The Bat Files - The Cat Files
Original Story by Al Tootikian Adaptation by Steve Zink

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Story © Steve Zink

The following story contains characters owned by DC Comics/Warner Bros. It is written as a fanfic parody story not intended to make any use of actual story lines in published books. The story is purely for fun, with no profit to be made by the authors.

The first half of this story was written by Catwoman afficianado Al Tootikian, who at the time and at least until mid-2001 had a fantastic website devoted to Selina Kyle, DC's Catwoman. He covered all of the media, with a great collection of photos and artwork, and also his collection of fanfic stories written by himself and a few others. I wrote the second part of this story after reading the first part. I'd originally intended to leave this as an open-ended story, but it really does need to be continued.

The Bat-Files
by Al Tootikian
with an adaptation by Steve Zink

Chapter 1 - Going Bump In The Night

Two men were running down a dark alley, chuckling to themselves.

"That was easy!" one said. "She didn't even put up a struggle!"

The other held up a purse, obviously not belonging to him.

"Yeah," he replied. "A piece of..."

His reply was rudely interrupted by the sudden appearance of a caped apparition, looming in front of them. The figure towered above them, just standing there. The figure easily picked up the two thugs and held them out at arm's length.

"Who are you?" one asked hesitantly.

"I'm Batman!"

On the other side of town, in another dark alley, a woman was being mugged by yet another hoodlum.

"Help! Batman!"

A shadowy figure appeared out of the darkness, but the silhouette was definitely female in form. A few swift kicks brought the assailant to his knees. She turned to the victim.

"You make it so easy, don't you?" the figure hissed. "Always waiting for some Batman to save you!"

She turned back to the unconscious attacker. With two fast strokes, her claws turned the mugger's face into a grisly tic-tac-toe board.

"I am Catwoman! Hear me roar!"


Chapter 2 - The Truth Is Out There

A battered government-issue car was careening down a dark highway late at night. Inside were two conservatively-dressed FBI agents.

"You're lost again, aren't you?" Scully muttered.

"Not lost," Mulder replied. "Just temporarily disoriented."

"Men!" she snapped. "I told you to ask for directions back there."

She dug a map out of the glove compartment.

"Wait, Scully, there's a town up ahead."

The road suddenly opened up onto a brightly-lit expressway that led into a large city.

"That's odd," she mused. "There's no city shown on this map."

"There's a sign," he replied. "It says, 'Welcome to Gotham City'."

"Gotham City? Never heard of it."

The two stopped at a small diner for coffee. Mulder picked up a local newspaper and scanned the front-page articles.

"Look at this!" Mulder said excitedly.

Scully glanced at the paper. It was full of stories about a mysterious Bat-man running loose in the city.

"So?" she asked. "It sounds like some guy running around in a Halloween costume."

"No, wait!" Mulder replied. "The article says he's twelve feet tall, can fly, and has superhuman strength! He's apparently some sort of vigilante, but the police can't track him down. Every time they corner him, he vanishes into thin air!"

"He's probably some urban legend cooked up by the news media."

"I suspect a government cover-up here!"

"Mulder, you think it's a government conspiracy that there's no Betty Rubble in Flintstone Vitamins!"

"Well, why is there a vitamin in the shape of Fred's pet dinosaur, even his car, for chrissake, but no Betty?!"

Scully's eyes rolled up. She'd heard this all before.

"There's more! The paper says there is also a Bird-man, a Cat-woman, even a Plant-woman!"

"All right," she sighed. "Let's check with the Gotham City police commissioner to get the lowdown on this menagerie."


Chapter 3 - Just The Facts, Ma'am

"It's nice to hear from the big guys in Washington," greeted Commissioner Gordon. "Usually we don't hear from you until after some disaster has occurred."

"I'm agent Fox Mulder, and this is agent Dana Scully."

"Sit down. What can I do for you?"

"Commissioner, I understand you're the one most familiar with this Bat-man we read about."

"Yes, that's true. I've known Batman for over twenty years."

"What can you tell us about him?"

"Actually, not much. No one knows who he really is. Whenever some innocent citizen is in trouble, he shows up and saves the day. Batman has also proven invaluable in solving some of the most baffling crimes ever committed. He is a brilliant detective and has access to some of the most sophisicated forensic equipment available. Whenever I need him, I just call him."

"How, exactly, do you call him?"

"Well," Gordon replied somewhat red-faced. "I shine a big light in the sky."

