Some classic insulting quotes

"What's on your mind? If you'll forgive the overstatement."

-Fred Allen

"You have all the characteristics of a popular politician: a horrible voice, bad breeding, and a vulgar manner."

-Aristophanes"

"The gods too are fond of a joke."

-Aristotle

"She was a large woman who seemed not so much dressed as upholstered."

-James Matthew Barrie

"Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?"

-Milton Berle

"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here."

-Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."

-John Bright

"To those she did not like . . . she was a stiletto made of sugar."

-John Mason Brown (about Dorothy Parker)

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."

-Winston Churchill

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about."

-Winston Churchill

"Atlee is a very modest man. And with reason."

-Winston Churchill

"I may be drunk madame, but in the morning I will be sober, and you will be just as ugly."

-Winston Churchill (when asked if he was drunk)

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."

-Irvin S. Cobb

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."

-Clarence Darrow

"She has been kissed as often as a police-court Bible, and by much the same class of people."

-Robertson Davies

"He was distinguished for ignorance; for he had only one idea and that was wrong."

-Benjamin Disraeli

"He was one of the nicest old ladies I ever met."

-William Faulkner

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."

-William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"He has sat on the fence so long that the iron has entered his soul."

-David Lloyd George

"The best part of you ran down your mother's legs."

-Jackie Gleason

"He has every attribute of a dog except loyalty."

-Thomas P. Gore

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it."

-Moses Hadas

"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words"

-Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

"Nature not content with denying him the ability to think, has endowed him with the ability to write."

-A.E. Housman

"His ears made him look like a taxicab with both doors open."

-Howard Hughes (about Clark Gable)

"God was bored by him."

-Victor Hugo

"He's a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off."

-Lyndon Baines Johnson (about Gerald Ford)

"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."

-Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."

-Paul Keating

"Her only flair is in her nostrils."

-Pauline Kael

"He had delusions of adequacy."

-Walter Kerr

"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure."

-Jack E. Leonard

"I wish I'd known you when you were alive."

-Leonard Louis Levinson

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."

-Abraham Lincoln

"His speeches left the impression of an army of pompous phrases moving over the landscape in search of an idea."

-William McAdoo (about Warren Harding)

"You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it."

-Groucho Marx

"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception."

-Groucho Marx

"From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it."

-Groucho Marx

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."

-Groucho Marx

"Don't be humble ... you're not that great."

-Golda Meir

"He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death."

-H. H. Munro

"You were born with your legs apart. They'll send you to the grave in a Y-shaped coffin."

-Joe Orton

"It has been the political career of this man to begin with hypocrisy, proceed with arrogance, and finish with contempt.

-Thomas Paine (about John Adams)

"That woman speaks eight languages and can't say "no" in any of them."

-Dorothy Parker

"She ran the whole gamut of emotions from A to B."

-Dorothy Parker (About Katherine Hepburn)

"If all the girls who attended the Harvard-Yale game were laid end to end, I wouldn't be surprised."

-Dorothy Parker

"I can't believe that out of 100,000 sperm, you were the quickest."

-Steven Pearl

"A brain of feathers, and a heart of lead."

-Alexander Pope

"A cherub's face, a reptile all the rest."

-Alexanger Pope

"She's a vacuum with nipples."

-Otto Preminger (about Marilyn Monroe)

"Your idea of fidelity is not having more than one man in bed at the same time."

-Frederic Raphael

"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt."

-Robert Redford

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge."

-Thomas Brackett Reed

"He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them."

-James Reston (about Richard Nixon)

"He never said a foolish thing nor never did a wise one.

-Earl of Rochester

"He has no more backbone than a chocolate eclair."

-Theodore Roosevelt

"A little emasculated mass of inanity."

-Theodore Roosevelt (about Henry James)

"You're a good example of why some animals eat their young."

-Jim Samuels

"The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech."

-George Bernard Shaw

"A woman whose face looked as if it had been made of sugar and someone had licked it."

-George Bernard Shaw

"Gee, what a terrific party. Later on we'll get some fluid and embalm each other."

-Neil Simon

"Her body has gone to her head."

-Barbara Stanwyck (about Marilyn Monroe)

"I regard you with an indifference bordering on aversion."

-Robert Louis Stevenson

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."

-Charles, Count Talleyrand

"They don't hardly make 'em like him any more - but just to be on the safe side, he should be castrated anyway."

-Hunter S. Thompson

"He was as great as a man can be without morality."

-Alexis de Tocqueville

"An agile but unintelligent and abnormal German, possessed of the mania of grandeur."

-Leo Tolstoy (about Friedrich Nietzsche)

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."

-Forrest Tucker

"His ignorance covers the world like a blanket, and there's scarcely a hole in it anywhere."

-Mark Twain

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"

-Mark Twain

"God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board."

-Mark Twain

"A solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity."

-Mark Twain

"Had double chins all the way down to his stomach."

-Mark Twain

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."

-Mark Twain

"Nothing is sooner dry than a woman's tears."

-Nathaniel Webster

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."

-Mae West

"She is a peacock in everything but beauty."

-Oscar Wilde

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go."

-Oscar Wilde

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."

-Oscar Wilde

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."

-Billy Wilder

"She's been on more laps than a napkin."

-Walter Winchell

"Ignorance is never out of style. It was in fashion yesterday, it is the rage today, and it will set the pace tomorrow."

-Franklin K. Dane

"It's not Camelot, but it's not Cleveland, either."

-Kevin White, mayor of Boston

"This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but to be hurled with great force."

-Dorothy Parker

"Wagner's music is better than it sounds."

-Mark Twain

"Why was I born with such contemporaries?"

-Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts' for support rather than illumination."

-Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

""

-