled out my old yearbook yesterday; look at those pretty girls with pretty hair & perfect eyes; their makeup is just right & they all have perfect smiles [how many of them are lies?] And then I picked up this magazine with a pretty girl on the cover. So beautiful on the surface but so different on the inside. And then I realized that I would [& could] never be like them. [Oh yeah, it also hurt me when you implied that I should be like them.] Sorry, I just can't be everything [anything] you [everyone] want[s] me to be.

We all succumb to something on that drive to feel like we belong. What is exactly real anymore? The world has become overpopulated and creativity continually runs dry everyday. Today, we could go on with our lives & never know who we really are because we all have been marred by a higher power. [No wonder there is so much sadness and fuck-ups.] And even when you do appear happy, do you really feel fulfilled way down inside?

I wish I could drown all these broken people, dreams, and ideas in a bottle of booze. Before I cap it off, I'll drop a single tear so we can all reflect back & decide how to rid the unloveliness we never deserved. I'll drop it and watch it shatter into fifty thousand pieces as it cuts into my bare foot. Then things could be reborn & we could all start over again. Erase from your memory bank all those regrets that always seem to eat us inside out.