Scully and Mulder looked at each other.

"A big light, you say. Maybe you should call him Moth-man," Scully said sarcastically.

"I don't think 'Moth-man' would strike terror in the heart of too many criminals," Mulder replied.

"Is this Bat-man observing proper police procedures when apprehending a suspect?"

"Not exactly. He makes sure there is enough evidence to convict the perpetrator, but has his own unique methods of extracting a confession."

"So this Bat-man is basically, a vigilante."

"Technically, yes," Gordon replied. "But he's saved my life more than once. Batman is not some loose cannon! He doesn't use firearms and goes out of his way to avoid harming innocent bystanders."

"That may be so, but Batman is probably violating the suspect's rights."

"I would support him with my dying breath," Gordon stated firmly.

"You say you don't know who he is?"

"No one does. He wears a mask, some say to hide a badly disfigured face, but most likely to avoid identification. If not, he'd have been put out of business years ago by the lawyers."

"How about some of these other characters we read about? I understand there are others who are half-human, half animal or vegetable. That they take on the shape of a bird, a cat, or a plant."

Gordon laughed. "Yeah, that would be Penguin, Catwoman, and Poison Ivy."

"More vigilantes?"

"Just the opposite. They and their partners in crime have been the bane of this city. Their never-ending schemes have been keeping us busy for decades! If it wasn't for Batman, it would be a war zone here."

"Can we talk to some of your other personnel?"

"Be my guest. Oh, by the way, did I tell you about the killer clown?"

"These guys are nuts, Mulder," Scully said under her breath. The agents beat a hasty retreat.

In the hallway, a hulking man in a dirty coat encrusted with doughnut crumbs stopped them.

"You want to know about the Batman?" Detective Bullock bellowed.

"Well, yes."

"He's a freak! They all are! A headline-grabbing freak! I've been on the force for twenty years, and Batman has been a pain in the neck! He busts up our stakeouts, or flies in at the last minute and takes all the credit!"

"Uh, thank you, Detective," Mulder said. "Let's get back to our hotel room, Scully."


Chapter 4 - First Contact

"Just think of it, Scully!" Mulder said excitedly. "A clear case of lycantropy."

"Lycantropy? You mean as in the Wolfman?"

"Exactly! Ordinary people by day, animals by night!"

"I think we just got a bunch of kinky characters running around in rubber animal costumes."

"Well, that's another possibility."

"I don't think this involves the FBI," Scully decided. "The local authorities seem to have things under control."

Mulder looked dejected. Just then, an explosion took place outside their hotel window in the jewelry store across the street. They watched in fascination as a slinky purple-clad woman emerged who looked and acted just like a sleek jungle cat. The figure looked up in horror and saw a dark, winged creature drop down out of nowhere. The Cat-woman pulled out a whip and tried to fend off the shadowy figure. The two wrestled for several minutes, but the Cat-woman got in a lucky kick and sent the Bat-man spinning into some garbage cans. She cracked her whip at something in the air and disappeared. The Bat-man got up, recovered the loot, checked the store for injured, and called for police.

"Stop! FBI!" Mulder yelled, as he and Scully ran out into the street.

The Bat-man pulled out what looked like a weapon. Both agents drew their service revolvers. The dark figure pointed his 'weapon' in the air and fired it. Something shot out of the device and in the blink of an eye, the Bat-man shot upwards out of sight. The agents checked out the area where the two figures fought it out.

"You find anything, Scully?" Mulder asked. "Scully? Scully?"

Scully woke up in a stinking sewer, but she wasn't alone. She could hear snickering and things scurrying about... She drew her revolver.

"Welcome to my lair, agent Scully! I understand you've been asking about us."

Scully turned around and came face to face with a blobby figure with a long bill for a nose and flipper-like hands. He was dressed in formal but soiled clothes, and wore a top hat and monocle. He also carried an odd-looking umbrella, which was pointed directly at her.

"Nice of you to drop in," Penguin went on. "Please put down your weapon. This umbrella shoots live rounds!"

Scully put her revolver on the ground. Penguin fired one round at it, sending the gun skittering off into the distance.

"That's better," he said, blowing the smoke from the end of the umbrella. "You two agents have been asking a lot of questions."

"Mulder and I are part of a special branch of the Bureau that deals with inexplicable or paranormal activity."

"Which are we," Penguin asked, "inexplicable or paranormal?"

"Well, so far we've seen Batman and Catwoman, and you must be the one they call The Penguin. You seem like more or less normal people, so I guess you fall into the inexplicable category. So what is the deal with all of you?"

Penguin laughed with that peculiar quacking sound of his.

"You can blame it all on The Bat!" he suddenly shot back. "All of us owe our existance to Batman! You think there's just Catwoman, Poison Ivy, and me, but that's just the tip of the iceberg."

"Who else is there?"

"The list goes on and on. The Joker, The Riddler, Two-Face, The Scarecrow, Mad Hatter, Clayface, Killer Croc, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera...all of us, in one way or another, were created by Batman."

"What happened to all of you?"

"Some of us, like me, were born like this, while others had misfortune thrust upon them, through accident or design. Some, like Catwoman and Poison Ivy, look okay on the outside, in fact look terrific, but suffer psychological scars. The only difference between Batman and the rest of us is his dedication to fighting crime. We're trying to destroy the society that considers us freaks while he fights to preserve it!"

"Where can we talk to the others?"

"Just go to Arkham Asylum, my dear," Penguin replied. "That's where we all wind up, and so will Batman one day!"

With that, Penguin tipped his hat and walked off.


Chapter 5 - Arkham Asylum

Scully retrieved her weapon and, with some difficulty, made her way back to the surface and back to the hotel. She was wet and bedraggled.

"Whew-w! Where have you been?" Mulder asked, holding his nose.

"I just got a tour of Gotham's sewer system courtesy of The Penguin."

She briefed Mulder on her experience.

"What we have here are not lycantropes, but scarred individuals who have used their disfigurements to their advantage, creating an identity to strike terror in the hearts of the populace."

"Where do we go from here?"

"Arkham Asylum."

Next day the two agents walked up to the gates of the most infamous lunatic asylum since Bedlam.

"Lovely facility," Mulder remarked. "Didn't I see this place in a Hitchcock movie?"

They went inside and talked to the administrator.

"Yeah, they all wind up here eventually," the administrator said. "Our accomodations may seem primitive, but we're talking about the most dangerous psychopaths on the planet!"

"Can we talk to some of the inmates, I mean patients?"

"Be my guest."

The walk down the main corridor was like a stroll through Hell. Screams and maniacal laughter filled the air. They stopped in front of one cell. The sign on the door said: Jonathan Crane/Scarecrow.

"Open the door," Mulder asked the orderly.

"Are you sure?" the orderly replied. "This one's a real loony!"

"Yes, open the door."

The agents stepped in and slowly walked over to the figure curled up in a fetal position on the bed.

"Mr. Crane?"

The figure suddenly straightened out and confronted the agents.

"It's Professor Crane to you!" he snapped. "The media has bestowed upon me the title of The Scarecrow!"

Even seasoned agents like Scully and Mulder were taken aback by the horrific visage that faced them. In spite of the prison fatigues he was forced to wear, it wasn't difficult to see how he got his name.

"Once I was a respected professor of psychology at Gotham University. My discoveries about the human nervous system and its reaction to various drugs were groundbreaking. I got obsessed about chemically-induced neuroses and began to experiment on my students. When my own students refused to participate, I sought out 'volunteers' on the campus at night. Then Batman came along!"

"How did Batman figure in this?"

"He was called in when some of my experiments got a little out of control. I lost my position and had to continue my experiments on my own. This required a lot of money. I used my expertise to induce fear in unsuspecting people. It's easy to rob a bank, say, if everyone in it is bouncing off the walls. Batman caught up with me and I wound up here."

Crane looked straight at the agents.

"It's my goal in life to drive him to complete madness. I nearly succeeded several times. One time I got him to completely reject all his supporters, but he found an ally in Catwoman, the only time I ever saw them work as a team."

Crane pressed a note into Mulder's hand.

"Will you give this note to Batman for me?" Crane asked.

"Uh, sure, I guess so," Mulder replied.

"Thank you," Crane answered. "Hee...Hee...Hee..."

Crane curled back up in a ball and refused to answer any more questions. The agents tried several more patients, but they all either refused to talk to them or were so sedated that they were unresponsive.

"So much for that!" Mulder muttered as they left the facility. "I feel a strange tingling in my hand."

"That's the one you had Scarecrow's note in!" Scully noted. "He must have put something on it!"

Mulder started shaking.

"I don't feel so good..." he said, and passed out.


Chapter 6 - Nightmares

Mulder woke up strapped to a table in what looked like an operating room. He could see Scully on another table. Alien creatures of all shapes and sizes were hovering over them, clicking and buzzing to each other. One positioned an array of strange instruments over his head. Another brought in what looked like a futuristic chainsaw.

Mulder screamed.

He woke up feeling strangely disconnected. Then he saw his right arm over there, his left over there, and so on. He had been dismembered, each body part kept alive by artificial means.

Mulder screamed.

This time he awoke whole again, but suspended in a tank filled with a green fluid. Tubes were connected to his body, providing life support. Suddenly the tubes were removed and he could feel his body filling with fluid, slowly drowning.

Mulder screamed.

Now he was back on the operating table, but was surrounded not by aliens, but familiar faces: Skinner, Deep Throat, The Cigarette Smoking Man, Flukeman, Krycek, Duane Barry. Even José Chung was there taking notes. They bent over Mulder's body and snakelike tentacles shot out of their mouths.

Mulder screamed.

Mulder found himself in a plain cubicle cell, no visible doors or windows. The cell was totally bare except for a drain in the floor. Mulder sat down in a corner. He heard a gurgling sound. Out of the drain oozed the Black Oil, slowly moving toward the agent. The fluid touched Mulder's shoe.

Mulder screamed.

This time Mulder woke up on a hospital bed, Scully at his side. Expecting her to change into a monster or something, he grabbed her by the throat.

"Mulder!" she gasped. "It's all right! This is reality!"

He let go.

"The doctors say you have been given a powerful toxin," she went on. "You'll pass in and out of psychotic states, each one worse than the previous. They have no treatment."

"Maybe I can help," a voice said behind her. It was Batman.

The caped figure took a blood sample from Mulder, who was barely conscious. Scully gave him the poisoned note from Scarecrow.

"Wait! Can I ask you a couple of questions?"

Mulder moaned and Scully looked at him. When she turned around, Batman was gone.

Scully left the hospital to continue her investigations. A car roared up beside her and the driver, dressed as a circus harlequin, pointed a gun at her.

"Get in the car, sweetie!" Harley Quinn demanded.

Scully decided to comply, even though she noticed the gun Harley was brandishing had a cork stuck in the end of the barrel.


Chapter 7 - Joker's Wild

Scully found herself in what looked like an abandoned factory. She could just make out the words Axis Chemicals on one of the corroded tanks. She was led into a delapidated office.

"Here she is, Mr. J!" Harley announced.

"Ah, agent Scully, I presume!"

The man uttering that statement was dressed in wildly bright colors, but his face was what first caught Scully's eye. It was white as a ghost and the mouth was permanently twisted into a hideous grin. At his side were two hyenas.

Joker noticed her reaction. "Comedy isn't pretty, my dear!"

"And you are...?" Scully asked.

He bowed. "The Joker, The Clown Prince of Crime, at your service!"

"I suppose you're going to tell me how Batman turned you into the Joker," she guessed.

"I owe everything to Batman!" he screamed. "I used to be a small-time hoodlum, but Bats broke up our heist and I wound up in one of those vats!"

Joker pointed to the vats full of toxic chemicals.

"One day I'll return the favor," he cackled. "The thought of ol' Bats slowly descending into that tank...HEE! HEE! HEE!"

Scully shuddered. "Do you want me to set the record straight?"

"Actually, I couldn't care less. I just don't want the FBI poking around here! Lock her up, Harley!"

"Sure thing, Puddin'," Harley answered.

The agent started to fight back when Harley raised her pop-gun and pulled the trigger. The cork popped out, followed by a flag that said, "BANG!"

"You've got to be kidding!" Scully smirked.

Just then a green gas issued from the barrel, and the intrepid agent was soon unconscious.


Chapter 8 - Race For The Cure

Back in the Bat-cave, Batman was examining Scarecrow's toxin. As he suspected, the note was saturated with a neurotoxin, which also appeared in Mulder's blood sample. All of the formidable resources at his disposal were used to analyze the samples. With Alfred's help, the results were fed into the Bat-cave's powerful computer. He tapped a few keys.

Neurotoxins, cross-referencing...the screen read.

Batman studied the results. As he feared, this was a new formula with no known cure or treatment. Furthermore, he had only six hours to come up with something before Mulder slipped into permanent psychosis.

'What I need is someone who was exposed to the toxin and survived,' he thought.

"Reference all recent admissions to Gotham General for severe nervous disorders..." he typed in.

No match.

"Reference all recent admissions to Arkham Asylum and other mental institutions..."

No match.

"Scan recent news reports for individuals exhibiting similar behavior..."

A match! Batman stared at the name on the screen for several minutes.

"My word!" Alfred said. "She does seem to pop up when you least expect it, Master Bruce."

"Catwoman!" was all Batman could say.

The Dark Knight stood a lonely vigil on top of police headquarters. The bat-signal cut through the darkness like a knife, but instead of the usual bat-symbol, the shadow of a cat shown in the sky.

"We've got to stop meeting like this!" a sultry voice announced. A curvaceous form emerged from the shadows and confronted the crimefighter.

"Catwoman, I need your help!" the Dark Knight Detective implored.

Batman explained the situation to her.

"Why should I help them?" she asked. "Most of my run-ins with government types were not very pleasant. I need the FBI on my trail like I need a hole in my head!"

"According to Gordon, these two are different," he replied. "They've been instrumental in uncovering all sorts of conspiracies and coverups. Besides, I know you. If it's in your power to help, you will, even if it means possible capture."

He extended his hand. "A truce for now?"

"A truce." She clasped his hand. The two drew closer together. Her free hand stroked his chest emblem.

Batman broke the spell. "Come on, we've got work to do!"


Chapter 9 - Rescue, and a New Beginning

Mulder's attacks were getting worse. He was strapped to the bed to keep him from injuring himself or others, but the staff realized this would soon be inadequate.

"We're going to have to confine him to a padded cell," a doctor decided.

With the help of three burly orderlies, the struggling Mulder was taken to a private room and heavily sedated.

"That won't hold him for long!"

Mulder's world was crashing down around him. He could no longer separate fantasy from reality. He saw demons, monsters, aliens, conspirators, and other creatures.

"Hold still!" a figure whispered.

Mulder looked over and watched as a six-foot tall bat appeared to be injecting him with something.

Mulder let out one last scream and passed out. A nurse rushed into the room.

"He should be all right now," Batman whispered. "Let him rest."

Across town, Scully looked out of the small window in the door of the office she was confined to. All she could see was old rusted equipment. She would soon discover to her horror the purpose of that equipment.

Harley's face suddenly appeared in the window. "Peek-a-boo!"

Harley unlocked the door and entered, this time brandishing much heavier artillery, and a bundle of what appeared to be clothes.

Okay, sweetie," she ordered. "Time to take a bath!"

Scully was led to a catwalk that extended over one of the bubbling vats. The Joker was watching the proceedings with his usual glee.

"You seem like an intelligent woman," Scully asked. "Why do you associate with that...comedian?"

"Call me irresponcible," Harley answered.

"And my adoring partner," cackled Joker. "She was my psychiatrist in Arkham, until I gave her a dip in my chemical pool."

"I got a body to die for, and a mind with nothing to occupy it except my Puddin', the Joker!" Harley added. "We got the bath set just right for you, Scully. In you go!"

Harley opened a bar in the railing, gave Scully a nudge, and in she went, with a green splash.

The time it took Scully to surface and then swim to the side of the tank had already been preset by Joker as the correct exposure time for the changes he wanted to see taking place. Scully's hair would change from brown to black, her waist would become narrower, and her boobs would take on a more rounded form.

Scully reached a ladder at the edge of the tank, started to climb out, then fell back in due to the disorientation in her balance that the changes to her body had caused. The next time her head appeared above the tank rim, after nearly a double dose of Joker's special bath, it was framed in long black hair, streaming down her back to her waist.

Prepared this time for the new balance, Scully climbed up and over the tank edge, then looked up to her boss and compatriot with her newly expanded chest sticking out proudly above her grossly narrowed waist and flaring hips. Not merely rounded, her humongous boobs would make any exotic dancer envious. While Joker had intended for her to become a bit enhanced, her extra dip had caused Scully to become nearly a caricature of the feminine form, with all the exagerated dimensions of a comics Bad Girl. That extra dip had also done a lot more to Scully's mind. Joker had no idea just how vindictive and evil she now was.

"I'm ready, Joker," she said with a sultry voice. "Have you got my costume prepared?"

Harley, whose eyes were wide and her mouth agape in seeing this new feminine vision, blinked her eyes twice and then passed her bundle of clothes to Joker. For once in his life, even the Clown Prince of Crime's gaping maw seemed locked in awe. "Oh, my," he muttered, then came back to his senses. "Right here, my dear. Go rinse yourself off, and I'll put your costume in the office for you to get dressed."

Scully saw a shower head at the end of the catwalk, and swayed seductively on her way to it. Savoring the steamy water as it played over her now voluptuous body as it rinsed off the green chemicals, she further assimilated the mental reprogramming the dip in the tank had started. An evil smirk started to form on her lips.

Scully grabbed the towel and dried herself off, then stood under the air vent to dry her hair.

Joker dropped off the costume in the office, then told Harley to join him outside to await their new ally's full transformation.

Scully entered the office, saw the mirror above the desk, and look a look at her new image. Whereas Joker had been given snow white skin by his chemical bath, and Harley a merely healthy looking pale flesh by hers, her face had a deep, rich tone of tan. Her eyes, nose, cheeks and mouth looked like those of a European fashion model. Finding a cosmetic case on the desk, she applied sparing amounts of skin toner, then used dark blue shadow and deep black mascara to highlight her eyes and lashes, brushed some rouge onto her cheeks, and used a cherry red shade of lipstick to augment her pouting lips.

Scully then picked up the gloosy black latex catsuit and proceeded to pull the shiny material up her legs and around her body. After inserting her arms, she reached behind herself to pull the zipper up, snuggling the rubber costume close to her body. She folded the collar down, then pulled the cowl down over her head and let the collar come back up to seal it. She shook her hair to make sure all of it was free to fall from the back of the cowl, then zipped on the knee high spike heeled shiny black boots. She put a belt on low over her hips, then pulled on the shoulder length black gloves with claws at the fingertips.

Scully gave her new look a quick check in the mirror, used her new claws to straighten out the whiskers on each side of her nose, then stepped out the door.

Joker started clapping, Harley jumped up and down gleefully. "You're a vision to behold, my dear," said Joker. "Now we can counter the traitor who has given herself over to helping Batman and the Police! You are now the new Catwoman!"

"Meeowwwrrrr," said Scully, stretching out her clawed hands.

Just that moment, a voice was heard from the far end of the factory floor. "Is this an closed party, or can anyone drop in?"

"Well, if it isn't the purple pussycat!" Joker cracked, pulling out a gun with a ridiculously long barrel. "Here, Kitty, Kitty!"

The original Catwoman swung down from the rafters on her whip and sent the Joker crashing into a pile of rubble.

"Hold it right there, pussy!" Harley yelled, pointing her own cannon at the purple clad feline.

Selina turned to see Harley's blunderbuss sticking in her face, and at the same time, saw the ebony clad woman standing behind her. "I suppose I should be alarmed at the barrel I see pointing at my nose. And who's your friend? She looks like someone I could come to like!"

"Oh, I'm sure you wouldn't like her!" Harley squealed, then shot the green gas directly into Catwoman's nose. She fell limp at Harley's feet.

Turning around to face Scully, Harley said, "Okay, time for you to take over, Catwoman!"

Joker walked closer, shaking dust from his clothes. "The first thing I want you to do, Catwoman, is to get to the hospital and finish off your ex-partner. I heard that Batman was setting up an antidote for the toxin that I had given Scarecrow to use against Batman, but gave to Mulder instead. Make sure he doesn't leave the hospital alive!"

The original Catwoman was stripped of her costume and tied up for later processing, left in the same room Scully had been put in.


Chapter 10 - Epilog


Mulder was sitting in his bed reading a file Batman had given him on the villains with whom he had to contend. Just as he got to the page on Catwoman, with the added note saying, 'Possible ally now', he heard his door open.

Mulder looked up to see a female in a floor length coat and black hat with veil come into the room. "Hello, Mulder," she said.

Mulder recognized the voice, even though the inflections were a bit different from what he was used to. "Scully, what's with the funeral clothes?"

As she ripped off the hat and veil to expose her cowled face and head, then doffed the coat to reveal her shiny black shape, Catwoman said, "I'm not Scully any more! I am Catwoman, and the funeral is for you!"

Catwoman reached into the weapons bag attached to her belt, pulled out the syringe Joker had given her, then plunged it into Mulder's arm.

Catwoman climbed out the window to make her way back down to the ground where Harley was waiting. All the way down, she heard the cackling laughter coming from Mulder's room. By the time she met Harley, the laughter had stopped.

Nurses had come running on hearing the maniacal laughter, but found Mulder quite dead, with a grotesque grin formed on his lips.

Catwoman and Harley set off to return to the factory. Joker was in the process of setting up the chemical baths for a new bather...
 

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